November 17, 2008

ER, pain meds, "ugh"-ness, --Hey! We’ll stay strong . . . We are fighters!!

Well, a couple of days ago, I had thought to write an update and, well, I just didn't . . . I'm, once again, sick in bed, so I shall write...

I had beed doing just fine, recovering from surgery. The pain came back exactly one week after my surgery --but I just stuck w/ taking my pain meds and stayed on the road to recovery. I did, however have to go to see my doc that monday, last monday, bcause of the pains --he put me back on bc to help keep the cysts from forming again.

I went to my primary doc for my physical and lab results . . . turns out I have Hypothyroidism. :( Yet at the same time, :) , because it explains a lot of why I've been feeling the way I've been feeling for a very long time!! But that's just one more med I have to take every day . . . I'm looking forward to some positive results! :)

My Dad was released from the Hospital, and went back home, on Wednesday of last week (11/12). He had surgery on Monday Nov. 10th -they implanted an ICD (Implantable cardioverter-defibrillator) *some-what similar to a pace maker. He is still recovering at home.

My mom hasn't been to work, to take care of my dad. So, she's been under a significant amount of . . . stress, I'm sure. Then I find out that their car had to go into the shop on Friday, I believe because it doesn't work. So, they'll get the car back on Monday --But they are w/out a car! Not a very good scenario . . .

Kryssa went to the doc on Tuesday because she had this bark-like cough attack at 2am, Tuesday morning, and was struggling to breath! :( *sounded like she was gasping through a straw --that's how bad the wheezing was. :( After we soothed and calmed her, her breathing got better but we knew something wasn't right and we didn't want to experience that again -so we took her to see her doc. Turned out she had Croup! :( So, she's been on breathing treatments around the clock (every 3 hrs for the first 3 days and now every 6-8 hrs until Monday . . . and then as needed); she had three days of oral steroids (twice a day) and she's been on an antibiotic. She has been getting better. :) Chris was able to stay home w/ her on Wednesday and Thursday of last week and then she went to work w/ me on Friday.

My first day back at work, after about 2 1/2 weeks, was on Wed., Nov. 10. It felt strange being back --almost like my first day there again . . . I worked through my pains and used my pain meds when I absolutely needed to.

I was supposed to get my stitches taken out tomorrow . . . which I have been looking forward to for a while now. But after my horrible episode this morning, I don't I'll be going in tomorrow after all . . .

I woke up at 6:19am w/ horrible stomach pains (something I've experienced before). But out of nowhere it turned into something I have NEVER experienced before. I got sooooo nauseated and then the pains were soooooo bad that my body turned pale and I was FREEZING inside my skin!! My bones felt like they were covered in ice!! Yet, my shirt and entire body was soaked w/ sweat! :( I panicked and called out to Chris that he needed to wake up that I was going to pass out. I sat on the bathroom floor trying to hold myself up in a sitting position but then I started to lose feeling in my arms and legs . . . I told Chris he was going to need to call for an ambulance. I have NEVER EVER felt like that and knew that if I passed out, Chris would freak out not knowing what to do w/ a sleeping 4yr old and a wife passed out on the bathroom floor . . .

I just remember praying to God to help me get through it and I was breathing as deeply as i could --in through my nose, out through my mouth . . . a few sips of water here and there and then the freezing feeling slowly faded away and the sweating stopped. I put my shoes on and told Chris to hurry and take me to the ER before I had another one of those episodes.

We tried leaving Kryssa w/ my front neighbor but we couldn't find anyone available to pick her up . . . I didn't know what to do. i couldn't just up and go to the ER . . . i called my mom but she said my dad hadn't been doing well and she couldn't leave him alone --plus she didn't have a car (still in the shop). I called Monica but she had to be at Church at 10am. I had forgotten that it was Sunday! I was soooo disoriented i really thought it was a weekday. I remember thinking to myself, "you're going to church this morning?! What's going on at church this early in the morn?!" ha ha. Well, then Chris called his dad but he said that he was up all night sick w/ a cold and couldn't come to watch kryssa!!! GEEZ! it was nuts. So, we just wrapped her up and took her w/ us. Chris dropped me off and then on his way home he got a call from my mom that he could take her to their house and they would watch her so he could be there w/ me.

I got to the ER around 7:45am this morning. I had no idea what was going on w/ me . . . the doc his initial exam and listened here and there and tapped here and there and when he got to my gallbladder, he told me to take a deep breath in and then he pushed! AHH! I just yelped out and started crying! it hurt sooo much and then he said that it seems like a gallbladder attack. I just broke down in tears because 3 days after my surgery in Jan. 08, I went into the hospital w/ similar symptoms and they thought it was my gallbladder then too!! I just thought to myself "TAKE IT OUT!! IF I DON'T NEEEEED IT, JUST PLEASE TAKE IT OUT!!!" well, after iv fluids, anti this and that medicine, and some morphine, I felt okay enough to just want to sleep. I started to feel much better. xrays and ultrasounds were done and everything came back healthy . . . so, the doc said that the only thing they can conclude is that it's "Gastroenteritis"
** " . . . also known as gastro, gastric flu, and stomach flu . . . is inflammation of the gastrointestinal tract, involving both the stomach and the small intestine . . .The inflammation is caused most often by infection with certain viruses, less often by bacteria or their toxins, parasites, or adverse reaction to something in the diet or medication . . . At least 50% of cases of gastroenteritis as foodborne illness are due to norovirus . . .Many different bacteria can cause gastroenteritis, including Salmonella, Shigella, Staphylococcus, Campylobacter jejuni, Clostridium, Escherichia coli, Yersinia, and others. Some sources of the infection are improperly prepared food, reheated meat dishes, seafood, dairy, and bakery products . . .inflammation of the large intestine, may also be present . . ." ** -

So after 4 hrs of meds, fluids, etc., I got to come home. Thank GOD that we went to the ER because I was able to come home feeling so much better than I did when I first woke up. And then I got several hrs of sleep. Once the morphine wore off, I woke up and realized how the meds had actually helped. Chris will be getting home soon w/ my narcotics and anti -this and that meds. :) I'm looking forward to another round of those so the pains, gurgles, and nausea will fade away so I can function better and get some good rest. I am on a clear liquid diet for today and then tomorrow i can eat some rice, breads, soups and other things . . . the doc said it shouldn't last more than 3 days since I didn't get tooo dehydrated. Thank God!

another thing I was told, while I was there, was that the pains that I have been dealing w/ since late 2006, the same ones that reappeared a week after the surgery . . . the pains that I thought would go away after the removal of the cysts and endometriosis . . . well, I was told that some endometriosis patients suffer w/ chronic pains due to scar tissue! :( "WHAT?! . . . NO!!!" is what I thought as i sat there crying and listening to him say that just because they remove the actual live tissue, I could still suffer w/ chronic pains due to the scar tissue that forms. He went on to say that there are no treatments for that and that endometriosis is a life-long battle for the majority of endometriosis patients (he says he has seen his sister suffer from it). The thing he did recommend is to talk w/ Dr. Ruiz (my obgyn) to get a referral to see a specialist for pain management . . . so that I could get the pain meds I need for relief --and to get the right pain meds that won't damage my organs, I guess is what he was also trying to say. Because the pain meds I am currently on , they work very well, but sometimes I need to double up on them (which I have the okay to do so) but there aren't any known long-terms affects from those meds but there might be something to offer better relief for longer periods throughout my day so I can still function and go about my norm --morphine was one that he mentioned . . . all that was NOT what I wanted to hear!! I mean, the only way to "treat" endometriosis is to go through surgery after surgery to remove the live tissue . . . but when that tissue forms, there is no way of knowing! Ultrasounds don't show it!! So, if I kill the pain all the time, how will I know when it starts getting worse meaning that I might need another surgery to remove it again?!?! you see what I mean? I can't tolerate the pain anymore --yet if I cover it up, will I go too long w/out knowing that I need another surgery?! ugh! Wow! That was jaw dropping -dreadful news. I just laid in the bed, after the doc left the room to order tests, and I sobbed and sobbed and cried to God about it . . . I don't ever want to question God . . . yet I do find myself questioning how to 'deal' and cope w/ these parts of my life :( BUT on the way home I reminded myself that I DO have good health. It might be painful and not AS healthy as the person next to me . . . BUT my grandmother suffered w/ pain from cancer and watching her suffer through that disease was so heartbreaking. I CAN stay positive through PCOD and Endometriosis. I know I am human and I can only handle so much . . . I allow myself to breakdown and cry and hurt and feel those emotions when needed --but I WILL continue to LOVE the life I have been given and I WILL continue to be so-ever thankful for the health that I DO have! :D Praise God for the child we were able to conceive and Praise God for my loving and supportive husband!! :D I couldn't ask for a better partner to help me through this . . .

*enough about that already! ha ha ;)

So, once again, I'll be home, in bed . . . w/ the exceptions of eating times for Kryssa ;)

And LAST but NOT least: Please pray for my uncle! My mom called to see how I was feeling and I heard 'something' in her voice and when I asked how dad was doing she said "he's doing better" . . . then I asked how she was doing and then that's when she told me that my Uncle went into the ER this morning (1am) w/ chest pains and pain in his left arm . . . He had a heart attack and needed two stints ( I believe they are called) -he had two arteries in his heart that were clogged. So, he is in the hospital, recovering from his heart attack and the stint surgery . . . our family is getting attacked left and right....Please, just keep my entire family in prayer. I don't know what else to expect anymore. I know that God is our source and I trust that He will help us through everything.

Well, that's the update.

Hope you are doing well. I would love to hear from you and any news you might be up for sharing.

--be blessed


November 5, 2008

recovery update, prayer’s needed for my dad’s health, watching history in the making, +3

I had my surgery yesterday morning . . .

