February 12, 2010

I'm Ba-aaack!

I'm super excited to announce that Just Like Mommy, home childcare, will be back in business starting March 1st!

It has been a very tough decision for me to make. But after approx 60+ days of praying and weighing out options and pros and cons, I made my decision. Everything is falling into place, confirming that it was the right decision. :)

So far, I have one full time baby already signed up to start March 1st. She lives only 5 houses down from me -on my street. Another mom called yesterday, wanting to enroll her daughter --she lives right next to me (we share the patch of grass on the side of our driveways)! She wants her daughter to start March 1st. One of Chris's friends wants her son to start some time in March . . .

God is amazing! I NEVER thought I'd want to do home childcare again --due to loving my current position as a teen program director/assistant unit director, at the Boys and Girls Club, in Boerne, and loving working outside of my home. However, the fact that I barely have time to spend with KJ during the week, plays a major role in the decision to come back home. I have never been comfortable with being away from her. She is my child, my precious little life. I feel completely responsible for caring for her in every way possibly needed. I have never felt that I would be okay with working while she is being cared for by someone else. It turned into that very quickly and I was letting the joys of promotions, titles, and building a great flowing organization distract what I have always believed in about being a mother. I convinced myself that if Kryssa grew up seeing a successful mommy that she would some day appreciate that (and somehow be okay with not seeing her mommy M-F, and even some weekends?!). However, I see that it is partially, if not fully, the reason she acts out and craves attention. Now that I realized how I had rearranged my priorities, I have changed my 'career' around before it became too late. She's still very young and needs her parents to play a major role in her life. She needs to know and feel that she is most important to us --not our careers, not money, not corporate titles, etc. I was sooooo busy focusing on what I could do for the kids and families at the BGC, that I started pushing my personal/family priorities aside. On most days, I get home after she's already asleep. On some weekends, I have had to tell her to play quietly in her room because I had to work and meet deadlines. Even when she does have the opportunity to go to work with me, it's been on days that she is off from school but I still have to work; and I would, again, have to tell her to go stay with her group because "mommy is at work and has a lot to get done before we go home..."

I never wanted to be "that" mom. I know a lot of families that have a great system with both parents working. I don't think that moms should not work outstide of the home --however, for ME, it just isn't what I know my heart desires for my family. I'm thankful to God for the time that I have had at the BGC. However, I am more thankful for the opportunity to come back home. :)

It has been tough because so many wonderful things are finally happening at work. The club and community is actually "flowing" now. On Wednesday, I had an amazing time, with a group of ten 4th-6th graders, touring the South Texas Blood and Tissue Center. Now I know I wouldn't have had that opportunity while watching babies . . . lol, can you see me at a place like that with babies on my hips?! ha! I'm also taking a group of 6th-8th graders to the Rodeo on the 20th -to see Xtreme Bull Riding, the concert that follows, walk the grounds, eat some of that nasty yummy food (lol), and ride some carnival rides. So, between, curriculum, voluteers, field trips, a working data base system, recycling, and a full functioning 'front entrance' . . . I'm going to miss seeing all the sweat, tears, and hard work, pay off. The community finally knows that we exist and aren't just for 'low income families'. The club is finally looked at an educational after-school program!

I guess I should be grateful that I got to see it bloom at least a little before leaving...

I just really hope that it continues --not saying that it won't run without me. BUT another reason I needed to make a change is because my work load seemed to keep growing and I kept pushing myself to excel and help the club and the community. I've already been told that my work load will have to be "shared" with the new Teen Director ... I can totally believe it!

I love the kids, the families, the opportunity to take an idea and 'run with it' -and actually see it succeed . . . I LOVE what I currently do. BUT I know that it's time to shift my focus, time and energy, back home for my family, MY community . . . I'm praying that I have great opportunities to take an idea and see where it goes --but on a different scale, for babies -before going into school. For the families that really want to trust that there child is receiving loving care, just as they would from their own mommy --and that it won't break their bank either. :) It's my heart's desire to make a difference in lives . . . I trust God and His plan for me. I'm excited to share love with babies and help build their little hearts and lives . . . WITHOUT being away from my own little life, Kryssa.

March 1st, here I come!! I'm definately counting down the days . . .


I have to share that I had an appt on Wednesday and the sono showed that the large cyst is completely gone!! Praise God!! The day I had lupron prescribed, the doc couldn't even see my left ovary due to the large cyst that had grown on it.

So, with the cyst now gone, and the absense of endo pain, we are happy that the Lupron treatments are working!!! :D

It's been amazing! Really! Everyday movements and activities that are overlooked by the majority, used to cause me a lot of pain. Now, I feel like I'm living a whole new life. It's literally a difference like Night and Day. I haven't used any pain killers since Jan 13, or so. Before starting Lupron, I was using them about three times a day.

Everyday, I find myself doing something super cautiously, to avoid triggering pains (because it was that way for years). When I remember that I'm pain free I laugh inside for being so used to avoiding certain activities and movements...and I happily give it a try -and I haven't been stopped by pain! It's wonderful! I'm so thankful to God --for my doctor and for a treatment that actually works. :D

February 2, 2010

Lupron. Day 19

Well, I've been waiting to share such wonderful news . . . I'M PAIN FREE!!! I haven't had even a pinch of pain for several days now. PLUS, the major pain that I was experiencing -what got me to go back to my doc for an update - all that has been gone for a while now!!! Praise God!!

I used to think, only a miracle would give me pain free days. Well, call it a miracle, call it Lupron . . . call it whatever you'd like, I call it 'God is AMAZING'!!! :D I have not felt this good -pain free- in years. I can't even really describe it. If you could see how I SHINE (and tear up) when I talk about being pain free, then you might understand a glimpse of what I'm truly experiencing.

I'm sooooo thankful to God. I had no idea I would be able to experience pain-free days. Oh, how I'm sooooooo grateful to God. That's all I think, over and over, in my head, everytime I realize how wonderful I have felt . . . "Oh, Thank you Lord!!"

Hot flashes? Not too bad. I just feels, at times, that I'm wearing a sweater during the middle of summer. lol But nothing that I can't tolerate or that I'm not willing to deal with in exchange for feeling so wonderful (pain-free).

mood swings? Well, I'm a female -aren't they to be expected anyway?! haha *okay, I'll admit, they are way more dramatic. lol. but I really am doing my best to keep them under control and 'normal'.

hair loss? it's annoying. I'm shedding like a labrador. haha! It's clogging up the bath tub and starting to coat the bathroom floor (just from my morning hair-do's) <---I have no idea if that is grammatically correct?!)

weight change? I actually seem to be loosing some 'shape' here and there. I think it's a balance/mixture of other meds I'm on. One says weight gain and two others say weight loss as side affects. So, it's balancing itself out. *we just froze our gym membership again and I think we are going to get a wii fit very soon. So, I'll be trying to start some kind of home routine to stay fit and healthy. My poor body needs something consistant for once.

My life? Well, we all know that LIFE isn't always easy. Sometimes the wind carries you to new beginnings . . . and other times, you just have to bare the sting of fighting to stand against the storm! It takes some serious hard work, a lot of prayer, and staying focused on God and His will/plan . . . I do know that His reward is much greater than the ones I try to create on my own.

until the next blog . . .