December 19, 2011

A punch in the gut

Life sure does "happen", huh?  Sometimes it's the best feeling in the world (enjoying life) and sometimes it just unexpectedly punches you right in the gut... Right now, I'm trying to recover from the biggest punch in the gut —EVER (or should I say 'yet'?  I hope it doesn't get worse than this —yikes!)! :(

In order to respect a VIP in my life, I'm sorry, I can't share many details right now.  It's not easy —because my way of 'healing' is mostly through words (spoken and written).  All I know is that I don't know anything at this point.  Everything I thought I knew about life just laughed in my face.  It's a very isolating feeling.  Yes,  I have some great supportive people; however, I'm still the one that has to face everything and figure out a way to manage, to heal, to move on . . . to continue moving forward.

And worst of all, this is supposed to be "the most wonderful time of the year".  Lord knows, I am truly grateful for the many blessings in my life —and I do mean many.  But sometimes it's hard to see how they outweigh the heartache(s) and difficult chapters in life.

December 13, 2011

It's my spine! -kind of important, you'd think.

I had an MRI on Thursday.  Boy oh Boy was that an experience!  I am claustrophobic... enough said?!  I'll just say that the MRI "tunnel", as I like to call it, was the absolute smallest space I have ever had to be in!! :(  I kept my eyes closed and sang all sorts of praise and worship songs in my head.  It was a very long 20 mins.  I survived.

The results:  I have a bulging disc in my lower spine.  I don't know the exact location (like L4 or whatever).  The person who called me didn't seem as informative as I expected.  She just told me "uh, Mrs. Mayfied?  You're MRI results are in and the doctor found that you have a bulging disc.  It's what's causing your pain.  You need to follow up with the pain management specialist.  Do you have any questions?" —UHHH . . . YEAH!! is what I was thinking.  I had to ask about being able to return to work.  I was just told "if pain is manageable, you can return to work".  Really?!  that's all?!  wow.

So, now knowing that something definitely is messed up in there, I was bummed and concerned, of course.  When I called the pain management specialist, the next available appointment, because I am a new patient, isn't until January 12th!!  What am I supposed to do about the pain and stiffness until then?! :(  How frustrating!!

I just don't know what else to do right now --other than continue strong pain meds, that aren't even working anymore... and rest as much as possible.  I plan on working this week.  I'm just not sure exactly which day will be my first.  I'm not sure how I'm going to manage.  I must rely on God —for healing, strength, motivation, and positive thoughts...

I must say, though, I have been absolutely amazed with the wonderful people in my life —such blessings.  They've gone above and beyond.  So kind and thoughtful.  So willing and quick to respond.  I am so blessed and thankful.

December 9, 2011

Out with the old and in with the new...

New way of loving. New way of living. New way of trusting. New way of parenting. New way of taking care of myself. New way of enjoying the holidays...

Here's to the new...

Lord be my light and continue to give me strength.)

December 8, 2011

M-R-ay! ay! ay!

I've been in bed since Tuesday. My back is injured. I don't know what is causing all of this -yet. I have an MRI scheduled for today, Thursday, at 6pm. I'm nervous. The doc scared me when he said that I have been risking paralysis --because I've just been pushing myself even though I can barely hold my own weight up (can barely, and sometimes can't at all, walk, sit, lay, move, laugh... Everything is very very hard to do right now -even just taking in a breath. :(. I pray for answers and some relief to happen soon.

It first happened on November 9 of this year. I went to The emergency room on the 10th, had bed rest until I went back to work on the 15th. It was super tough but it was the newest baby's first day and I really dislike closing. I barely managed. The last week of November was my vacation week and I could barely even take a car ride to buy a Christmas tree with my family. And then, finally, I had two days, December 4th and 5th, of being about 90% back to my norm; and then, because I felt so great, I decided to scrub my oven, on monday, and later sat on the floor with the babies... I was stuck. I couldn't move -again. I had hoped it was just stiff from cleaning and sitting on the floor. But no. I ended up reliving November 9th, and the days to follow.

So, I saw my doc on Tuesday and he said for sure 7 days of bed rest. Then we will go from there --depending if I can move yet or not. The MRI will show whatever is wrong or damaged and then I am scheduled to see a pain management doctor. I have no idea what news tomorrow will bring...

For now, I am taking Norco every 6 hrs and probably gaining 10 pounds a day. Lol. I'm learning to rest and let everything else just be...

(my God-sent, "other half", bff, captured this moment of "rest")

December 5, 2011

Oh-so-delicious Tortilla Soup

I made this tortilla soup last week; it was a HUGE favorite! ;)  I received this recipe from one of my sisters, this past summer (she made it and I just couldn't stop telling her how delicious it was!).  I'm so very thankful for such a yummy soup recipe.

Tortilla Soup

2 tbsp olive oil
1/2 onion, diced
4 or 5 cloves garlic
1 pablano pepper, seeded and diced - you can also use 1 bell pepper along with 1 jalapeno pepper, deseeded and diced
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp ground cumin
1/2 tsp ground coriander
1 or 1 1/2 tbsp tomato paste
6 cups chicken stock (or broth)
1-2 chicken breasts
1/4 bunch fresh cilantro
juice of 1 lime

Boil the chicken breast and set aside to cool. When cooled, shred the chicken into bite size pieces.

In a sauce pan, heat the olive oil on med-high. Add the onions, pepper garlic, salt, cumin and coriander for 5 minutes, stirring regularly. Add the tomato paste and cook for 1 minute and stir. Add the chicken stock and bring to a light boil. When a light boil is achieved, lower to a simmer for 20 minutes stirring from time to time. Add the shredded chicken and simmer for 5 minutes. Add the cilantro and lime juice and stir well. remove from heat and cover to keep warm.

Some people like to add some crumbled tortilla chips to the soup when preparing to serve as well as shredded Monterey Jack cheese. Sliced avocado also goes well with it.