To the housekeeper:
You've really been slacking. I can't stand it around here any more. You kept the place so nice and clean for about three weeks and then you stopped. I don't know what happened, exactly. I mean, I hear that your health has major ups and downs. I hear you deal with chronic pain -which leads to your random exhaustion. I'm assuming my housework isn't your only job... Oh, yeah, I know you have kids and all. I know they keep you up to odd hours, when you would normally be sleeping. I'm just not sure what to do at this point. I mean, I need you to step it up, suck it up, and get back on point. The rest of my family, obviously, has much more important things going on. I mean, you must continue picking up and taking out the trash every single night. You must keep the dishes and kitchen clean, at all times. You are the sole dish washer around here, don't forget that. Oh, and don't just leave the laundry laying around! The clean clothes can't just get piled in the laundry room. You have to actually fold and go put each piece away, exactly where it is needed (if you set it out in nice piles for each person to take on their own, it won't ever get done and they'll just end up getting thrown back into a pile). No one has time for all that;
Showing posts with label cleaning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cleaning. Show all posts
March 26, 2014
September 11, 2013
Facing Reality
2:48amI'm still awake. The twins have been sleeping for about an hour now; yet, here I am —still awake. I'm just not sleepy.
I've neglected blogging for many reasons. The main reason is I lack time management skills right now. The hidden reason is I don't know exactly what to write about anymore. Strange, I know. This blog has gone through my many different seasons: happy marriage, troubled marriage, parenting a public schooled child, homeschooling, fostering/adoption journey, infertility/trying to conceive, aggravating health issues, IVF, twin pregnancy, and now... learning how to raise babies all over again and readjusting to a "new normal".
I wish I made time everyday to write a little something about our day. But honestly, each entry would basically be the same: "I fed the babies. We played with them. They smiled and coo'd. Cloth diapering is still awesome and going very well. They cried. They napped. I'm exhausted. KJ had a great (or not-so-great) day. My emotions kind of suck again today... etc." ::pause:: yeah, my emotions really do kind of suck and that's what I'm choosing to blog about tonight. I've always tried to be myself and keep things "real" here, on my blog. Well, this is real. My life right now is super crazy at times, with feedings, diaper changes, sleep deprivation, 9 yr old melt-downs, and unspoken tension. However, my life right now is also super blessed! I mean, serious prayers have been answered. God blessed our family with way more than we ever imagined. But hormones and emotions still feel out of whack and sometimes I feel like I'm loosing my joy (not my "I'm in love with my babies" joy (that's still at 100%!!). More like my "I'm in love with life", as a whole, kind of joy).
All I want to do is lay around and only get up to feed my babies, really. In my mind, I always plan tomorrow out to be different. "I'm going to wake up at a decent hour and do something with my day." I always plan to go for a walk or clean 'this' and 'that'. I always plan on organizing something around the house to get somewhat of my 'old self' back. But I either feel too exhausted and I'd rather not use up my "resting time" to clean and organize or I just don't "feel like it". Yet, I can't stand that every day goes by and I don't do enough cleaning or organizing around here. Doesn't make much sense. I want to but I don't. I think it's more like I've lost the "care" to do anything other than take care of my children.
That can't be healthy, right?
Now, after having my first daughter, back in 2004, I fell into [postpartum] depression. I had no idea then. I didn't figure it out until years later. I looked back and realized that I really wasn't the healthiest, emotionally, that I could have been. This time around, I kept saying I knew what to look for. I fought hard in the beginning to stay focused on all the positive around me. I openly discussed my thoughts and feelings with Chris and others that asked. I felt "ready", in a sense, to tackle the postpartum stage.
Lately, I've started to wonder "what really qualifies as clinical depression?". I'm only human. I know that it's okay to have some low feelings. I know that not every moment of every day will feel wonderful. I know that this is just a phase and horrible concoction of 'new mommy hormones', sleep deprivation, mixed with health issues and a very slow recovery from the c-section —all on top of Chris recently going back to working 12+ hr days (after having 12 weeks off), leaving me to feel like I'm doing this all alone. And I feel like such a baby when I fall into the "I'm just so tired" [whiny] mind set. I knew I was going to have to be the one up with them during the night, since Chris leaves for work as early as 6am on most days. I knew that I would be caring for three children during the day. I just had no idea that my body would take this long to fully recover. I had also forgotten what it felt like to get absolutely NO break from the never ending 'baby days'.