It was strange, I remember getting to the OR (I guess it's called that -or is it SR "surgery room"?) and looking around. I remember the anesthesiologist asking me where I wanted to go on "vacation" -while I slept- and then I remember moving from one bed to another and then the next thing I remember is waking up feeling like I couldn't breathe -my throat was so swollen from having the tube down my throat. Then I reacted to the anesthesia and my whole body was trembling out of control -like an adrenaline rush or major loss of blood, like shock almost . . . they had to put a 'porta-heater' over me and they wrapped my entire body (head and all) in warm blankets. They were instructing me to breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth . . .

I heard a nurse tell another that she has never known anyone to wake up so soon after surgery. I woke up in 20 minutes! Last time it took me about an hour. I think I was just looking forward to that exact moment for the last several days -that moment when I wake up and know it's all over and that I would start feeling better from that point on!

So, the doc cleared away the golf ball-size cyst and then their was another significantly large one on my other ovary along w/ some smaller ones. Then I heard what I had been so afraid to hear . . . I have endometriosis. :( My ovaries were attached to my abdominal wall -not where they belong!! (no wonder I was in soooooo much pain and just not well anymore!) So, my doc burned off that endometrial tissue and pulled/put my ovaries back where they belong . . . I'm just so sad about the news. I don't understand. It wasn't there 10 months ago --BUT I am thankful that I HAD to get the surgery again already/so soon because it could have gotten soooooooooo much worse! Even Chris is so sad about it because he has been on this "baby high" and we are both praying that this doesn't get any worse between now and the time that we start ttc again . . . We just might have to adopt sooner than we thought. Only God knows! --I don't know how more of these surgeries I can go through.

So, God willing my recovery continues well. I'm super sore and have several air bubbles putting a lot of pressure on my insides and right lung/rib cage. :( (from the gas that they put in my belly). But I'm moving a long quite a bit better than I did after the last one. I got a scare today because I started w/ a fever around 11:30am. Even after I took my prescribed tylenol (w/ codeine) and my temp still never got below 100.4! :( Thank God it's back down to between 99.0 - 99.4 tonight. The doc says he'll call tomorrow and if it's not down to 98.6 that I have to be admitted. God willing things continue to go well. I'll probably never want this surgery again if 2 out of 2 times I end up in the hospital w/ an infection because of this surgery . . .

Other news in our household is that we are now +3 for a while. :) My niece and her 2 baby girls have moved on in for a while. So, now we are a family of 6 (ages: 27, 26, 20, 4 and 2 yrs old, and one 9 month old) We'll have some great times and some trying times (I'm sure) -I'm very happy to have them here w/ us. :)

Also, if my bulletin didn't work w/ getting posted: My dad is in the hospital (we don't know for how long he'll be there). The CT results show that he had a mild stroke. He has lost some of his vision. :( My poor daddy! Please Please Please keep him and my mother (and my family) in your prayers. We greatly appreciate it.

I will post any other updates when I can.

October 31, 2008

some answers finally! -maybe

so all this pain, all this discomfort . . . we might have found out what's been causing it . . .

I saw a new doc this morning to see if she would have some new ideas on figuring out what's wrong w/ me. I took a pregnancy test -came back negative. Good to know my IUD is working! ;) She set up an ultrasound of all of my abdomen --all my organs! Yay for her for being so thorough. And then another ultrasound of my pelvic area. The new doc figured that since the GI specialist did all his part and didn't find anything and the gyno did all his part and didn't find anything -she would look at everything else. Sure made me feel like the problem would finally be located.

Well, feeling as miserable as I did, I really thought I was going to faint . . . I was freezing, light headed, pale, had purple fingernails, weak . . . well, laying on the table, having all my organs looked at, I talked w/ the sonographer about my history of ovarian cysts and infertility. After taking pictures of my liver, kidney, gallbladder, etc., she got down to checking my ovaries and said "yup your cysts sure did come back" --the she realized that my bladder wasn't full enough to get a good enough view of everything; so she sent me back out w/ a full glass of water (after already chugging down 34oz of water before my appt.). When I reeeeeeally needed to pee, I was ready to go get the rest of my "pics" done . . . that is when she said, "this has got to be what's causing your pain . . . " She turned the screen and showed me the largest ovarian cyst in my personal history of ovarian cysts!! :(

Once we were done, we got to talking about that cyst and she said that it measured to about golf ball size!! :( She also said, "I'm not a doctor but she'll probably send you back to your obgyn to get that removed...if that ruptures, it's going to be a lot more painful..." MORE PAIN?! I CAN'T IMAGINE EVEN MORE PAIN THAN THIS... :( *How my gyno overlooked a cyst that large? I have no idea . . . unless this is something that got out of hand after my last gyno ultrasound in July. There's no telling when this got out of hand or if it was really over looked!

The thought of another laparoscopy is very concerning to me. Yes, I want relief and yes I will go through w/ another one if it will relieve these pains. BUT I just pray to God that I it will go a LOT better than the last one (no week stay in the hospital due to an infection from the surgery . . .)

So, my doc, this morning, prescribed some pain killers, anti nausea medicine, and an antibiotic to help with all the symptoms I'm dealing w/. So, far, so good. The pain killer takes most of the pain away and gets me nice and sleepy -so, God willing, I'll get some good sleep and rest tonight. I'm tired of being woken by these annoying and excruciating/tremendous pains!!

In the name of Jesus, let this all end well...

Thank you for your words of encouragement and prayers. I truly appreciate it.

Oh and I had been looking forward to Halloween for months -because each year is so much fun as Kryssa is older each time and enjoys things differently each year . . . I will either be sitting on the porch handing out candy . . . or just laying up in bed as I have been since Tuesday :(. Chris will get to enjoy walking through the neighborhood trick or treating w/ the cutest little Share Bear Care Bear EVER!!! ha ha ha ;)

* I had even been excited to dress up to work . . . it's the first year I would have dressed up as an adult and it's not going to happen this year after all. :(

October 29, 2008

just when you think it’s all "peachy" and wonderful . . .

a bomb shell drops! :(

Geez! I have no idea what happened. All I know is that I'm still not feeling well and on top of that, I'm bummed out and emotional now . . .

I stayed home from work today and was in bed allll day -except for meal times and snack times (I'd have to go downstairs to get food for Kryssa). Well, my whole self was waaaaay messed up today -from my stupid stomach problems that never got resolved, to 'other' stomach issues, to high blood pressure, to my head, to achy bones/muscles, etc.- It's been RIDICULOUS!! SO! What did I do? I let Kryssa eat in her room so I could get right back into bed asap! Tonight, Chris was doing the 'night time' routine and just totally blew up on me about the crumbs on her floor! :( I mean, I know he just vacuumed last week and said "please, no more food in her room". I respected his wishes and said "ok" about it. But seriously? No exception for today?! Really?!

It sucks! Some days are amazing and some days are back to where we were not too long ago... I had just said, yesterday, on my way home from work, during our usual phone conversation on our way home, that I'm so in love and Thankful to God how everything has been. And that I really pray that nothing came up and ruined it. I remember saying, "I really hope that we can manage to not argue about anything because we argue about stupid stuff sometimes and it isn't worth ruining how great everything has been. Let's be careful what we let bother us...." I had JUST said that yesterday -approx. 7pm- and then by 10:30pm he blew up about who knows what w/ Kryssa and that caused me to get bothered and then because I shared w/ him what bothered me --that bothered him even more!!! Go figure!

Today went on like nothing even happened last night . . . which I got used to because that's how it used to be for waaaaay too long. Then he finds out that I'm not well today and he was super sweet and caring. He came home and really made an effort to take care of me. He took Kryssa to go run some errands and get out of the house so I could rest and have some quiet time! I was so thankful for the way everything was going. He got home and had rented a wii game; we all played and had a great time. I had no idea what to expect next. :( I just don't get it. I may never 'get it'.

I'm so sad right now. it's hard to be around that 'sudden explosion'. :( I'm a verbal person -I will talk about what's bothering me and attempt to resolve them. Chris, on the other hand, is not one to talk things out . . . he just kind of explodes about what bothers him and then sometimes doesn't even try to explain what happened . . . he just goes on like nothing ever happend... IT SUCKS!! :(

I thought things were changing . . .

so far it seems like 3 steps forward and one step back --which is pretty good, I guess?!?!

and this is just me venting . . . don't judge, don't judge. :) We all have our obstacles and our way of handling it.

October 24, 2008

conquering fears

oday, after work, Chris and I met up at Life Time Fitness. We had planned on going to the pilates class but as I passed the gym, w/ the rock wallsssssss, I had a very spontaneous thought to try rock climbing instead of balance and "core" target . . . whatever...

So, since it's our first time, we have to go through this mini intro on how to properly "hook" up. Everything seems simple enough and I'm thrilled and super excited! Why? Because Rock Climbing looks like SO MUCH FUN!!! . . . *confused face*

Well, to make this short:

my first attempt -I climb up about 3 ft or so (distance from my feet to the ground) and I start wondering why in the world I thought to do this. Mentally I had to start blocking out the fact that I'm afraid of heights!!! I don't know how rock climbing and my fear of heights never seemed to have crossed paths before I opened my mouth tonight!!! I convince myself to climb up a bit higher and higher and higher . . . then I realize that there is this huge gap and I'm not too sure how to get past it. Chris kept telling me that I could do it and my mind kept telling me that I'm WAY too high off the ground -to start going back down . . . a HUGE lump in my throat forms and I could have started to cry!!! :( then I realize that I didn't even practice repelling off of this wall!! LOL So, now I'm about 8 ft from the ground and I start climbing back down instead of trusting the 'auto belay pully thing' that I'm hooked up to . . . :(

2nd attempt- I look at where I stopped the first time and all I'm thinking is "I've got to go past that rock!" So, I start . . . and again, realize that I still didn't practice a repel -closer down to the ground. So, again, I start climbing down until my foot just couldn't reach the next 'rock' --I HAVE to let go, luckily I'm not far from the ground at all. After my first repel, I realize that it doesn't go too fast and that it's actually kind of fun. . . .ha!

