I've missed blogging. I don't make time for it these days. I'd much rather eat, nap, clean, shower, or just sit, while the twins are occupied or napping.
So, a quick update:
KJ is still 9, counting down to her August birthday, to celebrate her first double-digit birthday. She's enjoying really cool sciences classes this summer. No soccer this summer. (we missed out on the registration date). She's enjoying her summer so far --although, on days with more chores and responsibilities, she very quickly lets me know that I'm making it "the worst summer ever!". eh. It's what every mother lives for, right?! ha!
Showing posts with label Birthdays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Birthdays. Show all posts
September 30, 2012
Goodbye Twenties. Hello Thirties!
I still have to double check this is real life! I don't feel like it's time to be thirty, lol. But it is what it is, right? I had really been excited to turn thirty. For me, it meant starting a new decade and for some reason that excited me. However, the last day of my twenties became an emotional day of great memories: celebrating 10 wedding anniversaries, auditioning for American Idol, having our baby, buying our first house, paying off our car, having crazy pets over the years (a ferret, 4 cats, 5 dogs, many fish, one that was approximately seven years old before it passed, and KJ's hamster), fostering a wonderful teenager, traveling, watching our 'little one' grow up, and many, many more!
Because I had to start my ivf injections on my birthday, I tried my absolute best to have as much fun as possible and keep my mind busy with making new memories. I woke up at 7:30am, to color my 'white streak' purple (I literally have a skunk-looking streak of white hair, started when I was 15, right in the front of my hairline). Then I went on my way to my favorite breakfast place, to meet my mom, sister and close girlfriends. Parking, at this restaurant, is always an incredible challenge. So, what did I do? I parked on the non-paved part because I knew I could squeeze in past a shrub. Did I forget to mention that it had rained all day the day before and it had rained all night too —oh yeah, I did. I wasn't worried about mud because I had decided to wear my fun rain boots. However, my mom, on the other hand, was somehow convinced, by her wonderful birthday girl, to park in the same area. Her car is much bigger and much more front-heavy (I have a Focus and she has an Impala). The spot that was available was just slightly on a downward slant —and I do mean slight. And if you haven't guessed it already . . . she ended up stuck in the mud! :( I felt horrible because that is exactly why she did NOT want to try parking in that spot. But I told her it would be fine. Um, I know now that I'm not an expert with mud! ha! She tried for a while and then I gave it my try at driving her car out of nasty mud. There was a very nice man that saw us and offered his help (verbal direction and making sure I wouldn't hit anything on my way out). Approximately 20 minutes later, we were out of the mud!!! (and covered in it too! lol). We were cleaned up (enough) once it was time to sit with friends, for brunch. I had a wonderful time chatting with everyone.
After brunch, we spontaneously went to paint some pottery. My sis had a great idea, for everyone to paint on one "birthday plate" together. My girlfriend bought the pottery piece, and we all painted it together. It was so much fun!! My sister painted a hippo, one of my favorite things, in the bowl and everything looks perfect. I'm so excited to pick it up on Wednesday. (I'll post pics of the finished product)
From there, everyone said their goodbyes and KJ got to ride with grandma, while Chris and I had 30 mins, or so, of quiet time together. It was wonderful getting to sit and eat some frozen yogurt with him; however, because things calmed down, all we could really talk about was ivf, our injections being only hours away, and the possibility of actually getting to have a second baby. As nice as it is to daydream and try to plan ahead, the reality of this journey is that we just have no way of knowing what the end results will be —but sometimes it's just comforting planning ahead, for a newborn baby...
I had a quick decision to make, go home and rest before our first injections OR go out to another restaurant to celebrate again... I chose Pappadeaux! :) This allowed me to celebrate with our dads and with my hubby (since the brunch was just for the gals). On the way to the restaurant, Chris stopped and bought a carrot cake, my favorite! And once we parked at the restaurant, he got busy decorating the cake for me...
Celebrating my 30th birthday was wonderful. It was toned down and very simple —yet extremely memorable! It was nothing like I had originally planned (I had thought to do something big and extreme, since it was my thirtieth. but due to IVF my plans had to change and I was, eventually, okay with that.) but it was so perfect!