I will definitely take responsibility where needed: my eating habits. I have gone nuts-o with eating whatever I want, however much of it I want. It's so HORRIBLE!!! I've always been an emotional eater and right now it's probably at it's worse! It's just a viscous, never-ending, cycle. I wake up feeling blah, so I eat whatever I find. Then my body feels uck again and I think of something else "yummy" to go and munch on. Then I get bummed out that I'm just eating junk . . . and yes, then I go and eat more junk! And I've read and heard so much about how food affects moods. These last few days, I've really tried to be more mindful about what I'm putting in my body. I'm trying to get back to the healthier mind-set I had while I was pregnant, working hard to keep my babies healthy and in as long as possible.
So, I decided to be a bit transparent about this phase of my life right now in hopes to gain some insight from others' experiences and also in hopes to help others know that battling these ups and downs is "normal". It might not be a healthy normal but regardless, it happens and no one is alone in this. That I do know.
I am in constant prayer and I do know that soon I will be able to look back on this time and know it was only part of this wonderful journey I am on.
... and now I shall pump and try to get some sleep!
Thanks for your constant support, love, and prayers.
October 8, 2012
IVF #1, Day 10: 10/8/12
AM:
I had my ultrasound/lab appointment at 7am (way too early!). Thankfully, Chris was able to go with me and stay with KJ, while I went in for my appointment. I normally just take her with me (one of the downfalls of homeschooling: I never ever seem to get to do anything on my own anymore —even the private important things that aren't considered "fun".) and she normally behaves well. However, on Friday, I noticed that she was waaaay too comfortable in the waiting room. Which, that is a good thing —except when it turns into laying on the couch because she's "tired", which I don't doubt she was, and then whining a bit too loud, in my opinion, when I told her to sit up... so embarrassing. So, having Chris, waiting in the car, with her is like a treat to me! haha.
I did the usual —sign in, sit and wait (which wasn't more than 3 mins today!), get my blood drawn, empty my bladder, undress from the waist down, flip the light switch on — turning a light on outside of my room letting them know "I'm ready", lay back for the ultrasound, and cringe and concentrate on trying to relax until it's over —because the endo does NOT like the ultrasound wand! But then something unusual happened... She was calling out the measurements of each follicle, on my right ovary, and the tech was inputting the info on the computer. "16mm, 18mm, 19mm, 17mm..." etc. ( didn't get a total count. I forgot to ask.) and then she moved over to my left ovary. Now, my left ovary is always in it's very own, strange, place. I had mentioned to Dr. B and Dr. A, at different times, earlier in the journey, that they have always been attached to either my abdominal wall or the uterus itself. But neither of them seemed concerned about it. So, I always figured it wasn't going to be a problem. So, this morning, Dr. B positioned the wand in a very odd way, in order to see the follicles. She seemed a bit alarmed by where it was located but I didn't think anything of it because it's always been the trickier one to view. She started calling out the measurements of the left follicles, "9mm, 12mm, 10mm, 11mm...". Uh, even I know that's not supposed to be like that —and this is just my first time at this. My left ovary did not respond correctly over the weekend. It's like the follicles just stopped growing! :( Why? I'm so disappointed.
Dr. B then tells me that my left ovary seems to be hidden behind my uterus. Hello!! I mentioned that in the very beginning! Ugh. I let her know that it is pretty typical of the ovary to actually attach itself to the uterus —not just "hide". Then she says, "that's what I was going to ask next, if it attaches with endo...". I asked her if they would still be able to extract eggs from it and she tells me that they won't know until the day of the retrieval. "We'll try and see if we can get it to cooperate!" she says.
Trying to keep an optimistic view, I ask her if she thinks that my right ovary will be enough for the retrieval. Thank God, it's actually the one that responded the best, of the two; so she said that it looks good and they will be able to use it. As positive as I'm trying to remain, it was a tough piece of information to take. I was crushed! You go into this doing everything right —all the injections, cutting out caffeine, chocolate, and alcohol, minimizing carbs, etc, in hopes to get as many beautiful eggs as possible. But then to hear that it only worked half-way, despite all of our efforts?! :( So, heartbreaking.
Even if my ovary does somehow, miraculously, move into a good cooperative position, the follicles aren't even the size they should be. The only peace and comfort I get from this news is that God knows what is best for my body and our future. Only He knows the outcome. I have to trust that His plan is much more of a blessing than I could ever imagine. This "bad news" about my left ovary could actually be a blessing in disguise —I just don't know it yet. It's not easy staying positive but I have no other choice. Holding on to negative "what ifs" will only cause stress and low emotions. Every time I start thinking of those negative "what ifs", I tell myself that God's got this. It's such a comforting reminder... "God's got this."
(this song always seems to have such a special meaning in my life...)