3rd attempt- I climb up about 4 ft from the ground, maybe 5 ft, and try to convince myself to "let go" to practice another repel -from a little bit higher point from the last-. I figured that I needed to work my way up slowly, baby steps, to be able to repel from the top --for when I actually reach the top. I thought that my fear of climbing higher might have been from the fear of falling or not being able to climb my way back down. So at this point I figure that I would climb a little higher and then repel and then climb a little bit higher and then repel

I don't remember how many times I did that . . .

Then I just go for it. I start climbing and climbing and climbing --jumping past the climb and repel part of my plan-- now, I'm higher than I had climbed all night. I could count the rocks from the top. I needed something like 7 rocks or so (that my hands actually needed to hang on to before reaching the top) -I had already climbed about 3/4 of the entire wall . . . but after all those practice repels that I did, I could barely hold on to the rocks!! :( I panic . . . . I'm higher than I had been all night and I hadn't repelled from that height. Something in me just couldn't "let go"! It's NUTS!! Absolutely NUTS!! I know that the rope will catch me and I know that I was seeing others do it so easily but something in my head was saying "DO NOT LET GO!!" my breathing got rapid and heavy, my hands all sweaty and slippery, my arms totally shaky and then . . . I choked up and started to cry --upset that I couldn't get myself to just keep going, frustrated that I couldn't just let go and repel back down . . . I soooooo wanted to make it to the top and after an hour or climbing and repelling and watching others, etc., WHY COULDN'T I JUST DO IT?!?! :( At that point, there was no where else to go . . . I was at the highest point of my night, a had a huge gap to figure out how to climb around, I was just hanging on for dear life, basically! :( I'm shaking my head, saying, in my head, "just let go" -but then when I start sitting back into the rope, I panic and can't let go. I was also shaking my head because I would say, " I can do this, I know I can; just keep going . . . one more . . . just one more Michelle...." and then I was just frozen -saying NO! . . . so finally, I figure, I can't climb down because I just pushed off and passed a gap -there's no way my little leg will reach that rock I just left. I look at the wall right in front of my nose and count "1 . . . 2 . . . 3 . . . " and still can't repel!! lol I'm crying, shaking, sweating, and so emotionally frustrated w/ my stupid fear of heights . . . I held on longer until my muscles in my arms basically froze up --locked up, stiffened, etc. --and it HURT!!! I HAD to let go. So, I pushed off one big push, held my breath and scrunched my shoulders . . . squeaking/yelping (quietly of course) until my feet touched the ground. I looked up and realized how high I had climbed . . . I wasn't happy that I couldn't get myself to go to the very top --but I saw the rock I first stopped at and then I look up at the rock I last reached . . . . I accomplished so much tonight in that hour!!! :D

I can't wait to go back again and try to climb to the top . . . hopefully I won't have to work my way up on repelling again ;) hee hee

so, my upper body is sooooooo sore and all my muscles on my arms, hands, and even fingers (LOL) are stiff and barely work! --I even have some blisters that I could do w/ out.

I will make it to the top of that wall . . . someday . . . hopefully soon.

*after an hour of that, we went and worked out on the stair machine . . . . I SOOOOO could use a massage tonight!! ha ha ;)

October 20, 2008

update 10/19/08

hello!! :) It's been so long since I've sat to blog. I know it's late -yes, I'm tired . . .

quick update (I'll try to keep it quick -only cause I want to cuddle and sleep real soon):

I FINALLY got my "hair did"! (as Chris likes to say) I got it cut/trimmed/layered, colored a shade darker than my natural, and then a nice red hot streak over my white! :D I LOVE it!!

Yesterday was my sister's baby shower. I'm so glad it has passed -it was a lot of work! My mom and I had been working on all the details for months!! and these last several days have been sooooo overwhelming! ha ha. Everyone says they had so much fun/really enjoyed it. Albertina had a really great time and that's what matters most, right?! Oh! I got to feel my little niece move around in her belly!!! :D I felt many kicks and funky movements!! :D

I still enjoy my job! ha ha ;) I've had a chance to work w/ k-1st, 2-3rd, and 4-6th graders!! the pre-teens are my fav so far (of course!) -but each group has plenty of pros and cons.

We've started the paper work for our new house (in New Braunfels)! We've picked our lot (sept 21, I believe, is when we did that)!! They're holding off on breaking ground until Dec. 3 or so...that's a day or two after Chris gets final word w/ his, at that time, position w/ WaMu/Chase. God willing, if everything goes well, our house will be ready some time in March. **Our house will going up on the market sometime in Nov -hopefully. We've been working on all that we need to do to get it "ready".

We are looking forward to Halloween . . . Kryssa keeps going back and forth between being a purple bat, pink ghost, green dinosaur, rollie pollie, butterfly, fairy, Jack (from Jack in the box --not gonna happen cause Chris's took me about an entire week and I just don't feel up to making another "Jack Head"), . . . I can't remember what else --but she keeps on jumping around w/ her decision. Oh! she has also said that she wants to be Super Slueth Darby -from winnie the pooh...

What else? haha, ...

Oh, it turns out that we aren't going to Disney World this December after all --w/ all the WaMu/Chase changes, the house, and then we are still taking that cruise in Jan . . . We are still taking Kryssa to see PlayHouse Disney Live (in Austin) . . . I know, doesn't compare to Disney World -but she seems to understand. We are going to work and plan on going next year . . .

haha, Oh! lately, Chris has been talking 'bout "baby" . . . WHAT?! ha ha, he is wanting to try again, I think. He keeps bringing it up and asking random questions 'bout it --out of no where!! He totally catches me off guard. Noooooooo!!! ha ha ha I'm only about a fourth of the way into my 2yr "waiting" plan!! lol I was thinking we could try again sometime in 2010. Only 4 months have gone by since my "new focus plan" has started . . . . and now he's trying to change things all up?!?! it's so strange that he is the one leaning towards "baby". :( Poor thing . . . my heart and mind is so set at this point that I just can't see myself agreeing to try again -so soon. I told him, today that I am open to talking all about it but not to trying again -not yet; it's just too much of an emotional journey...

strange, huh?!

That's our update, for now, I guess. :)

I'll try to blog more often --I'll do my best.

August 29, 2008

We are walking into our "late 20’s"! Really?!?! Us?!

Chris turned 27 yesterday. I LOVE birthdays and I'm always super giddy planning a birthday celebration. Well, this year, I couldn't let it out as much. I had planned a surprise birthday dinner at Houlihan's to celebrate Chris's birthday. I invited a few of his friends and co-workers -and, of course, family. I wasn't sure if I was on the right path of leading him to believe it was just a night for the two of us. I told him that I had dinner reservations at Houlihan's for just the two of us and then a little something special planned for after dinner. I told him that my parents would watch Kryssa and that he would get his gift when we got home later that night.

The night before his birthday, right before midnight, I ask if he wants anything from downstairs, since I was already headed downstairs. He asks for milk and oreos, hee hee. So, as I start getting the plate, I realize that it is almost midnight, we always wish a Happy _____ (whatever the occasion is) at midnight. So, I make an oreo mountain/pyramid, break open the top cookie and stick a candle in the cream. I light it and walk upstairs. I hear him reading a book to Kryssa, I thought she was already asleep. I walk in anyway, singing Happy Birthday -I'm taking video in one hand, the plate of cookies balancing on top of the cup of milk in my other hand. That was the 'pre birthday celebration', I guess. hee hee

Birthday morning, everyone sleeps in and then Chris decides that he is going to cut the grass in the front (the rain had made it super fluffy!). i suggested maybe doing it another day but since he had the day off he figured he would get it done. Well, he had already put in his request for my "special fruit pancakes" so I got right to work. :) After breakfast, we all lounged around the house . . . I trimmed his hair, waxed his brows, and 'purtied' myself up for our 'date'. :D

4:30 rolls around and I had told him that I would be leaving at that time to 'beat traffic' to take Kryssa to my parents' house. Really, I needed to pick up his bday cake and balloons, wrap his gift at my parents' and change Kryssa into her 'party attire'!!

I get a chance to run my errands, a little hectic here and there w/ Kryssa's third nose bleed for the day, CRAZY traffic (and if you know my driving, I'm a very passive driver -but I definitely had to make my way in and out of traffic to get around traffic and run my errands), and lovely rainy weather. I got stuck in nasty traffic on the way back home and I was txting him that I was so sorry and hopefully we wouldn't lose our table and have to be on the wait list and be late to our second event, remember, there is no table for two or second event.

Up till that point, I'm really not sure if he was buying my story or not. I wasn't sure if he really knew what I had going on. Well, I hurry w/ getting all 'purtied' up and I drive us to Houlihan's. I called and "asked them to hold our table for two" -that I was running late and really didn't want to have to wait because we had somewhere else to be later . . . blah, blah, blah ---when I had already talked w/ the hostess and we had planned it all out: to get there "late", be sat at a table 'for two' and then I would have a reason to request a more 'private' table for the two of us and she would take us up to the "surprise" table!! I was soooo nervous, driving in the rain, concerned that I was running a little too late, and hoping that I hadn't slipped up somehow and given the surprise away . . .

