October 21, 2011

She's keeping a close eye on me

Kryssa keeps up with what I tell her.  :)

Yesterday, she tried to sneak past me.  When I asked her why she was sneaking, she slumped over and quietly said, "'cause I went potty and I don't want to wash my hands."  Needless to say, I went on explaining the importance of hand washing when dealing with bodily fluids.

So, today, after I finished changing a baby's diaper, I noticed that she kept watching my every move.  As I'm wiping down the changing table, she asks me, "MOM! . . . have you washed your hands!??  Remember, you're always supposed to wash your hands after dealing with potty stuff!..."  As I finish up and head to wash my hands, she says, "Now are you going to wash your hands?? . . . Mom, you know what Life Rule number 16 should be?  Always wash your hands after going potty or changing a dirty diaper"

So, take note people.  The official "Life Rule #16", according to the 7 year old:  Always wash your hands when dealing with potty stuff.

October 19, 2011

Life lessons 101: The tooth fairy does not always show up

Kj lost another front tooth. It probably caused the most pain so far. She kept biting down on it --ouch!! While eating cereal, she bit down on it and it fell right out. We were all relieved --no more spontaneous cries of pain.

Kjs tooth fairy (she knows it's us) has been leaving "cool money": dollar coins or a two-dollar bill. For the first time, of four teeth, the tooth fairy did not stop by on Sunday night. We had to explain to kj that tooth fairies are not allowed to visit children that have been misbehaving (it was pretty extreme on Sunday!) she was disappointed and Wasn't sure if we really meant what we said.

She's been working on having better behavior, in hopes that the tooth fairy could make time to swing by the next time she's in the area.

*now that she's missing her two front teeth, she says she looks like a vampire. Lol she hates vampires!!

October 11, 2011

Sad sad and not so sad

Today was tough. I received numerous emails regarding Miss K. Some were fyi's from her school and the others were from a case worker that thought she was still living here. Last week, I received a phone call (voice message) about setting up everything we would need to submit monthly records. I guess they are just as slow to pass along the update, that she no longer lives here.

I'm great during the day, taking care of the kids, homeschooling, prepping meals, etc. However, once everyone goes home and everything is quiet, it feels as though I fall into a huge dark hole of sadness. I need to stay busy. I don't even like the peace and quiet right now...music, tv, chit chatting --it all clouds my mind and helps me focus on the happier things around me.

Chris has been wonderful. With his new meds for his heart (I just realized I haven't blogged about *that* update yet), he's always sleeping. And when he's not sleeping he's extremely sleepy and needs a nap. But even with that new change, he's great -loving supportive, comforting, and the perfect comedian right when I need it. :)

I wonder how he's doing... I wonder how kj is doing?! I know I'm not the only one affected by all of this.

I know, I know, "this too shall pass". I think I need to find a new fun hobby or something. Any ideas??

October 10, 2011

Saying "Goodbye" and letting her go

I haven't wanted to write about this. I still don't feel ready, even now. But I feel it might help bring some kind of closure?...if that's ever even possible.

We knew that stepping into the world of fostering would not be "a piece of cake". But we knew that the joys would always seem to outweigh the challenges. This wasn't even anyone's fault -other than the differences in how the two states processed the paper work. It wasn't done in the way that we were originally led to believe. We found out at the last minute that how we thought the process would be was completely wrong. We couldn't take the next step. It wasn't the wisest choice for her or us. It's all about 'What's best for her'. And that's how it should be, of course; but it's definitely not easy. I'm sad, angry, resentful, and even a little bitter inside. How could this have happened?! Why couldn't we have found out a whole lot sooner. We knew that there was always a chance that we wouldn't be her parents long-term. It just all seemed to happen so quickly.

All her stuff is still in her room, as if she's coming home after school —like any other regular day. I keep her room door closed to help me adjust to the change. Tonight, I finally folded our huge laundry pile and I had a stack of her clothes that I quickly folded, placed on her bed, looked around for a few seconds, shut the light off, and closed the door behind me --then quickly put a smile on my face as KJ approached me with a normal question, "mommy, where did you find this necklace? I've been looking for it!". I had to show my little KJ that "everything is alright". I can't let her see my sadness . . . not yet at least.

Thankfully, she can still come "visit" with us --as long as it continues to work out for everyone (her, her family, our family, etc.) She's back with her previous family; which is really the best case scenario —she knows them, loves them, and she will be able to just continue her days as normal (going to the same school, continuing with her usual after school activities, etc.) I hope she understands. I hope she sees all the positive in the situation —How she can get the best of both worlds.  It's not "goodbye" forever. Just until she visits again.

I trust God's plan for us. We had kept this whole situation in prayer from day one. I have to trust that this is His perfect plan for everyone involved. (I like to remember how my mom encouraged me through the tough decisions. This is what I got from what she said: Even if just for a short season, it was meant to be the way it turned out. The time we all had together has influenced her and her future in very special ways...) I have to stay focused on what a wonderful young lady she has become and what a beautiful future she has ahead of her. We are forever grateful to have shared a part in her life.