*I knew I'd have to really work on not crying all day for everything and nothing at the same time. My mom gave me such an amazing gift: A shadow box with some very memorable items from when I was first born. I held it together as best as I could . . . watery eyes and a lump in the throat —but I managed to not break down and cry. And then one of my bffs (of 14 yrs) handed me another gift: in the gift bag was a super cute purse and a small bottle of lotion. I see "Lamaze" on the bottle and think to myself, "I know I've seen this brand somewhere; what is this?" And then I read: "Belly Cream". There wasn't a single dry eye at our table (even a girl friend of mine that, seriously, NEVER cries, lol!). My friend explained that she truly believes that I will have a baby in my belly some day and that lotion will come in handy... ;) What a sweet and thoughtful gift. Later, at dinner, my father-in-law gave me a gift bag with my favorite box of Godiva chocolate and a small bag of Godiva truffles!! Even though I can't have chocolate right now, I look forward to being able to break into that box and bag and enjoy a small taste in maybe a month or so! :)
So this is what life feels like at thirty? ... it feels amazing!
Because I had to start my ivf injections on my birthday, I tried my absolute best to have as much fun as possible and keep my mind busy with making new memories. I woke up at 7:30am, to color my 'white streak' purple (I literally have a skunk-looking streak of white hair, started when I was 15, right in the front of my hairline). Then I went on my way to my favorite breakfast place, to meet my mom, sister and close girlfriends. Parking, at this restaurant, is always an incredible challenge. So, what did I do? I parked on the non-paved part because I knew I could squeeze in past a shrub. Did I forget to mention that it had rained all day the day before and it had rained all night too —oh yeah, I did. I wasn't worried about mud because I had decided to wear my fun rain boots. However, my mom, on the other hand, was somehow convinced, by her wonderful birthday girl, to park in the same area. Her car is much bigger and much more front-heavy (I have a Focus and she has an Impala). The spot that was available was just slightly on a downward slant —and I do mean slight. And if you haven't guessed it already . . . she ended up stuck in the mud! :( I felt horrible because that is exactly why she did NOT want to try parking in that spot. But I told her it would be fine. Um, I know now that I'm not an expert with mud! ha! She tried for a while and then I gave it my try at driving her car out of nasty mud. There was a very nice man that saw us and offered his help (verbal direction and making sure I wouldn't hit anything on my way out). Approximately 20 minutes later, we were out of the mud!!! (and covered in it too! lol). We were cleaned up (enough) once it was time to sit with friends, for brunch. I had a wonderful time chatting with everyone.
After brunch, we spontaneously went to paint some pottery. My sis had a great idea, for everyone to paint on one "birthday plate" together. My girlfriend bought the pottery piece, and we all painted it together. It was so much fun!! My sister painted a hippo, one of my favorite things, in the bowl and everything looks perfect. I'm so excited to pick it up on Wednesday. (I'll post pics of the finished product)
From there, everyone said their goodbyes and KJ got to ride with grandma, while Chris and I had 30 mins, or so, of quiet time together. It was wonderful getting to sit and eat some frozen yogurt with him; however, because things calmed down, all we could really talk about was ivf, our injections being only hours away, and the possibility of actually getting to have a second baby. As nice as it is to daydream and try to plan ahead, the reality of this journey is that we just have no way of knowing what the end results will be —but sometimes it's just comforting planning ahead, for a newborn baby...
I had a quick decision to make, go home and rest before our first injections OR go out to another restaurant to celebrate again... I chose Pappadeaux! :) This allowed me to celebrate with our dads and with my hubby (since the brunch was just for the gals). On the way to the restaurant, Chris stopped and bought a carrot cake, my favorite! And once we parked at the restaurant, he got busy decorating the cake for me...
Celebrating my 30th birthday was wonderful. It was toned down and very simple —yet extremely memorable! It was nothing like I had originally planned (I had thought to do something big and extreme, since it was my thirtieth. but due to IVF my plans had to change and I was, eventually, okay with that.) but it was so perfect!