Our retrieval is set for this Thursday at 9:30am. We have one more night of three injections and then our trigger shot is set for tomorrow night at 11:30pm. That's the scary one! lol It's an intramuscular and it is a much longer and thicker needle —has to go into my backside... waaaaah!!!
******
PM:
Well, I just got my last Menopur, Follistim, and Ganirelix injections!! (I hope it's the absolute last I ever have to see of them!) Chris did the Menopur and Ganirelix; I did the Follistim (I just like the fact that I can give myself injections now. haha!). I'm definitely emotionally drained tonight. I've been doing all I can to stay positive after this morning's appointment. I stayed super busy today, cleaning and cooking my favorite chili and cornbread. I just wanted the shots to be over and done with, without causing me to get thinking too much about this morning or starting with the negative thoughts. It was easy to let myself start thinking 'what's the point of doing all this if it's already not even working properly'... So, Chris did the injections and we celebrated with a nice little kiss. I threw out all the empty glass containers and boxes and then condensed as much as I could. Our box of medications looked so much more empty after condensing what I could —it made me feel a bit better, seeing proof that we've come a long way so far! We are almost done and I know we are and will be blessed no matter what the outcome will be.
Thank you so much for all the encouraging words, prayers, and continued support —on facebook, instagram, twitter, and even through "old fashioned" texts! ;) I love hearing from everyone!
I had my ultrasound/lab appointment at 7am (way too early!). Thankfully, Chris was able to go with me and stay with KJ, while I went in for my appointment. I normally just take her with me (one of the downfalls of homeschooling: I never ever seem to get to do anything on my own anymore —even the private important things that aren't considered "fun".) and she normally behaves well. However, on Friday, I noticed that she was waaaay too comfortable in the waiting room. Which, that is a good thing —except when it turns into laying on the couch because she's "tired", which I don't doubt she was, and then whining a bit too loud, in my opinion, when I told her to sit up... so embarrassing. So, having Chris, waiting in the car, with her is like a treat to me! haha.
I did the usual —sign in, sit and wait (which wasn't more than 3 mins today!), get my blood drawn, empty my bladder, undress from the waist down, flip the light switch on — turning a light on outside of my room letting them know "I'm ready", lay back for the ultrasound, and cringe and concentrate on trying to relax until it's over —because the endo does NOT like the ultrasound wand! But then something unusual happened... She was calling out the measurements of each follicle, on my right ovary, and the tech was inputting the info on the computer. "16mm, 18mm, 19mm, 17mm..." etc. ( didn't get a total count. I forgot to ask.) and then she moved over to my left ovary. Now, my left ovary is always in it's very own, strange, place. I had mentioned to Dr. B and Dr. A, at different times, earlier in the journey, that they have always been attached to either my abdominal wall or the uterus itself. But neither of them seemed concerned about it. So, I always figured it wasn't going to be a problem. So, this morning, Dr. B positioned the wand in a very odd way, in order to see the follicles. She seemed a bit alarmed by where it was located but I didn't think anything of it because it's always been the trickier one to view. She started calling out the measurements of the left follicles, "9mm, 12mm, 10mm, 11mm...". Uh, even I know that's not supposed to be like that —and this is just my first time at this. My left ovary did not respond correctly over the weekend. It's like the follicles just stopped growing! :( Why? I'm so disappointed.
Dr. B then tells me that my left ovary seems to be hidden behind my uterus. Hello!! I mentioned that in the very beginning! Ugh. I let her know that it is pretty typical of the ovary to actually attach itself to the uterus —not just "hide". Then she says, "that's what I was going to ask next, if it attaches with endo...". I asked her if they would still be able to extract eggs from it and she tells me that they won't know until the day of the retrieval. "We'll try and see if we can get it to cooperate!" she says.
Trying to keep an optimistic view, I ask her if she thinks that my right ovary will be enough for the retrieval. Thank God, it's actually the one that responded the best, of the two; so she said that it looks good and they will be able to use it. As positive as I'm trying to remain, it was a tough piece of information to take. I was crushed! You go into this doing everything right —all the injections, cutting out caffeine, chocolate, and alcohol, minimizing carbs, etc, in hopes to get as many beautiful eggs as possible. But then to hear that it only worked half-way, despite all of our efforts?! :( So, heartbreaking.
Even if my ovary does somehow, miraculously, move into a good cooperative position, the follicles aren't even the size they should be. The only peace and comfort I get from this news is that God knows what is best for my body and our future. Only He knows the outcome. I have to trust that His plan is much more of a blessing than I could ever imagine. This "bad news" about my left ovary could actually be a blessing in disguise —I just don't know it yet. It's not easy staying positive but I have no other choice. Holding on to negative "what ifs" will only cause stress and low emotions. Every time I start thinking of those negative "what ifs", I tell myself that God's got this. It's such a comforting reminder... "God's got this."