Here's to trusting God for a beautiful future . . .

October 4, 2011

Eighteenth time's a charm

Right?!  Well, I at least hope it is.  I went from, last week, being able to see the faintest of faintest lines on my hpts . . . to, Sunday, starting my cycle two days early.  :(

In my "oh, I want to conceive!!" crying sessions, that I allowed myself yesterday, I felt God's love and comfort.  He comforted me in a way like never before —or at least I don't remember, if I've already said this.  He opened my eyes to a new way of enjoying this chapter in my life.  Have you ever felt words spoken to your heart?  They are the best.  In this moment, my heart ache and confusion went away:  "Enjoy the now.  Because once you conceive, life will never be the same again.  The life that you can enjoy now will no longer be.  The time that you have now for your daughter and husband will change..."  The heavy weight of sadness was lifted —immediately.  I felt refreshed . . . until the next wave of emotions.  BUT it was comforting to remember to "enjoy the now".  :)

Last night as I was cuddling with my love (enjoying the 'tingly love sensations' in the pit of my stomach) I was, again, reminded of what I have now... I had to share that moment, that I had experienced earlier, with him.  (It's similar to how we've been saying that we had NO idea how we would never get the "us" time back —after KJ was born.  We only had 2 yrs of "us".)  I really hope it comforted him as it did me.  I know his heart aches too —in ways, I will never understand.  With all the ups and downs infertility brings, (I don't really know what the "ups" of infertility are...??) the love I have for my hubby has only seemed to intensify.  Don't worry . . . I'm still normal —he still irritates the heck out of me. ;) lol  But I sure do love him!!

(my favorite scripture) 
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails 
1 Corinthians 13:4–8

October 3, 2011

Say the right thing

I read this article and found it very informative, useful, encouraging.

In this article:

Say the Right Thing

By Andrea J. Buchanan

It's hard to know how to help when a friend has a miscarriage or fertility problems, or is going through a divorce. Here are the best ways to tell her you care.

When a Friend Has a Miscarriage

Lisa Bertrand, of St. Louis, felt sad and alone after her pregnancy ended at nine weeks. Her friends and family tried to be supportive, but some of their remarks were piercing and painful. "One friend said, 'The baby must have had a lot of problems,'" she recalls. "To me, it sounded like she was saying, 'It probably wasn't a perfect baby, and so what's there to be so upset about?'" What helped was talking to a friend who cried with Bertrand when she told her the news. "That friend really understood how I felt, and I ended up being the one reassuring her, saying, 'Don't worry; I'll be okay,'" Bertrand said.

No matter how clunky their reaction, most people genuinely want to make a friend who's lost a baby feel better. "Even the most insensitive things that pop out of their mouth are usually motivated by an impulse to make everything okay," says Ann Douglas, author of The Mother of All Pregnancy Books. With a miscarriage, what often gets minimized is the depth of the loss -- or at least that's how it can feel to someone who is hurting. "Even a very early miscarriage is the loss of a baby, and that causes grief," Douglas says. In addition, a woman who loses a pregnancy often feels guilty, as if it's somehow her fault. Friends who don't acknowledge what happened can compound that feeling. "If you aren't sure what to say, just say, 'I'm so sorry,'" suggests Douglas. "It might seem generic, but in most cases, it's the most appropriate thing to tell someone."

Don't say...
  • "It just wasn't meant to be." It's easy to be philosophical when it's not happening to you.
  • "Are you going to try again?" When someone's grieving the loss of an unborn child, she doesn't really want to think about another just yet.
  • "At least you know you can get pregnant!" Right. But she also knows she can lose the baby. Not something she wants to be reminded of.

Do say...
  • "I'm so sorry to hear about what happened."
  • "I'm here if you feel like talking about it."
  • "Can I watch your kids or run errands for you? I'd like to help in any way I can."

When Someone Gets Divorced

My friend Sarah separated from her husband when their son was 4, and she was stunned when a casual acquaintance reacted to the news with a cluck of the tongue. "She said, 'Oh, your poor kid' -- as if I hadn't thought of him in all of this!" When Katie Allison Granju, of Knoxville, Tennessee, first told people she was parting with her husband after three kids and 13 years of marriage, a clueless friend asked, "Have you considered counseling?"

The common thread in these reactions is the assumption that a friend who's getting divorced is overlooking something. But odds are that she's been considering this move carefully for a long time. No matter how resolved she is about her decision, though, a divorce still brings out all sorts of feelings: anger, guilt, shame, sometimes even a sense of relief. "The best thing you can do is listen," says Randi E. Platt, a psychologist in private practice in Philadelphia. "Emotions run high when a marriage breaks up, and your friend needs someone who can help her deal with her feelings."