The whole time we are driving to Houlihan's, Chris is txting away on his phone planning out his own birthday get together for Friday -because he doesn't know what was waiting for him. So, he stayed busy, thank God, because his dad parked right in front of the restaurant -even though he said he wouldn't!!!! So, I park across the parking lot and I'm hoping he wouldn't see my parent's car either . . . I go the long way around the parking lot and I am really surprised he never questioned why I walked allll the way around . . . then we we were coming close to the doors, where his dad's truck stood out like a sore thumb, I pointed over to some netting suspended between the light posts and ask him what that is for. ha ha, clever me, it was the opposite direction of his dad's truck and he totally fell for it!! He goes on explaining that it's because of the golf course behind there and all the way until we got inside the doors, I'm asking him to show me where the golf course is "no, really?! I don't see it?!" -lol. Well, I ask for our reservation for two and the hostess takes us down to a booth and asks "is this alright?" I say, "Well, I was really hoping for something a little more private, maybe off in a quite spot. A table would be better." She looks at me and mouths "now?" and I nod. Chris is still on his phone and he is just following behind and then asks, "what's going on? where are we going?" I tell him what I told the hostess and he says "oh, okay" and goes right back to txting! lol As we walk up to the table, he doesn't even really notice that he knows the people until he realized there weren't any available tables up there . . . Oh, the look he gave me as everyone yelled "SURPRISE!" is priceless!!!! :D He really had NO CLUE!! I'm sooooo thankful and I was soooooo excited!!! I was sneakily recording it on my camera and I love to watch it over and over, the look he gave me and him pointing his finger at me as if saying "youuuuuuu little sneak!" hee hee :)

it was great and I will always remember how happy he looked to see everyone there and he kept asking me how I planned it all and pulled it all off w/out him knowing!! Yay!! He is sooooo hard to surprise . . . so I am just soooo happy to know that we all really surprised him --for real, for real!! hahahah :)

So, my babe is 27! And to think I, too, am walking into my "late 20's!!! Wow!!

I know it's a long blog; but yesterday, meant so much to me --watching Chris have such a wonderful time! :D

Again, for everyone who helped out in any and every way, Thanks for making his birthday so memorable!! :)

July 28, 2008

Finally some good 'ol fun

Hi there! It's been quite a while, I think, since I last blogged. Just like everyone else's life, there has been SO much going on --in just about every part of my (and "our") life!! --some GREAT and amazing and some painful and overwhelming . . .

Well, I just had to blog about our weekend . . .

I enjoyed almost every part of the weekend (yes, "almost" :( )
We had date night on Friday. Kryssa spent the night at Grandma and Grandpa's house. So, Chris and I went to Red Robin for dinner and we ate at the Bar, which is a date night feel for us because w/ Kryssa we HAVE to sit at a table. ha ha --the little things that excite me . . . being able to sit at the bar (not to drink it up, lol! Just to "change things up a bit" -because we always sit at tables when we're out as a family . . . so going out, just the two of us, means that we can do things differently!! get it?! lol). Then we went to the Palladium for a 'late' (11:45pm) showing of Hancock. We thought it was a really great movie (can I say that? "Really great"? haha, I don't even remember what words go together . . .).

Saturday, I got UNINTERRUPTED sleep (yay!!) and got to sleep in until 10:30am!! Woohoo!!! I met up w/ a friend and visited a British Tea House for lunch -no children w/ us, just good 'ol gal time. It was so much fun --except they didn't have the variety of tea we thought they would :( . So, we plan on trying out a new one real soon. Then Chris and Kryssa joined in on the fun and our two families BBQ'd some yummy yummy steaks and corn cob . . . it was a late night of eating great food, playing cards, and laughing until we cried (and snorted)!! lol --good times, good times!

Sunday morning, we met up at Mimi's Cafe w/ some old friends, that were in town, and had breakfast - Yummy food!! :D After that we headed to my parent's house because my sis was in town and we wanted to stop by for a quick "hello" before they headed back to Austin. After already having a very nice weekend, it got even better when I got to SHOP (while Chris was at the Apple Store at La Cantera -standing in line for 2 hrs just to buy his new iPhone)!! woohoo!! ha ha. I got some clothes, shoes, sleepy time attire and other little nik-naks . . . Kryssa got plenty of outfits too (about 10 outfits -dresses and some shorts and shirt sets)!! :) We bought some little gifts for Kryssa's birthday, etc. I was at the store waaaaaayyyyyy too long -but after all that shopping, we ate at Cosi, at The Rim, w/ Chris's dad. It was a super great weekend!

We have soooo much to do to get ready for Kryssa's bday party, which we're really behind on, unfortunately. :( So, this week will probably only be busier than the last --but Chris is off on Wednesday and we are hoping to finally use our Schlitterbahn tickets, that we got from an HEB promotion, back in June, for FREE!!!!!! Woohoo!!

This is the part of the year that I call "the holiday snowball" --Once our anniversary passes (which it did, July 6) we just have to hold on tight and keep breathing until about March or April, when everything calms down again . . . birthday after birthday, holiday after holiday and more birthdays . . . here it comes and I'm super excited! :D Oooh, because we have a few vacations mixed in all that, again this year.

Wow, well, that's an update, i guess . . .

Have an amazing week!

June 20, 2008

My new best friend

So, we meet, once again.
18 months that you've been gone.
What a bitter sweet reunion.
I didn't think I'd see you around so soon.
I feel like it's the right decision though.

Please be good to me.
Keep me balanced.
Don't overwhelm me.
Don't drain me.
Don't keep me from 'lovin'.

You're one part of my life that must stay consistent.
I'll depend on you only for a while.
Let's not get to comfortable
Because the time will come when we must part, once again.

Figured it out yet? LOL. I'm working on accepting my current situation (one of them at least) --w/ a sense of humor!! haha --So, for those of you who have figured it out . . . you're either cracking up or rolling your eyes (Chris is still laughing at me, yes, AT ME! He says "I'm not making fun of you; You're cute!" --but I know he's making fun of me!! ha ha. I don't care. I'm making light of how I really feel.) LOL. For those of you who have no idea what this is about, I started my BC today. Yay! :) and Boo! :( all at the same time.

Doc says it should really 'take care' of the pain I've been dealing w/ (my right ovary has been very mean to me!) -so Yay to that. Also, this will help us do our best in planning the next couple/several years.

I did shed my tears today. I had no idea it would happen. When the doc asked why we decided to get back on BC and stop TTC, I started talking about it a bit and then just told him that it's a bit emotional for me . . . so he quickly switched subjects. :) What a great doc! Really, he is! Then I gave my usual updates to my mom and sis but when my mom heard sadness in my voice she kindly asked, "you doin' okay, mija?" --and then I broke. Just a bit. It's settling, finally. Something I AM very thankful for: My WONDERFUL doc gave me 2 months of BC. That saves us $100!!! Yes, the BC I choose to take costs $50 a month! :( But thank God we just saved $100!! And he said that if the pain doesn't start getting better w/in the month that I should go back and see him and he would keep monitoring my ovaries (I think I've already mentioned that the cysts had started to come back. Well today, because I mentioned how much pain I've been in, daily, he checked my ovaries and my right (the one causing all the miserable pain) has several cysts -5 times bigger than what the left ovary has! :( - **I just realized this might be making some of you cringe . . . sorry! ha ha** ANYWAY!! If I have to go back and see him, I know him, he'll give me more "samples" of my BC -hee hee!! :D But God willing I won't have to go back.

So my silly poem is one way of accepting my new pills . . . instead of fertility pills, i should have been starting today, I walked away w/ the complete opposite. haha.

It is what it is now and I WILL make the best of it. I'm ready . . . Let's get packing for Disney World!! ha ha!!


June 19, 2008

What the?!?!

LOL . . . LOL . . . What the?!?!

When I saw this . . . I was shocked . . . for so many reasons. Maybe you don't see it the same . . . when I right clicked, it took me to the site and I cringed even more . . . (

Now, I'm not model Material --compared to a stereotypical model these days! BUT I just couldn't believe some of the swimsuits that are shown and then the 'who' they are on!!! (for ex: the HAIRY HAIRY man legs that are shown w/ the trunks!!! lol --I feel I have a right to shriek about that because I have my fair share of hair!!! lol)

I live in a society that hasn't been exposed to many 'realistic' looking 'models' -you know?! I'm used to seeing the perfect, airbrushed, look --and this is nothing like that! impressive in some way, I guess . . .

*to each their own . . . to each their own . . .*

Say the RIGHT thing!

Read this article today and found it very informative, useful, encouraging.

In this article:
Say the Right Thing

By Andrea J. Buchanan

It's hard to know how to help when a friend has a miscarriage or fertility problems, or is going through a divorce. Here are the best ways to tell her you care.

When a Friend Has a Miscarriage

Lisa Bertrand, of St. Louis, felt sad and alone after her pregnancy ended at nine weeks. Her friends and family tried to be supportive, but some of their remarks were piercing and painful. "One friend said, 'The baby must have had a lot of problems,'" she recalls. "To me, it sounded like she was saying, 'It probably wasn't a perfect baby, and so what's there to be so upset about?'" What helped was talking to a friend who cried with Bertrand when she told her the news. "That friend really understood how I felt, and I ended up being the one reassuring her, saying, 'Don't worry; I'll be okay,'" Bertrand said.

No matter how clunky their reaction, most people genuinely want to make a friend who's lost a baby feel better. "Even the most insensitive things that pop out of their mouth are usually motivated by an impulse to make everything okay," says Ann Douglas, author of The Mother of All Pregnancy Books. With a miscarriage, what often gets minimized is the depth of the loss -- or at least that's how it can feel to someone who is hurting. "Even a very early miscarriage is the loss of a baby, and that causes grief," Douglas says. In addition, a woman who loses a pregnancy often feels guilty, as if it's somehow her fault. Friends who don't acknowledge what happened can compound that feeling. "If you aren't sure what to say, just say, 'I'm so sorry,'" suggests Douglas. "It might seem generic, but in most cases, it's the most appropriate thing to tell someone."

Don't say...


"It just wasn't meant to be." It's easy to be philosophical when it's not happening to you.

"Are you going to try again?" When someone's grieving the loss of an unborn child, she doesn't really want to think about another just yet.

"At least you know you can get pregnant!" Right. But she also knows she can lose the baby. Not something she wants to be reminded of.

Do say...


"I'm so sorry to hear about what happened."

"I'm here if you feel like talking about it."

"Can I watch your kids or run errands for you? I'd like to help in any way I can."

When Someone Gets Divorced

My friend Sarah separated from her husband when their son was 4, and she was stunned when a casual acquaintance reacted to the news with a cluck of the tongue. "She said, 'Oh, your poor kid' -- as if I hadn't thought of him in all of this!" When Katie Allison Granju, of Knoxville, Tennessee, first told people she was parting with her husband after three kids and 13 years of marriage, a clueless friend asked, "Have you considered counseling?"