*I knew I'd have to really work on not crying all day for everything and nothing at the same time. My mom gave me such an amazing gift: A shadow box with some very memorable items from when I was first born. I held it together as best as I could . . . watery eyes and a lump in the throat —but I managed to not break down and cry. And then one of my bffs (of 14 yrs) handed me another gift: in the gift bag was a super cute purse and a small bottle of lotion. I see "Lamaze" on the bottle and think to myself, "I know I've seen this brand somewhere; what is this?" And then I read: "Belly Cream". There wasn't a single dry eye at our table (even a girl friend of mine that, seriously, NEVER cries, lol!). My friend explained that she truly believes that I will have a baby in my belly some day and that lotion will come in handy... ;) What a sweet and thoughtful gift. Later, at dinner, my father-in-law gave me a gift bag with my favorite box of Godiva chocolate and a small bag of Godiva truffles!! Even though I can't have chocolate right now, I look forward to being able to break into that box and bag and enjoy a small taste in maybe a month or so! :)
So this is what life feels like at thirty? ... it feels amazing!
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| finished pottery piece! |
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| Fun birthday present! |
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| Painting pottery |
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| delicious chocolates for future enjoyment! |
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| More Godiva chocolates for future enjoyment! |
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| My hippo cake from my hubby! |
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| Carrot cake made by mom! (my favorite!) |
September 19, 2012
Happy Birthday to me!
It's what every birthday girl dreams of . . . IVF INJECTIONS! No? That's not right? Oh . . . Well, it's actually quite an interesting ending and new beginning. It's the end of my 20's. Ten years ago, on my birthday, we were mourning the loss of my grandmother. And now, ten years later, with God as our strength, we are beginning this new journey of trying to bring a new little life into the world. I am a bit bummed out that I will probably be dwelling on the thought of my first two injections allllll day long, instead of being able to relax and enjoy celebrating the first day of my 30's! (we were told to do the injections between 7pm and 10pm)
Now, don't get me wrong. I was so excited when I heard that we could start before October. Then she put the calendar in front of me . . . and I saw
We learned all about the different injections (how to clean everything, which size needles to use, how to mix some of the medications, and the scariest and most uncomfortable part —how to give the injections (even an intramuscular one, Yikes!!). I think I'm losing sleep over this. :( I just don't know about two injections per day, given by my hubby, and then some days will be more than two —and for something like 15 days or so (if I understood correctly). I keep telling myself, "Well, if you want a baby, Michelle, you just have to suck it up and get it done!". Learning about injections and medicines, and signing consent forms, stepped it up a bit for us —made it much more real.
Now, don't get me wrong. I was so excited when I heard that we could start before October. Then she put the calendar in front of me . . . and I saw
We learned all about the different injections (how to clean everything, which size needles to use, how to mix some of the medications, and the scariest and most uncomfortable part —how to give the injections (even an intramuscular one, Yikes!!). I think I'm losing sleep over this. :( I just don't know about two injections per day, given by my hubby, and then some days will be more than two —and for something like 15 days or so (if I understood correctly). I keep telling myself, "Well, if you want a baby, Michelle, you just have to suck it up and get it done!". Learning about injections and medicines, and signing consent forms, stepped it up a bit for us —made it much more real.
There were moments of complete seriousness, and then, just because we are the way we are... there were many moments of laughter. Deciding to freeze any viable embryos that won't be transferred was a very serious discussion between us. Deciding who gets to keep the embryos if one of us dies or divorces was a very comical conversation. I think it was so awkward to have to make some of those decisions —but I do understand the importance.
So, now, all we are waiting for is the delivery of our medications and for September 29th to come around. I've said goodbye to my herbal supplements (an easy change), caffeine (a little more thought has to go into this one), alcohol (eh, not toooo hard), and even to chocolate (the absolute toughest change so far!).
My absolute favorite part of the slideshow, overview and tips, was when it explained the importance of getting pampered during this time! It mentioned massages, manicures, pedicures, and several other ways of being pampered that I love! :) I hope that Chris really paid close attention to that portion of the class!!