Don't say...
  • "Was he cheating?" Never press for details -- it's none of your business unless your friend needs to vent.
  • "Did you think about how this will affect the children?" Yes, your friend has probably thought about this far more than you can imagine.
  • "My parents got divorced when I was a kid, and I used to wish they could get back together." Your story is not relevant -- unless your friend explicitly asks for your memories on this subject.

Do say...
  • "I just called to see how you're doing and to tell you I'm sorry that you've been going through such a difficult time."
  • "How are you holding up? Let me know if you'd like to meet for coffee."
  • "You're going to get through this."

When a Friend Is Infertile

When Andrea Young, of Richardson, Texas, grappled with infertility she heard all the classics: "Just relax and you'll get pregnant." "My brother's friend's wife took vitamin E and finally got pregnant." "You could always adopt." She got so used to these kinds of comments that she almost became numb to them. "But some really stung, especially ones that implied infertility was a weakness on my part," Young recalls.
If you haven't dealt with infertility, it's hard to understand how consuming and emotionally challenging it can be. Someone who can't conceive often finds it tough to be around pregnant women and new moms -- and her feelings of self-esteem are probably at an all-time low. Infertility can put a strain on a couple's relationship, and the medical treatment itself causes emotional ups and downs. "It's important to be extremely sensitive to how difficult the situation is for your friend," Platt says. If she wants to share details of the ordeal, be available to listen. But if she doesn't offer information, don't pry. Above all, take cues from her about what kind of situations she can -- and can't -- handle.
Don't say...
  • "I just know you're going to get pregnant soon!" Actually, you don't.
  • "That's awful. You must be so depressed." It's presumptuous to assume you know how someone else feels. And a person in crisis doesn't need to be reminded of her pain.
  • "My husband just looks at me and I get pregnant!" Talk about bragging -- and rubbing salt in the wound.
Do say...
  • "I'm so sorry you're going through this. I wish I could help."
  • "I'd love to hear about what's happening, if you feel comfortable talking about it."
  • "Call me anytime if you need to vent."

When a Friend's Child Is Very Ill

Melinda Wenner Bradley, of Glen Mills, Pennsylvania, was shocked by how one woman reacted when she told her that her toddler had cancer. "She said, 'Aren't you terrified?' right there in front of my older child," Bradley recalls. "What I wanted to say was, 'No, I don't have time to be terrified. And even if I was, I wouldn't want my kids to know.'" Now that her son's prognosis is good, she encounters people who talk about how relieved she must be that his illness is over. "I know they mean well," Bradley says. "But the reality is, cancer isn't ever over. He'll be undergoing tests every few months for years."

People are usually eager to help when a friend is dealing with a medical crisis. But unless offers of help are specific, they can be overwhelming. Since your pal will be spending a lot of time at doctors' appointments and the hospital, let her know exactly what you can do: pick up her other kids at school, deliver a hot meal for the family, or send an e-mail update to friends she doesn't have time to contact. She'll need emotional support as well, so tell her you're available if she wants to talk. And make sure she knows that your offer to help is not a one-time thing. "Be there for her on an ongoing basis," Douglas says. "It takes months -- even years -- for people to come to terms with a major event like a seriously ill child. Your friend will appreciate having your support over the long term."

Don't say...
  • "Oh, I know someone who had something like that, and he's fine." Unless it was exactly like that, please don't share. Also, never talk about kids who had a similar diagnosis and didn't make it.
  • "I hope it's not terminal." Not something your friend wants to contemplate right now. And if she does, let her bring it up.
  • "Is it contagious?" You may be concerned about your own kids, but this question sounds selfish and insensitive.

Do say...
  • "I'm sorry to hear your son is in the hospital. I'd be happy to pick your daughter up from soccer practice so you'll have one less thing to worry about."
  • "I've been thinking about you a lot. How are you doing?" Then make sure you really listen. There might not be anything more to say.
  • "I can sit with you, do some online research -- whatever you need, I'll do it." Don't be afraid to throw out ideas. She might be too freaked out to think straight.

When Someone Says Something Hurtful to You

If you're going through a crisis, and someone makes a remark you find inappropriate, you have every right to cut the encounter short, says Susan O'Doherty, PhD, a psychologist in Brooklyn. Say something like, "Thanks for your concern," and then change the subject. Or, if you're comfortable being more direct, say, "I'm sorry, I don't really feel like talking about this."

Copyright © 2008 Meredith Corporation. Used with permission from the July 2008 issue of Parents magazine.

October 1, 2011

A tooth is just a tooth...

Until it falls out!! Kj has a new empty space for another "adult tooth". And boy oh boy was she excited when it unexpectedly fell out. She had set up her tooth fairy pillow earlier this week...and now she got to use it again.
Thank you, mmmcrafts for the tooth pillow tutorial  !!

Finally a mobile app!

Now I can post on the go. :) because posts like these are OH-so important; right?!

Like us eating at CiCi's...
(well, she mainly likes to lick the Mac and cheese pizza. Lol)