The common thread in these reactions is the assumption that a friend who's getting divorced is overlooking something. But odds are that she's been considering this move carefully for a long time. No matter how resolved she is about her decision, though, a divorce still brings out all sorts of feelings: anger, guilt, shame, sometimes even a sense of relief. "The best thing you can do is listen," says Randi E. Platt, a psychologist in private practice in Philadelphia. "Emotions run high when a marriage breaks up, and your friend needs someone who can help her deal with her feelings."

Don't say...


"Was he cheating?" Never press for details -- it's none of your business unless your friend needs to vent.

"Did you think about how this will affect the children?" Yes, your friend has probably thought about this far more than you can imagine.

"My parents got divorced when I was a kid, and I used to wish they could get back together." Your story is not relevant -- unless your friend explicitly asks for your memories on this subject.

Do say...


"I just called to see how you're doing and to tell you I'm sorry that you've been going through such a difficult time."

"How are you holding up? Let me know if you'd like to meet for coffee."

"You're going to get through this."

When a Friend Is Infertile

When Andrea Young, of Richardson, Texas, grappled with infertility she heard all the classics: "Just relax and you'll get pregnant." "My brother's friend's wife took vitamin E and finally got pregnant." "You could always adopt." She got so used to these kinds of comments that she almost became numb to them. "But some really stung, especially ones that implied infertility was a weakness on my part," Young recalls.

If you haven't dealt with infertility, it's hard to understand how consuming and emotionally challenging it can be. Someone who can't conceive often finds it tough to be around pregnant women and new moms -- and her feelings of self-esteem are probably at an all-time low. Infertility can put a strain on a couple's relationship, and the medical treatment itself causes emotional ups and downs. "It's important to be extremely sensitive to how difficult the situation is for your friend," Platt says. If she wants to share details of the ordeal, be available to listen. But if she doesn't offer information, don't pry. Above all, take cues from her about what kind of situations she can -- and can't -- handle.

Don't say...


"I just know you're going to get pregnant soon!" Actually, you don't.

"That's awful. You must be so depressed." It's presumptuous to assume you know how someone else feels. And a person in crisis doesn't need to be reminded of her pain.

"My husband just looks at me and I get pregnant!" Talk about bragging -- and rubbing salt in the wound.

Do say...


"I'm so sorry you're going through this. I wish I could help."

"I'd love to hear about what's happening, if you feel comfortable talking about it."

"Call me anytime if you need to vent."

When a Friend's Child Is Very Ill

Melinda Wenner Bradley, of Glen Mills, Pennsylvania, was shocked by how one woman reacted when she told her that her toddler had cancer. "She said, 'Aren't you terrified?' right there in front of my older child," Bradley recalls. "What I wanted to say was, 'No, I don't have time to be terrified. And even if I was, I wouldn't want my kids to know.'" Now that her son's prognosis is good, she encounters people who talk about how relieved she must be that his illness is over. "I know they mean well," Bradley says. "But the reality is, cancer isn't ever over. He'll be undergoing tests every few months for years."

People are usually eager to help when a friend is dealing with a medical crisis. But unless offers of help are specific, they can be overwhelming. Since your pal will be spending a lot of time at doctors' appointments and the hospital, let her know exactly what you can do: pick up her other kids at school, deliver a hot meal for the family, or send an e-mail update to friends she doesn't have time to contact. She'll need emotional support as well, so tell her you're available if she wants to talk. And make sure she knows that your offer to help is not a one-time thing. "Be there for her on an ongoing basis," Douglas says. "It takes months -- even years -- for people to come to terms with a major event like a seriously ill child. Your friend will appreciate having your support over the long term."

Don't say...


"Oh, I know someone who had something like that, and he's fine." Unless it was exactly like that, please don't share. Also, never talk about kids who had a similar diagnosis and didn't make it.

"I hope it's not terminal." Not something your friend wants to contemplate right now. And if she does, let her bring it up.

"Is it contagious?" You may be concerned about your own kids, but this question sounds selfish and insensitive.

Do say...


"I'm sorry to hear your son is in the hospital. I'd be happy to pick your daughter up from soccer practice so you'll have one less thing to worry about."

"I've been thinking about you a lot. How are you doing?" Then make sure you really listen. There might not be anything more to say.

"I can sit with you, do some online research -- whatever you need, I'll do it." Don't be afraid to throw out ideas. She might be too freaked out to think straight.

When Someone Says Something Hurtful to You

If you're going through a crisis, and someone makes a remark you find inappropriate, you have every right to cut the encounter short, says Susan O'Doherty, PhD, a psychologist in Brooklyn. Say something like, "Thanks for your concern," and then change the subject. Or, if you're comfortable being more direct, say, "I'm sorry, I don't really feel like talking about this."

Copyright © 2008 Meredith Corporation. Used with permission from the July 2008 issue of Parents magazine.

June 18, 2008

'what if'

Hi. I warn you -I'm in one of my 'moods' . . . my 'thinking moods', which I experience often.

So, I was reading a blog --almost an entire blog (she's pregnant, so I read from Nov. 2007 to June 9). I don't know her personally; I've met her once and she is a good friend of an old friend of mine -why I felt to share all that, who knows-. Anyhow, I have so much respect for all that I read. I don't even know her but I respect her for who she is and how she choses to be real. I mean REAL. So, it got me thinking...

Originally, when I signed up for myspace it's because a co-worker of mine (thanks amanda! ha ha) introduced me to it and encouraged me to sign up. I felt it would be a silly waste of time (which most of the time, I admit, it is. --now, don't huff at me so quickly . . . it all has to do with what one chooses to do. I choose to waste time on myspace -to pass time, get my mind focused on something other than what's right in front of me, and then I really do like to keep up w/ people and see what goes). I signed up thinking it would be a 'once in a while deal. I was wrong. I had fun, found old school mates, friends, etc. Well, then I found that I really enjoyed a place to just be me and not have to face all the judgement and criticism that exists in 'life'. Well, I guess to make a 'long story short', I thought I could use my blog as my window of truth --share who I really am and what really goes: how I love life, have so many questions, i have my doubts, passions, annoyances, I love being me, i daydream, I think -a lot! - and so on, you know? the little piece of me that no one really understands or cares to get to know? Make sense? The part of me that I shy away from showing at times because it has always been contradicted w/ all sorts of lectures, rules, boundaries, etc . . . I'm not a bad person. I honestly believe I am really a GOOD person . . . BUT I'm not perfect. THAT, I think, would be a given right? We hear it all the time "no one is perfect". Don't you ever wonder what someone is really like? What they really think when no one asks . . . or what they really want to share but hold back (not wanting to shock, offend, or upset others). I often wonder how someone really feels about the person they say they love. People don't hold back from sharing how they REALLY feel about someone they don't like or care for. But it's so automatic sometimes to paint the perfect picture or what we want other to see in the ones we like, care for, love. I wonder what someone really wants to say when they say things are 'okay'. I'm a very curious person and I'm sure I'm not the only one out there.

So, I, often, feel that I want to be that straight forward 'this is who I am -take it or leave it-' type of person --that's how I feel inside (and lately it's getting stronger. I'm getting bolder and a little more 'brave', I guess I could say . . . or how about 'daring'.), but it's not what I show on the outside very often. I'm a 'pleaser/giver'. I tend to do all that I can to please those around me --but don't you wonder what it's really like in my head, in my heart?! Maybe that's why I talk so much . . . because I'm so busy beating around the bush of my true self that I'll find alllll sorts of things to talk about in order not to bare all and shock or offend someone?! I don't know. Maybe I talk too much because I think about what I'm going to say, how I'm going to say, what I think about when I'm saying it . . . ha ha . .

Okay, so now I wonder what my own point is --ha ha, kidding!

Here it is: I am currently dealing w/ a whole mega-mass of thoughts, questions, emotions due to some 'things' that are going on in my life/marriage, relationships (including friendships) . . . a part of me wants to just be real, be me, and blog like I would write in a personal journal or something -w/out hesitance of who I truly am and what really processes in my thinker and heart. BUT here's my question: WHAT IF I did? I know I would find out who my true 'friends' are --and that is a good thing, right?! I shouldn't care that what I have to say, what really goes, might repel some of you, right? Or should I?! I think that growing up the way I did -w/ what I've been taught and shown about religion (or whatever you want to refer to it as) and how to be 'proper' -in life- has caused me to believe that if I claim to be a Christian that everything I do and say should portray that 'image' . . . Well, to some extent I can see how that is important (in my walk w/ God). But it isn't about being a perfect person . . . I mean, isn't it a given that we all fall short? That we all fail and make mistakes? That we all are faced w/ trials?! Shouldn't it be about the HOW instead of the WHAT?! Isn't it more important on HOW I choose to handle my trials and how I choose to go about as a 'christian' making the best of what I am given, faced w/, surrounded w/?! Instead of the WHAT i'm faced w/, going through? I feel it's more of a learning experience to be real about how I, a woman of faith, a christian, handle, deal with, survive, (etc.) those issues --rather than the actual issue itself?! Does that make sense to anyone? When did it turn into "Oh my, I can't believe she's like that" -instead of it being "That's one way to handle something like that! huh!"

I think if I knew more people like that, that I wouldn't constantly have all these questions . . . that's just my opinion. I mean, I would still, definitely, have questions --but If I had more examples of how one copes w/ these circumstances then I wouldn't wonder if I'm doing it 'right'!! I'm doing the best I can w/ what I'm given right now. I just know that some of my 'friends' would pass judgement or look at me 'crooked' (or feel that way behind my back). I'm positive some of you would feel that you're 'better' than me in some way --and/or think less of me . . . because the current path I'm walking?! Seriously?! How RIGHT is that?! I'm sure SOME of you might be able to understand what I'm talking about (being a Christian or not; I'm sure it happens to everyone!). Haven't you ever felt 'crazy' like you're the only one dealing w/ a particular issue -in your circle of 'friends- only to find out, that once you 'share' a little, that you AREN'T the only one?! Wouldn't it have saved you from so much of that feeling like 'no one' would understand you -if they would have only just been themselves from the start?