Oh! and something else that I have to "change" is my plan on getting a tattoo. I had been planning this out for a while —doing my research and drawing out what I want, making it perfect. My mom, on the other hand, basically freaked out about the thought of me getting a tattoo. It cracks me up how serious she is about not wanting me to get a tattoo, or even mention the word "tattoo" while around her. lol! (yup, that's my mom!). So, it was suggested that I wait until the end of the IVF cycle to go for my tat...my mom is ecstatic!! hahaha!!
Here's to turning 30 and our first IVF cycle! :) (oh me oh my!)
September 8, 2011
I'm fertile . . . just not fertile enough.
I still cry. I still mope. I still wish it was me and not just everyone else around me. I still stare at my belly in the mirror and try to remember what it was like carrying a baby in there. I still feel every gas bubble and daydream that someday it will be movement of a baby in there. lol (I admit, that one is pretty pathetic. haha) We are right about to hit 17 months of ttc. This was when I started to lose hope and give up the last time we tried to conceive —we stopped at 18 months... I don't feel that I've lost hope this time. I do have my moments where I try to accept the possibility that I may never have the chance to conceive another child; "That's just silly!" I tell myself over and over and over again. "Maybe just not in the plan for my 20's...?"
Just to top off all the wonderful negative hpt results: I gave in to the urge to test. I tested on what was supposed to be my day one. Listen to me when I say as soon as I put the cap back on the hpt, my day one started. I'm not even kidding. It was soooooo unkind.
So, today is day 3 and I'm staying optimistic. :) I'm focusing on the wonderful children in my life and my adorable little Roxy-poo (which by the way, we celebrated her 3rd birthday this past weekend —we bought her some doggie ice cream cups. It was adorable; we sang happy birthday and gave her the yummy treat. She gratefully trotted off, with the cup in her mouth, to enjoy her ice cream outside!).
. . . and life goes on.
Happy bday roxy
We've had her for exactly one year now, September 1, 2010. She is now three years old :)
She enjoyed her first doggie ice-cream as her birthday celebration treat. :)
August 22, 2011
My glass half full
Three out of four are currently sleeping. I have a wee bit of time to get a blog post in. :) Those two sentences alone make me happy —hee hee.
First, here's my update:
Since my last post —God has carried my heart to a much calmer place. I am strong. I am loved. I am able. :) What surrounds me will not define me. I have choices, and for now, I choose to fervently wait on God. I trust, in every way, that all areas of my life are right where I belong right now —to push me where I need to go . . . to what I need to become.
Personal goals —I was on my way to a 5k and then it quickly got taken away from me. :( I started running in May and had worked my way up to 2+ miles 3-4 times a week. I had even started to enjoy the early morning, 5:30am, run --watching the sun come up and having some extra quiet time to myself. Now, I am sad to say that I haven't run for a month now. Today is exactly four weeks since my last run --the day I pushed my body just a little too much. My shins are still in recovery mode. The doc says I could have possibly fractured my shins (micro fractures). I'm supposed to be working on getting the swelling back down and strengthening them back up. The doc says that I will be able to run again —just not any time soon. Oh, how I miss it. And right now it seems as though EVERYONE on facebook is running . . . except for me. :( So, I've revised my birthday wish list; instead of new cool toe shoes for running, I replaced that request with a new extra extra thick yoga mat and a door frame pull-up bar. I will start a new routine of yoga and pilates in order to maintain the weight loss that I had worked so hard for.
TTC —still waiting to see two pink lines :)
Everyone and their mother A lot of people around us are pregnant or have conceived and already had their baby. I am actually back to handling the annoying negatives quite well (if I may say so myself). I didn't cry about the negative last month; nor did I cry when Aunt Flow unexpectedly stopped by for a visit. That's progress! I must say that I have been refreshed with new blessings through all of this. A 9 wk old baby girl enrolled and started a week and a half ago, joining the 8 month old that has been coming since he, was only 8wks old! Caring for and loving these babies (and 3 yr old) brings me such joy. I am so blessed to be trusted with these little precious lives. I anxiously wait for the day that I can experience these moments with my own precious blessing (a second time) —so for now, I am thankful for the many little blessings that have come my way.