(this song always seems to have such a special meaning in my life...)
Our retrieval is set for this Thursday at 9:30am. We have one more night of three injections and then our trigger shot is set for tomorrow night at 11:30pm. That's the scary one! lol It's an intramuscular and it is a much longer and thicker needle —has to go into my backside... waaaaah!!!
******
PM:
Well, I just got my last Menopur, Follistim, and Ganirelix injections!! (I hope it's the absolute last I ever have to see of them!) Chris did the Menopur and Ganirelix; I did the Follistim (I just like the fact that I can give myself injections now. haha!). I'm definitely emotionally drained tonight. I've been doing all I can to stay positive after this morning's appointment. I stayed super busy today, cleaning and cooking my favorite chili and cornbread. I just wanted the shots to be over and done with, without causing me to get thinking too much about this morning or starting with the negative thoughts. It was easy to let myself start thinking 'what's the point of doing all this if it's already not even working properly'... So, Chris did the injections and we celebrated with a nice little kiss. I threw out all the empty glass containers and boxes and then condensed as much as I could. Our box of medications looked so much more empty after condensing what I could —it made me feel a bit better, seeing proof that we've come a long way so far! We are almost done and I know we are and will be blessed no matter what the outcome will be.
Thank you so much for all the encouraging words, prayers, and continued support —on facebook, instagram, twitter, and even through "old fashioned" texts! ;) I love hearing from everyone!
August 5, 2012
Let's "socialize"!
If you haven't already heard the news... I finally created a facebook page for Life Happens. I may not always have an entire blog to post but I sure have plenty of quick 'happenings' and photos to post on facebook. :)
You can also find me on Istagram (life_hapns), Twitter (@life_hapns), and Pinterest (lifehapns). I'd love to connect with you! Oh, and if you enjoy phone games you can look for me as Life_hapns —of course! ;)
Find me on your favorite social site and say "hello". I'd also appreciate if you "share" it with your family and friends. Life sure "happens" and sometimes we just need all the support we can get... Thanks for supporting me on my journey!
-Michelle
You can also find me on Istagram (life_hapns), Twitter (@life_hapns), and Pinterest (lifehapns). I'd love to connect with you! Oh, and if you enjoy phone games you can look for me as Life_hapns —of course! ;)
Find me on your favorite social site and say "hello". I'd also appreciate if you "share" it with your family and friends. Life sure "happens" and sometimes we just need all the support we can get... Thanks for supporting me on my journey!
-Michelle
June 10, 2010
following in my foot steps --NOOO!!!!
Okay, friends, please share with me how you get your child to clean their room. Please make sure to include your child's age. I need some encouragement (or a wake up call).
KJ, she's five (will be 6 in exactly 2 months), and just WON'T CLEAN HER ROOM!!! Well, I mean, she will if I coach her through it one item at a time. Chris and I have found ourselves just cleaning it for her because it just seems to drag on and on --for hours sometime.
I've tried rewards and consequences. I haven't determined which one works "better". I don't like being the "bad guy" but I just don't know what to do at this point. I've organized that room, I don't know how many times, thinking "okay, it's going to work now." --and it doesn't last long. :(
Growing up, I used to be the same exact way. My mom and sis would just end up cleaning my mess up for me. I used to whine, throw fits, and go HOURS with getting distracted when I was supposed to be cleaning my room. To this day, I look at a mess and just get this creepy crawly feeling under my skin. I don't want her to take after me. I'm trying to intervene as best as possible.
Please share your stories, strategies, and tricks.
Thanks so much!
KJ, she's five (will be 6 in exactly 2 months), and just WON'T CLEAN HER ROOM!!! Well, I mean, she will if I coach her through it one item at a time. Chris and I have found ourselves just cleaning it for her because it just seems to drag on and on --for hours sometime.
I've tried rewards and consequences. I haven't determined which one works "better". I don't like being the "bad guy" but I just don't know what to do at this point. I've organized that room, I don't know how many times, thinking "okay, it's going to work now." --and it doesn't last long. :(
Growing up, I used to be the same exact way. My mom and sis would just end up cleaning my mess up for me. I used to whine, throw fits, and go HOURS with getting distracted when I was supposed to be cleaning my room. To this day, I look at a mess and just get this creepy crawly feeling under my skin. I don't want her to take after me. I'm trying to intervene as best as possible.
Please share your stories, strategies, and tricks.
Thanks so much!
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