I do have my true friends that, no matter what is going on in my life, and how it is affecting me, they love me through it and won't point fingers --now, we are close enough that when need be they would point out some areas of concern --but never to the extreme that I feel I can't ever lean on them when needed. -and for those few, I am deeply, truly, thankful.

I had someone tell me, recently, that they didn't feel that they could really share what was on there mind because I'm "too good" -and I probably wouldn't understand! I almost wanted to reach through the computer and slap the silliness out of them!! ha ha. What was meant was more along the lines of compared to what that person had experienced/lived they would imagine me not understanding because in their eyes, I was set on a pedal stool a little higher than how they felt about themselves --which I shared w/ them that a sin is a sin . . . there's no degree of 1-10 for right and wrong. It's either right or it's wrong. The action itself might not be similar but the thoughts and feelings leading up to the action might be similar (and remember, I said MIGHT). Now, in our eyes as imperfect people, we might try to justify what we have chosen to do by comparing it to something that seems much worse . . . makes sense?!

Anyhow . . . I just wonder . . . WHAT IF we became as real as we crave to be -in our hearts and minds, w/ others around us . . . now, i know some don't even consider being real because it may hurt too much or all those hundreds of myspace so-called friends might gasp and turn away . . . I would much rather be appreciated and respected, by a few, for who I truly am rather than FEEL respected and understood, by many, for only what I allow people to perceive of me. But who really cares?! Who can really handle all that truth from one person?!

Someone recently told me, "if we can't be honest w/ the ones closest to us (the ones we are 'supposed' to trust) then where's the support going to come from -in order to better yourselfe in life?" And honestly why in the world would I want to surround myself w/ ones whom I can't be honest w/!?!?! That just wouldn't make sense . . .

If you're only honest w/ yourself and a select few . . . what kind of results will that offer? For me, truth is the only real solution . . . in any circumstance. I have to be honest w/ myself and not deny what I'm being faced with. --that is when the life changing results take place --at least that is what I believe.

I just don't think there are many that can handle it . . . I'd probably repel more than I imagine . . . or it could be the complete opposite. Maybe most of you agree w/ me and WOULD respect me more for being real about life's issues.

Now, I'm no Debbie Downer --but being 25, married for almost 6 yrs, a mother of a 3yr old . . . and all that makes me ME . . . I feel that I've learned differently compared to others my age. Not saying I'm better than anyone --because there's always something to learn from everyone -no matter the age . . . because we all have different stories. but that I possibly have something good to share in just being me -instead of sugar coating things. But who really wants that, right?! haha

yeah, so my blogs just might turn into a real-life 'reality' series . . . who knows! I'm growing, maturing and I'm not the same little Mishelly I used to be. Yes, life does change people, huh? My situations sure have . . .

I still love LIFE. I still love GOD. I still love FAMILY. But I'm at the point where I don't settle or make excuses for "unacceptable-ness" around me (like my new word?! ha ha). I'm not perfect; I make mistakes and stupid decisions . . . but I think I'm done holding back. I shouldn't be ashamed to be me just because I Love God and try my best to do right and be a good person . . . it's more reason to be me. If He accepts me for all my drama, flaws, confusions, mistakes, emotions -then who am I to be ashamed of what makes me ME!

a lot of changes are taking place. some I happily accept, some I'm a little hesitant to accept, and some I'm in denial and want to refuse to accept (knowing that it really might not be up to me -in the long run). so, if you find me distant, cold, rude, a little negative, just not that same "mishelly" at times --I just have a lot going on and I'm re-evaluating almost everything, trying to figure this out . . . don't know how long it will take. I'm not miserable . . . just a very quiet state --until I open up about some of these subjects, then you might just get more than you asked for, ha ha ;)

No worries, no worries . . . EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!! :)

June 12, 2008

Might you have something to say on this?

Can you get to your future if your past is present?

**quoting Carrie Bradshaw (Sex and the City)**

when I heard this, I thought I'd put it somewhere . . . got me thinking how true it is in so many ways and then realizing that your past is a part of present and future --in some way, there's no escape ---just some sifting through and lessons learned...

and then in some ways there is an escape . . . haven't really figured that one out yet though. Escape? really? I don't fully grasp that...

or maybe all it takes are baby steps . . . or one step at a time, right? gradually reach your future one step at a time --every time the past stays out of the present, you move one step closer to the future?


the past is a reminder used as fuel to continue to push you towards the future . . .

comments are always welcome!

okay, so I may be too much of a thinker but I sure do enjoy words of other 'thinkers'...

June 9, 2008

Everything must come to an end

Well, it's the end of the road for us. We tried our last try. It's time to move on as a family of three. 18 months have passed . . . we are officially done TTC. There have been enough ups and downs in this chapter to last a life time. Every thing happens for a reason, I stick to that. The memories of all that we've endured will help us stay strong and remind us that Kryssa is more than just a blessing in our lives. I know that God will give me the desires of my heart --on His timing and I accept that. I'm ready to focus on the next chapter of our lives, and my life.

I was supposed to see my doc today but i rescheduled for Thursday. That is the day when it will feel final --when I start my bc, ha ha. I don't know how he is going to react to our decision --I can kind of imagine what he might say and what expression he'll get on his face. He wanted to start me back on fertility drugs this month and that is what he is expecting to do when I see him next. But I just don't want to go through that again. Not right now; not this year. I had enough of the fertility drugs last year and I'm ready to just accept what this is and move on.

Kryssa says she's ready to start school. So, we're looking into some private schools; but I think we've missed the deadline for fall 2008 enrollment. So, maybe she'll start when she's five...

We are preparing to sell our house. It's been a lovely home for 3 1/2 year already. But we are looking to build a home and our lives in the outskirts of SA (closer to Austin, if not Austin). God willing, we will have a new address before 2009. So far, everything is working out nicely! :) It's a nice smooth path and a lot of perks. :D

Now that we aren't TTC, our Disney World vacation is more possible to plan! We have saved the funds, and we have the we can book it!! We hadn't booked it because if we found out we were pregnant, it would basically mean that I wouldn't be able to go because I would be too far along in December to fly (just like what happened in 2003: I bought tickets to fly to Cali -for chris's Christmas gift- and then weeks later we found out we were expecting....sure enough, when July came around, I was already in preterm labor and placed on strict bed rest --we lost money when we canceled our vacation package!! :( -so, we have learned our lesson.) now that we know there's no baby on the way for this year, we can book our vacation!!!!! --Disney World, here we come!! (God willing!)

Next month we will be celebrating our 6th year of marriage!! and that week, as usual, Chris is off for our celebration vacation! :D We aren't traveling anywhere for our anniversary this year --but we are planing on taking Kryssa to South Padre Island! Poor thing always talks about going to the beach and she will finally experience the beach this July. :) She's real excited and so are we!! Chris is actually working on booking a condo, today, for our beach vacation --Yepeeee!!

So, I'm focused on all the other 'happenings' for this year! I'm thankful that we are where we are in our lives as a family, married couple, and business/job. I have the flexibility that I've always wanted for my family, Chris is blessed w/ a job where he's continued to move up the 'corporate' ladder (Thanks be to God --and God willing, his next promotion happens by the end of this year) -and he does a wonderful job supplying for and supporting his family . . . AND we can continue to spoil our "only child" the way we love to!!! lol ;) I know, I know, I'm sure it will come back and bite us in the rear some day . . . but for now, w/in reason, we shall spoil her w/ lots of love and 'fun' things!!! hee hee :D

So, this is the update --the biggest update I've posted in a while. I just wasn't ready to share everything . . . I needed to let it settle in my head and heart before I blurred it out to you. It doesn't just feel like a dream anymore; it's real: we're no longer's see what comes of all this. :)

thanks for all your support, encouraging words, and listening ears. :) I'll will share more updates as they come along . . .

May 6, 2008

I just HAD to!!!!!

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Potato chips!

  1. Tradition allows women to propose to potato chips only during leap years.
  2. It takes 8 minutes for light to travel from the Sun's surface to potato chips!
  3. Potato chips will always turn right when leaving a cave.
  4. The horns of potato chips are made entirely from hair.
  5. The colour of potato chips is no indication of their spiciness, but size usually is.
  6. There is no lead in a lead pencil - it is simply a stick of graphite mixed with potato chips and water!
  7. The Aztec Indians of Mexico believed potato chips would protect them from physical harm, and so warriors used them to decorate their battle shields!
  8. The moon is 400 times closer to the Earth than potato chips, and 400 times smaller!
  9. Carnivorous animals will not eat another animal that has been hit by potato chips.
  10. If you blow out all the candles on potato chips with one breath, your wish will come true.
I am interested in - do tell me about

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Cupcakes!

  1. If your ear itches, this means that someone is talking about cupcakes!
  2. The military salute is a motion that evolved from medieval times, when knights in armour raised their visors to reveal cupcakes.
  3. Never store cupcakes at room temperature.
  4. Cupcakes can only be destroyed by intense heat, and is impermeable even to acid!
  5. If a snake is born with two heads, the heads will fight over who gets cupcakes.
  6. Cupcakes are the traditional gift for a couple on their third wedding anniversary.
  7. If you chew gum while peeling cupcakes then it will stop you from crying.
  8. Influenza got its name because people believed the disease was caused by the evil "influence" of cupcakes.
  9. All shrimp are born as cupcakes, but gradually mature into females.
  10. About 100 people choke to death on cupcakes each year!
I am interested in - do tell me about

Ten Top Trivia Tips about My ipod!