KJ —our little Kryssa Joyce turned 7 on August 10th. We celebrated with just family, us four and grandparents, on the 10th and then KJ got to celebrate with her friends on the 13th. It was a wonderful celebration! Just seeing all these little friends, most of which we have known their entire life, "hang out", laugh, and create memories —absolutely priceless. Her theme was, of course, Puppy/Dog and she still talks about how it was the best party ever. hee hee The simplest things are sometimes the best. :) Our fall homeschooling session has begun. It's quite different than last semester but I will find what works best, again, and keep moving forward.
KitKat (aka Miss K) —Her family nickname was pickle --but now that she is a freshman, I figure one nickname would be better (she was given the name kitkat by her school friends). She has been here with us 'full time' since around February and "officially" moved in during the week of May 8th! Unfortunately, we still are waiting on the "legal stuff" to be finalized and then we will work towards adoption. Volleyball season started about 3 weeks ago and I can honestly say that I never thought I would truly enjoy being a "soccer Volleyball Mom" --but here it is folks . . . I am loving every moment!! :) Now, of course, fighting through traffic is never "fun". But I am truly happy to support her during her games, scrimmages, tournaments, and even practices as often as I can. I already lost a good portion of my voice just from cheering her on this past Friday and Saturday. I tell her I am going to buy a SHOUT cone (from Party city) and decorate it just for her --I will proudly use it every chance I get. hee hee. Soon, my title will change to "Cheer Mom" --hee hee I'll have to quickly learn how to make hair bows and cute hair styles. (and whatever else cheer moms have to do).
This summer was definitely one to remember. We had several road trips and numerous adventures as a new family of four . . . quite different! I love the family that we have become. I am so grateful for God's blessings. Now that the school schedule is back in play, I should be able to sit and enjoy some blog time every now and then (as long as the children continue to nap all together).
First, here's my update:
Since my last post —God has carried my heart to a much calmer place. I am strong. I am loved. I am able. :) What surrounds me will not define me. I have choices, and for now, I choose to fervently wait on God. I trust, in every way, that all areas of my life are right where I belong right now —to push me where I need to go . . . to what I need to become.
Personal goals —I was on my way to a 5k and then it quickly got taken away from me. :( I started running in May and had worked my way up to 2+ miles 3-4 times a week. I had even started to enjoy the early morning, 5:30am, run --watching the sun come up and having some extra quiet time to myself. Now, I am sad to say that I haven't run for a month now. Today is exactly four weeks since my last run --the day I pushed my body just a little too much. My shins are still in recovery mode. The doc says I could have possibly fractured my shins (micro fractures). I'm supposed to be working on getting the swelling back down and strengthening them back up. The doc says that I will be able to run again —just not any time soon. Oh, how I miss it. And right now it seems as though EVERYONE on facebook is running . . . except for me. :( So, I've revised my birthday wish list; instead of new cool toe shoes for running, I replaced that request with a new extra extra thick yoga mat and a door frame pull-up bar. I will start a new routine of yoga and pilates in order to maintain the weight loss that I had worked so hard for.
TTC —still waiting to see two pink lines :)
KJ —our little Kryssa Joyce turned 7 on August 10th. We celebrated with just family, us four and grandparents, on the 10th and then KJ got to celebrate with her friends on the 13th. It was a wonderful celebration! Just seeing all these little friends, most of which we have known their entire life, "hang out", laugh, and create memories —absolutely priceless. Her theme was, of course, Puppy/Dog and she still talks about how it was the best party ever. hee hee The simplest things are sometimes the best. :) Our fall homeschooling session has begun. It's quite different than last semester but I will find what works best, again, and keep moving forward.
