I'm not "excited"... I'm anxious! Super super anxious. I look forward to hearing the final "egg count". And then I look forward to getting the first phone call on Friday, letting us know how many successfully fertilized. Then on Saturday, the next phone call with the new update, and so on... A huge part of me still feels like this is a dream or something. I have a hard time believing that in just a few more days, we will have a little embryo, or two, transferred back into my uterus.
This is real, huh? Endometriosis, blocked tubes, and almost four and a half years of trying to conceive our second baby —and still God has blessed us the entire time. We are so blessed to have this opportunity. The words I find myself thinking most are "This is crazy!...Thank you Jesus!"
So, I am thankful. Even when things get tough, I remind myself to be thankful. Even when I feel broken, physically, spiritually, and emotionally, I remind myself of how we are blessed in many other ways. And even when I have my moments of sadness, which seem to come and go randomly; I allow the tears to flow but then I ask God to hold my heart and carry me through...
Tomorrow is a really big day for us —but I am most anxious to see our embryos, the final product of these steps (and then, God willing, the final result in approximately nine months, a beautiful baby!). I shared with Chris last night how I'm having a challenge when I pray because I talk with God, saying "I know in your word you say to ask and you shall receive...but I also know that you plan is greater than I can ever imagine. So, I am asking for a miracle, a baby, Lord; however, if it is not your will for us, now or ever, please, please comfort us along the way...". But it's just a never-ending circle because then I go right back to "but in your word, it does say if you ask you shall receive...". See! haha. I guess I'm just praying for a miracle —either way. :)
We will be waking up around 6:30am, maybe a bit earlier, and then hopefully we will leave the house no later than 7:30am. I need to arrive by 8:30am and the procedure should begin by 9:30am. I don't know the order of how it all will go down. I just know I will be put to sleep and then they will do their thing (extract the eggs from the ovaries with a needle through the vaginal wall, using an ultrasound wand as their guide). At the same time, Chris will give his swimmers to someone else who will do their thing ("wash" the sperm and select the best ones to inject directly into each of the retrieved eggs (ICSI)—which will actually happen tomorrow too!). We were told that we will get the final egg retrieval count tomorrow, before we leave. Then, each day that follows, we will receive a phone call updating us with the progress of our fertilized eggs. (This is what I really really am excited for!)
See, BIG day tomorrow! :) Will you please be in prayer with us? Thank you SO very much!!
I'll update again soon.