  1. If you lick my ipod ten times, you will consume one calorie.
  2. While sleeping, fifteen percent of men snore, and ten percent grind their my ipod.
  3. Ninety-six percent of all candles sold are purchased by my ipod!
  4. My ipod can't sweat.
  5. Some hotels in Las Vegas have my ipod floating in their swimming pools.
  6. If you drop my ipod from the top of the Empire State Building, it will be falling fast enough to kill before reaching the ground!
  7. The risk of being struck by my ipod is one occurence every 9,300 years.
  8. Humans share about fifty percent of their DNA with my ipod.
  9. It takes 17 muscles to smile, and 43 to frown at my ipod.
  10. My ipod has only one weakness - the colour yellow.
I am interested in - do tell me about

please forgive me for this next one . . . immature? YES! Hilarious? . . . it will be for some . . . maybe even most!!! :D --I couldn't help myself, I just had to . . .

Ten Top Trivia Tips about My panties!

  1. The risk of being struck by my panties is one occurence every 9,300 years.
  2. There is no lead in a lead pencil - it is simply a stick of graphite mixed with my panties and water.
  3. My panties are the world's smallest mammal!
  4. My panties can live for up to a week without a head.
  5. The air around my panties is superheated to about five times the temperature of the sun.
  6. California is the biggest exporter of my panties in the world!
  7. My panties are the only king without a moustache on the standard pack of cards.
  8. Humans share about fifty percent of their DNA with my panties.
  9. If you lie on your back with your legs stretched it is impossible to sink in my panties.
  10. In the Great Seal of the United States the eagle grasps 13 arrows and my panties.
I am interested in - do tell me about

Now, tell me, was that NOT hilarious?! . . .

anyway, enjoy your evening. I have to get back to house work...

April 29, 2008

she made it all better

I just had to blog about this:

Today was (still is) a BIG/BUSY day for us. We had to go to the vet w/ the puppy for her first check up and shots --on the way, Kryssa was petting her and talking to her about getting shots . . . how she has to get hers in order to go to school and how if the puppy is good for her shots maybe they'll give her a sticker --"when I get my shots, I'm good and I get a sticker and sometimes a lollipop. Maybe you'll get a sticker after you get your shots . . . it's gonna be okay, you just have to get your shots like me . . ."

It was tooooo cute!! I'm driving to the vet enjoying the whole conversation.

Leaving the vet's, we brought back Pinky and Browny (I dropped them off yesterday morning to get declawed) and I feel soooo sad for them. They are still pretty out of it and super tired/drained PLUS, poor them, they have their front legs wrapped all the way up and they can't really walk the same right now. They keep trying to shake the bandages off and it just tires them out even more. I can't wait until the bandages come off and we can enjoy our declawed kitties!!! I just want to cuddle w/ them and make it all better --but I'm sure they're just fine . . .poor kitties . . .

I'm in the middle of a Yum-Yummies order. I'm waiting to hear from my customer. We are almost coming to the 'pick-up' time and he still hasn't confirmed the name on the cake!!! ahhhh!! I have a 'plan b' though -in case he just shows up to pick it up and still hasn't responded. OH! and to make things hairier --his phone is not letting calls go through right now!! :( So, he hasn't checked his email and I can't get a hold of him on his phone . . . I shall just wait . . .

Then, tonight, I have 24 red chili peppers to make and 48 maracas to make AND paint!!! woohoo, I'm having a party tonight!!

Chris gets to go to tonight's SPURS game . . . our neighbor won tickets on the radio yesterday morning and she invited him to join her. How super nice of her and how super nice for him!! hee hee. :D They'll have fun and, honestly, I'll have a fun time molding the toppers (it's a lot of fun for me . . . I love being crafty and creative!!), while Kryssa enjoys watching Snow Buddies! (Thanks Rachael!! :D )

what a night...

And then I'll work Wed., Thurs., Friday -daytime, w/ the kids and then in the evening, on the cupcake order (working on whatever I don't finish tonight, w/ the toppers) --and then I'm done w/ JLM (for now, at least. I don't know if there's more childcare for me in the future . . .) -for now, I'll focus on Yum-Yummies! :) So far, it's goin WAY better than I had hoped for --God is Awesome and everything is just falling into place. How exciting!!!

Oh, the stats on the pup: she weighs 10 lbs and the doc thinks she has some Corgi in her. He also thinks she won't pass 20lbs --we'll see!

have a wonderful evening!

April 25, 2008


I accidentally slept in past 10am! I don't know why I couldn't force myself to get up at 8am. I was a little bummed out when I realized the time...

Well, I have a lot on my agenda for today, mainly cleaning/house chores. I hope to vacuum the entire house, clean the cat box, clean the hard floors, finally finish the laundry to the 'T', mow the back yard and maybe even plant some flowers... Now, realistically speaking, I'll probably vacuum, clean the cat box, do some laundry, and clean some of the hard floors.

April 23, 2008

We are giving it a try. (trial period)

I think it's going to go very very well. She is the BEST dog I have EVER had --even the dog that I loved and raised, growing up at home, wasn't THIS good!!!

Kryssa has named her Duchess (from AristoCats). She is soooo sweet and loves to cuddle --or just sit and watch. she isnt' super hyper and she is getting used to the cats. hee hee ;)

I'll posts pics soon . . . I've done a lot of thinking --and the pros really outweighed the cons. :)

she's sound asleep already --what a wonderful first couple of hours it's been. Let's see how it continues . . .


April 21, 2008


**Just so you know, this blog is quite longer than usual . . . if you don't make it all the way through, please, at least jump down to the bottom, what's in bold, and respond and share your input --at least for that section. Please and thank you. :)

I told a couple of you that I would blog --so that I don't repeat myself, explaining one of my 'status messages' (said something like "just found some news out and now I have a LOT to think about . . .")

So, I normally blog about our ttc updates because stuff in our daily life had basically been staying the same. Not personally -like we haven't just been zombies -- we were just having a steady, constant, flow of regularity (does that make sense?!) And also, there are just some things I choose not to blog about. :) My point, now I have something to blog about, an update of our daily lives . . . what goes on. :)

A lot of things are happening; seems like they are 'lay low' issues, happening 'under the radar'. Meaning that they impact our lives suddenly and very gradually --at the same time!! ha ha. So, confusing, it seems. As I'm typing this, I'm thinking "this makes no sense what so ever!!!" ha ha. But it's the way it seems to me . . . and a lot needs to be thought out in order to make some sense of it --decisions/solutions.

The day I changed my status, that mentioned some "news", it was the day I got word that the kids I currently watch will soon be staying home w/ their mom. Which I am really excited for the family because I really enjoying being home w/ Kryssa and soaking up alllll the mommy moments, you know?! Plus, as a mom, when you want to be at home w/ your kids and finally get the opportunity to do so, it's a VERY rewarding and a life changing, exciting moment!! So, my joy went out to the family. THEN I sat there, after the phone conversation, and so many other thoughts started to swirl in . . . "I'm really going to miss not seeing them as much as I do right now.", "not having that extra income will make a difference", "Kryssa's going to miss having company/playmates 3 times a week", "it's been great, overwhelming, rewarding all in one package . . . but what now?!", "Oh, well, this will give me more time to focus on Yum-Yummies!" (if we could 'open shop' by the end of this year, early next year, that would be AMAZING!!!) . . . so, I had a LOT on my mind. But then I realized that it was a God sent in one area (that I can see right now): I had accepted a 5 dz. order for the 28th and I had planned on just starting the order Thursday evening (after the work day) and working all the way through, until I finished, and then just pump myself w/ caffeine to work at 8am Friday morning. Plus, I was going to see if my FIL could delivery the order --seeing how I would be working all day Friday w/ the kids. SO . . . as I sat and stared at my calendar, it hit me that it was one of God's ways to show me that when I trust Him in my time of "what do I do", "all things are possible" and just work out well!! :D Seeing how that came together just right (oh, the reason it all worked out is because, in that same phone conversation, I found out that I would be off all this week.) it made me feel quite a bit better that God is fully in control of my businesses (I do constantly thank God for what I do). I started to see that as much as I will miss what I do w/ the kids, God has a perfect way of closing one door to lead you through another. So, now I'm pretty excited to see what God has for me next --I'm really wondering if the cupcake shop will happen sooner than expected . . . who knows!

Now, I'm off all week and have plenty of time to work and plan out this cupcake order . . . and then I will get to be w/ the kids one more week --and then we'll just have to plan some visits here and there w/ them! -to keep in touch. :)