KitKat (aka Miss K) —Her family nickname was pickle --but now that she is a freshman, I figure one nickname would be better (she was given the name kitkat by her school friends). She has been here with us 'full time' since around February and "officially" moved in during the week of May 8th! Unfortunately, we still are waiting on the "legal stuff" to be finalized and then we will work towards adoption. Volleyball season started about 3 weeks ago and I can honestly say that I never thought I would truly enjoy being a "
This summer was definitely one to remember. We had several road trips and numerous adventures as a new family of four . . . quite different! I love the family that we have become. I am so grateful for God's blessings. Now that the school schedule is back in play, I should be able to sit and enjoy some blog time every now and then (as long as the children continue to nap all together).
September 22, 2010
::inhale...exhale:: Ah, blogerpy.
'blog therapy' that is...
Today's Wednesday. The part of the week where you know you're so close to Friday —you're going to make it!! Yet, you have to just remember to breathe ...
TTC
I am on day 48 and I've had two negatives. Something needs to happen soon. Even if it's just another cycle to let me know my body hasn't shut down again. I'll be making a doc appointment soon —we just found out that our insurance covers IVF treatments (up to a certain amount) and we want to see what our next steps should be. I don't think he'll recommend IVF as the next step; I think he'll start me on clomid again first and then go from there. I think I'm okay with that now. I think I'd rather be emotional due to adding crazy hormones in my body (with the hopes of conceiving) rather than being crazy emotional due to the LACK of conceiving —AGAIN! :(
I'm tempted to find a support group. It's getting tough again. That's why I had originally thought to only try for 6 months and then stop for 6 months and then try again, and so on. I remember how hard it was back in 2007 (it seemed like, in that 18 month period of TTC, that EVERYONE and their momma conceived!! haha). It was super tough, emotionally, mentally, etc. But we decided to not stop trying and now I'm starting to feel it . . .
I know, I know, it's God's timing and He has the perfect plan for us . . . but I'm human and it's normal to feel what I've been feeling (so don't feel sorry for me and don't get worried about me). I just choose to blog because it's what works for me :). I figure, I'll share what I go through (to an extent), in case anyone is 1) curious, 2) experiencing the same situation, and 3) nosy!! hee hee. ;) I know I am. I'm always curious to read about people's life and their experiences they choose to share. So read away!! :)
KJ
KJ will be starting swim lessons on October 11. :) We are all very excited for that! I told her as soon as she learns how to swim we will put her on a swim team, if she' like. She was very excited about that. "Will we have races?" she asked . . . when I told her "yes", she got super excited and said she couldn't wait to learn how to swim! :)
We are a bit concerned about her school behavior. On average, she's been getting about two marks a week —ranging from talking to not getting her work done (the main main MAIN one being 'talking' --hmmm, I wonder where she gets that habit from?! ::blush::) She knows better and she always tells me what she needs to do differently (and she has consequences here at home --getting grounded, no tv, not video games, sometimes no dessert) yet, her actions don't show that she cares or really 'gets it'. :( Any suggestions would be FANTASTIC!!
Misc.
I don't know if I've mentioned it yet but we got a family dog. Her name is Roxy, a two year old weenie dog. :) She's a lot of fun but needs some basic manners (like no play biting and keep her scratchy paws of of people).
Optimistic view on not being pregnant yet: I've lost 5.5 lbs!! :) As long as I'm not pregnant, I might as well be shedding some unwanted weight.
Recently, I've been more of a homemaker rather than a home childcare provider. I've actually been okay with that. I have a part-timer and some drop-ins here and there but Chris and I figure I could organize and maintain the house while I'm not working with kiddos. I look forward to the days when I do have kids over and I also look forward to the days that I don't. So, I have a nice little balance right now. However, I sure am struggling with balancing out 'enjoying my me time' and tackling projects around the house... How do you do for you AND do work around the house and then still be 'mommy' at 3pm?! I know it's a lot of daytime hours, since I am back home, kid-free, by 7am or earlier (KJ asks to ride the bus so that gets me back home real early). I know I've been really down, lately, and I've been just trying to do 'fun' stuff to entertain myself and cheer myself up but at some point I need to get busy around here... any suggestions on how to balance it all out?!