You know, I was watching Joel Olsteen Yesterday, I'm just realizing this, what I'm about to share, and in his message, he was talking about how God has a perfect way of preparing you for what's going to come --and we are so clueless to the impact of a situation sometimes (just like my thought I have as my headline: ""Even though things don't always seem to go the way we would like them to . . . what if the impact of a situation is much greater than the requested miracle itself?!"). So, he went on to say that they sold a house and then later got sued by the buyer because of some sewage damage or something. He explained how he was soooo stressed, even though he knew that it wasn't his fault and that he wasn't going to be responsible for the damages . . . he said that it went on for months and months and months and he just couldn't focus sometimes because how heavy the stress was. Well, eventually the lawsuit ended and, as he knew, he wasn't responsible. BUT it wasn't until later when he realized why he was supposed to go through all that drama/mess --he goes on to say that as they were trying to purchase the building, that they are currently in, there was a lawsuit against him -fighting for him NOT to get that building. He said that because he had already been through a 'nonsense' lawsuit, he was not stressed, nervous, or in any way uncomfortable throughout the church building lawsuit --but it's because he had already experience all those emotions during the first lawsuit dealing w/ his house. ...but if he wouldn't have gone through the first bogus lawsuit, he would have felt 'unsure', overwhelmed and stressed about the church building lawsuit. So all in all he explained how God was preparing him for something so much greater. SO, I am now realizing that when I was on vacation for 3 months, I didn't know what to do w/ my time sometimes and then I wondered why in the world I was able to get such a long 'break' from working. I mean, I really enjoyed it --so much that I wondered what life would be if I went back to not working childcare (not that I don't like it or whatever --I just wondered how it would be for life to stay that way --on vacation, I guess.) I would ask myself if i felt that I had learned my lesson on procrastinating and just being lazy w/ my time. I mean, don't get me wrong, when I have something to do as a mother, I get it done. Kryssa is a top priority when it comes to being a Full Time Mom during the day. But when it comes to housework and organizing, I, almost always, wait until the last minute to get things done. I can't stand that about myself and I've always tried to find ways to make that different. **I do realize that this blog is going on and on and if you are still reading at this point --wow, you must be one good friend . . . to care enough about what 'goes' in my mind, heart, life and so on. :) pls let me know who you are -because I sure appreciate you taking the time to hear me out!** So, I do have a point .. ha ha . . . I am starting to realize now that God gave me a practice period, of 3 months, to prepare myself and learn how to prioritize better for what would happen 4 weeks later (4 weeks after starting back up, after my vacation, I will be back to just being a MOM --no more home childcare.). I had no idea, of course. But I am now in awe of the way He just works every thing . . . EVERY THING out!! -and how He's prepared me mentally, emotionally for what's about to happen. I have known that and seen some works and heard it all my life, about how God always works everything out, according to His will, for the Good- for as long as I can remember. But to have an impact such as this one, where it's once again revealed to me in MY life --it's such a confirmation in so many ways. (for those of you who knew what my life was -back in '07, the Trials, tests and challenges, I went through/decisions I faced- that was just another GREAT example to me of GOD's work in my life. I don't know the exact moment that I could 'breathe' again --all I know is that it ALL worked out for the Good. in all those moments of being faced w/ the most important decisions I had EVER been faced with, trusting God and just waiting was all I could do. "Be still" is what gave me peace . . . I knew that whatever decision was made there would be life changing results --it was one of the hardest things that I have ever EVER faced -but here I am in awe, times a thousand!!! I feel that I'm in another "be still moment --wondering what I will do w/ no home childcare after May 2nd. So, I know that this "be still" moment --where a lot is changing right now in my life (not just w/ my businesses)-- is just prepping me for the next phase of my life . . . another chapter of my life (like all that took place in '07 . . . it broke me down and built me back quite differently, ready to face what's ahead.

I guess that in writing this blog, I've found more peace in all that I'm facing right now in my life . . .

Business w/ Yum-Yummies is still going steady and I'm excited to see what more I can do w/ more time during the week . . . (starting in may)

Some fun stuff to share, if you don't already know, is that my FIL bought me a Tilt. I really really like it a LOT!! hee hee. i've never had a smart phone and it's a lot of fun learning everything on it. My new number is (210) 268-3244. I have unlimited texts so that would be the best way to get ahold of me right now --we all share minutes and I DON'T want to be the cause to paying for going over on mins -ha ha. I did that on our last plan . . . :(

I know that this blog is already super duper long --BUT the last thing I want to share --and really really want your input on-- is that there is a puppy up for grabs and we are really considering adopting it. I know, I know!! We just recently had to re-home Skylar. BUT everything about adopting this puppy is so different from when we adopted Skylar. It's a MUCH smaller dog and seeing how I won't be working 30hrs weekly anymore I know that we would now have the time to care for the pup . . . I'm just asking for everyone's input on pros and cons. We have our list and I'm just really trying to be wise about this decision . . .

thanks a bunch!!

April 19, 2008

one sink or two?

Big decision . . .

Chris is at Home Depot and I'm here at home. I just hung up w/ him -trying to decide which to get: A double sink that is 8 1/4 in. deep and one bowl is longer than the other OR a single bowl sink that is 8 1/4 in. deep . . .

So, I'm back...we decided on the double bowl sink. He's finally home and I'm super excited to see a new sink in our kitchen!! He even bought a new faucet set where the spout pulls out to a sprayer and there is a built-in soap dispenser! (I do know that it will probably not happen this weekend

April 16, 2008

Twizzlers, popcorn, and late night movies

I arrived here in Killeen last night around 10:30pm. The drive was nice hill country roads, dark and seemed to never end...

Last night, me and my roomie stayed up until 2am chit chatting!! Geez! and then I had to wake up at 6am and be at the training by 7:30am -it's just right down the road from our hotel

we were "molded" and flooded out!

Oh boy!!! What an experience training was. ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!!

a little about our trip to Maui

So, once again, I didn't blog soon enough to remember what I would have like to share . . . So, today is April 16th and I'm sorry it took this long to share the little bit that I remembered. So, it just kind of stops at the end --because I never came back to it. But I figured I would publish it finally -for those of you who had been asking. I've probably told you more stories about our trip in person than this blog would let you know . . .

Okay, so before too much time passes, I need to blog a bit about Hawaii . . .

we woke up Saturday, March 1st, well I slept until 9:30am and our day started. It was the day before we were to leave and he started our packing! shame on us, I know. ha ha ;) Well, no only did I need to get my packing done, I promised a Yum-Yummies cake to a friend of mine, for her bday (since we weren't even going to be in town to celebrate w/ her!).

Not only did I still need to pack for myself AND Kryssa, and bake and decorate a cake, I still needing to finish my shopping!!! lol, yes, I am a procrastinator -w/out an excuse. I just tend to work better under pressure, for some reason. Well, i just needed to purchase a couple of last minute items --and several hundred dollars later, again *ashamed* I finally returned back home, (even thought I had already spent waaaayyy too much money two days before . . . ) ready to start packing . . .

So, I whipped up the cake and put it in the oven. Then I packed a little until the cake needed to come out. I took the cake out and set it aside to cool -then I went and packed some more. my parents came over some time w/in all that craziness. We enjoyed a meal with them (or, chris did, while I packed away) -I whipped up the frosting and back to more packing. then they took kryssa for HER mini vacation w/ grandma and grandpa . . . it all hit me at that moment -that I wouldn't see her again until FRIDAY!! that's a long time for me . . . well, off they went and time for me to frost and decorate the cake!! We finally delivered the cake at around 8:30pm or so. THEN back home to finish packing!! ha ha . . . I finished packing at around 1am and then jumped in the shower. Chris had already showered and was snoozing by this point. Done showering and ready to do my toenails! LOL, I had to beautify myself for Hawaii, right?! Who cares about sleep . . . I'll get sleep . . . eventually!! After my pedicure, I had to wax up (I do my own waxing -which is really convenient when I need to get it done at 2:30am!!) -OUCH!!!

Jesse, our best friend, our ride to the airport, called -and woke chris up at 3:15am (right on schedule). I rush to get dressed -didn't need to do my hair since I was going to be traveling for 10 hrs- as chris and jess pack up the car. A quick run through to see if we got everything and out the door we go!!! So excited -and VERY nervous.

For some reason, at the last minute, before leaving the house I spray my body spray and toss it in my 'carry-on' bag . . . BIG MISTAKE!! I had no sleep and just wasn't thinking. Because everything else that I had been packing -I MADE SURE to stick to the 3oz liquid rule. :( Well, we pass through the bag check and I was asked to step aside. I thought I was going to be randomly, thoroughly, checked -but no. The lady pulled out my lotion and said it was good, pulled out my contact solution and said it was good . . . then pulled out my full-size, bath&body work, body spray and said it was the problem. I could have bonked myself on the head when I realized what I had done . . . she said I could go back out and HOPE that my luggage was still accessible. She walked me 'out' and off I went. Sadly, my luggage had already been sent off. I HAD TO THROUGH MY BODY SPRAY!!!!!! :( sniffle. I couldn't believe it! I sprayed up w/ it and then chunked it before passing through 'bag check' again. That spray was part of a bday gift from my sis. the sent was 'dancing waters' --a limited edition/seasonal scent. who knows if and when it will be available to purchase again . . . .AH, HOW SAD!!

Anyway, we wait for the food court to open and we ended up being paged to board the plane -it loaded a little before the time we expected and there we were, speeding down to our terminal w/ our food and carry-ons --how entertaining, I'm sure!! ha ha

So, to shorten this up a bit: i located my 'vomit baggy' and i'm set for take off!! ha ha (seriously, though --just in case. cause i get motion sick quite easily . . . ) during the flight, the sweetest compliment was given to us --well, a question in a compliment form: the flight attendant passed to offer drinks and asked us, w/ a big smile and a tinkle in her eye "y'all on your honeymoon?" --hee hee, we looked at each other and gave a huge grin and replied "No, going on 6 yrs of marriage." She mentioned that we look like we just got married or something . . . hee hee! Yay! I'll take that any time!!

We watched August rush on our second flight . . . I didn't get much sleep at all . . . 10 mins here and there. Everyone was right: don't plan on sleeping on the plane. It's just so uncomfortable and you won't really get sleep.

Day 1:

Arrive to pick up luggage and get greeted w/ a beautiful fresh lei.
check in to resort and are blown away w/ the first view -while stepping out of the vehicle. I started crying -due to the BEAUTY!! and thankfulness!!
Day 1 was a 'me and chris' day, entirely. the majority of WaMu peeps were scheduled to arrive the next day (when all the WaMu events would start)

Day 2: Evening welcome ceremony in the evening -luau, buffet, and an awesome show of cultural dancing. :D
we rented/reserved a kayak and then went to purchase water shoes. by the time we got back to our room, ate lunch, changed and covered ourselves w/ sunscreen, and walked back to the beach to get our kayak, we were informed that we wouldn't get the full hour that we paid for because they were closing in 40 mins! we never bothered to ask what time they closed and no one every bothered to inform us either! Grr . . . So, we canceled and said we'd go back the following day. ha ha

We thought to still enjoy the beach and water -since we took so much time getting ready for sun and water . . . but one touch of that COLD ocean water and back we went. LOL we were cracking up the whole way because we are such wimps when it comes to cold water!! ha ha.

Instead, we went to enjoy the serenity pool. it's a very nice, peaceful area. :) the water wasn't as warm as we would have liked it to be BUT we forced ourselves to get in and enjoy it.

Day 3: Group breakfast -yummy fruit, once again!!!!! Amazing weather and views . . .
WaMu "leadership session" --boring but I went to