My birthday is coming up soon. I'm hoping to do something really fun. However, I don't know if I want to do something really fun with just my hubby and daughter or with 'everyone' (meaning family and friends). We normally make it a whole birthday week and do different things with different people to celebrate our birthdays . . . I just don't know that I have many ideas this year.
Oh, last but not least, I've really really been enjoying, and getting the hang of knitting! :) I've even had a few hat orders already. Winter is coming and it's just perfect timing for my new knitting hobby! :)
See, blogging helps me feel better . . . can't I just sit and type out my thoughts and feelings alllll day long?! ;)
Today's Wednesday. The part of the week where you know you're so close to Friday —you're going to make it!! Yet, you have to just remember to breathe ...
TTC
I am on day 48 and I've had two negatives. Something needs to happen soon. Even if it's just another cycle to let me know my body hasn't shut down again. I'll be making a doc appointment soon —we just found out that our insurance covers IVF treatments (up to a certain amount) and we want to see what our next steps should be. I don't think he'll recommend IVF as the next step; I think he'll start me on clomid again first and then go from there. I think I'm okay with that now. I think I'd rather be emotional due to adding crazy hormones in my body (with the hopes of conceiving) rather than being crazy emotional due to the LACK of conceiving —AGAIN! :(
I'm tempted to find a support group. It's getting tough again. That's why I had originally thought to only try for 6 months and then stop for 6 months and then try again, and so on. I remember how hard it was back in 2007 (it seemed like, in that 18 month period of TTC, that EVERYONE and their momma conceived!! haha). It was super tough, emotionally, mentally, etc. But we decided to not stop trying and now I'm starting to feel it . . .
I know, I know, it's God's timing and He has the perfect plan for us . . . but I'm human and it's normal to feel what I've been feeling (so don't feel sorry for me and don't get worried about me). I just choose to blog because it's what works for me :). I figure, I'll share what I go through (to an extent), in case anyone is 1) curious, 2) experiencing the same situation, and 3) nosy!! hee hee. ;) I know I am. I'm always curious to read about people's life and their experiences they choose to share. So read away!! :)
KJ
KJ will be starting swim lessons on October 11. :) We are all very excited for that! I told her as soon as she learns how to swim we will put her on a swim team, if she' like. She was very excited about that. "Will we have races?" she asked . . . when I told her "yes", she got super excited and said she couldn't wait to learn how to swim! :)
We are a bit concerned about her school behavior. On average, she's been getting about two marks a week —ranging from talking to not getting her work done (the main main MAIN one being 'talking' --hmmm, I wonder where she gets that habit from?! ::blush::) She knows better and she always tells me what she needs to do differently (and she has consequences here at home --getting grounded, no tv, not video games, sometimes no dessert) yet, her actions don't show that she cares or really 'gets it'. :( Any suggestions would be FANTASTIC!!
Misc.
I don't know if I've mentioned it yet but we got a family dog. Her name is Roxy, a two year old weenie dog. :) She's a lot of fun but needs some basic manners (like no play biting and keep her scratchy paws of of people).
Optimistic view on not being pregnant yet: I've lost 5.5 lbs!! :) As long as I'm not pregnant, I might as well be shedding some unwanted weight.
Recently, I've been more of a homemaker rather than a home childcare provider. I've actually been okay with that. I have a part-timer and some drop-ins here and there but Chris and I figure I could organize and maintain the house while I'm not working with kiddos. I look forward to the days when I do have kids over and I also look forward to the days that I don't. So, I have a nice little balance right now. However, I sure am struggling with balancing out 'enjoying my me time' and tackling projects around the house... How do you do for you AND do work around the house and then still be 'mommy' at 3pm?! I know it's a lot of daytime hours, since I am back home, kid-free, by 7am or earlier (KJ asks to ride the bus so that gets me back home real early). I know I've been really down, lately, and I've been just trying to do 'fun' stuff to entertain myself and cheer myself up but at some point I need to get busy around here... any suggestions on how to balance it all out?!
My birthday is coming up soon. I'm hoping to do something really fun. However, I don't know if I want to do something really fun with just my hubby and daughter or with 'everyone' (meaning family and friends). We normally make it a whole birthday week and do different things with different people to celebrate our birthdays . . . I just don't know that I have many ideas this year.
Oh, last but not least, I've really really been enjoying, and getting the hang of knitting! :) I've even had a few hat orders already. Winter is coming and it's just perfect timing for my new knitting hobby! :)
See, blogging helps me feel better . . . can't I just sit and type out my thoughts and feelings alllll day long?! ;)
June 29, 2007
My hands smell soooo good!
The cheesecake is in the oven now . . . my hands have the lingering scent of 'Seattle's Best' Chocolate Toffee flavored coffee -Mmm! --and cocoa.
It has been a strange morning . . . I'm not used to being all alone in the house -it's a little akward. I have this feeling of "I have to go wake Kryssa up now." But then I remember, "Oh, no I don't. She's not here."
I miss her; even last night, as we were laying in bed, I kept on telling Chris, "I don't know how I'm going to handle our TEN day vacation (we leave in 5 days!) if I am missing her tonight --I'm with her all the time; I shouldn't be missing her over one night . . . I should be okay . . . ". But it was not planned for her to stay the night and I was about 5 mins away when my mom called to say that Kryssa was asleep and I could just leave her there --they'll take her to Austin too. So, I was really looking forward to hearing "Mommy! Hi Mommy!" --she's always super excited when I pick her up. So, that's probably why I've missed her the way I have -my heart was left waiting for her little smile and tiny voice to say "Mommy!" . . . I'm anxious to get to Austin and see her!! hee hee Only 5 more hours!!! LoL.
Now, don't get me wrong; I AM ENJOYING THIS TIME!!! She is one big ball of energy and a determined little 'explorer' --so, this is a wonderful, amazing, well needed, alone time.
So, I will drive to Austin all alone . . . I haven't done that since . . . hmmm . . . before I was marriend ('02) -maybe sometime when I was pregnant ('04)(although, I doubt I drove to Austin alone, while pregnant!) . . . .? --Either way, it's still been yeeears.
It's going to be a nice quite day!! YAY!! :D
Oh, my hands smell so yummy . . . I just hope the cheesecake turns out to taste as yummy as my hands smell. Ha ha, I hope this smell stays stuck on my skin all day --it's like walking down the coffee isle . . . Mmmm . . . .
It has been a strange morning . . . I'm not used to being all alone in the house -it's a little akward. I have this feeling of "I have to go wake Kryssa up now." But then I remember, "Oh, no I don't. She's not here."
I miss her; even last night, as we were laying in bed, I kept on telling Chris, "I don't know how I'm going to handle our TEN day vacation (we leave in 5 days!) if I am missing her tonight --I'm with her all the time; I shouldn't be missing her over one night . . . I should be okay . . . ". But it was not planned for her to stay the night and I was about 5 mins away when my mom called to say that Kryssa was asleep and I could just leave her there --they'll take her to Austin too. So, I was really looking forward to hearing "Mommy! Hi Mommy!" --she's always super excited when I pick her up. So, that's probably why I've missed her the way I have -my heart was left waiting for her little smile and tiny voice to say "Mommy!" . . . I'm anxious to get to Austin and see her!! hee hee Only 5 more hours!!! LoL.Now, don't get me wrong; I AM ENJOYING THIS TIME!!! She is one big ball of energy and a determined little 'explorer' --so, this is a wonderful, amazing, well needed, alone time.
So, I will drive to Austin all alone . . . I haven't done that since . . . hmmm . . . before I was marriend ('02) -maybe sometime when I was pregnant ('04)(although, I doubt I drove to Austin alone, while pregnant!) . . . .? --Either way, it's still been yeeears.
It's going to be a nice quite day!! YAY!! :D
Oh, my hands smell so yummy . . . I just hope the cheesecake turns out to taste as yummy as my hands smell. Ha ha, I hope this smell stays stuck on my skin all day --it's like walking down the coffee isle . . . Mmmm . . . .
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