Tears, tears, and more tears...
I thought I would be emotional from the menopur, follistim, ganirelix, etc; instead, I'm emotional while on progesterone. Is that normal? I'm flustered often and feel "blue" most days. So many thoughts run through my head and I work at staying occupied, to avoid more emotions and thoughts.
We are currently down to one car (and it's the one that is in worse condition) —Bummer! Also, we are looking to re-home our adorable German Shepherd puppy, that we got for KJ. —I feel so very sorry for KJ. It's not her fault, nor the puppy's, that my health and capabilities are not where they need to be in order to raise a puppy, her size (approximately 35-40lbs, maybe more?). I can't risk throwing my back out again. I can't risk being layed out from severe endo flare-ups. And most importantly, I can't risk, messing up this round of IVF over a pup —no matter how adorable and fun she can be... The fact of the matter is that she is more than what I can do right now and I don't know what kind of limitations my future may hold.
On top of all the other stuff, I have not been working, so things are getting tighter and tighter right now. I have to say, thankfully, we are in a very good place in our relationship, because last year, all these things, piled on top of one another, we would have been at each others throats, with intense silent treatments, daily —probably. So, praise God for growth and unconditional love!
We got through the first part of "the wait". Now, we just have to make it 'til Saturday... I really think this week will be tougher than the last.
I haven't been sleeping well at all —tossing and turning all night long, with sweaty-hot and shivering-cold flashes. Also, I've been having very intense, uncomfortable, dreams (where I or my family are in danger).
Today is day 22. We are still on 1cc of progesterone, nightly. Tonight was the first night I needed to switch to my left butt cheek. Tonight's injection was our 11th progesterone injection (10 were all on my right side, all bunched up in about the size of a quarter). Last night, I think Chris passed through a blood vessel or something, because it's super duper sore AND has a puffy green bump (reminds me of when I used to pop blood vessels, on my wrist(s), when I used to play volleyball —but on my butt. lol) It HURTS!!! :(
side effects that I've notice:
super sleepy (like needing several hours of a nap during the day to make it through 'til bedtime)
I get crazy "munchies"
Super thristy
sore "boobos"
very irritable
more random endo episodes
...so basically, it's like a very long stretch of PMS (poor Chris and KJ!)
Sorry I haven't been blogging everyday, these past few days. It just feels a little depressing that my only updates, really, are "very emotional again today"... lol I hope it ends soon.
Showing posts with label holiday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label holiday. Show all posts
October 20, 2012
February 14, 2012
Oh, how I love these people
I used to get all excited to celebrate Valentine's day. This year...I was excited. All up until about 5pm today. I had planned a nice fettucini Alfredo, with shrimp, and garlic bread dinner for my loves but I had just wrapped up a full work day...and some serious laundry that I tackled in between schooling and working. And a nice dinner meant I had to clean up first. And I still had to make Choco-berries for my loves (and clean up the evidence before Chris got home). I also had last minute things to do for Chris' gift (a written poem, framed, Choco-berries, and a very special vday card I made). It just hit me ---there's so much work just to have a "nice" evening?! How does that make sense?
So, I called Chris to see if he could pick up dinner (so that my gift to myself would be REST) but that didn't work out. After about 45+ mins of brainstorming on food choices, I got fed up with time passing, when all I wanted to do was spend time with my loves (one was having melt-down after melt-down and the other was out driving around trying to figure out what to pick up for dinner). I told him to just get home and that I would just suck it up and cook.
I made sure to work on my mood and attitude, to make the best of the situation (situation being: I'm tired, my body needs rest, and it's taking a whole LOT of energy for me to keep going at this point). I focused on the positive and whipped up a nice fettucini Alfredo, with shrimp, and garlic bread dinner. I happily gave out gifts, sat and ate, and watched some of the "family" movie we picked out for tonight. Then it took everything I had to get up again and clean everything up -again.
My feet feel like the bones are going to pierce right through the skin. My back actually started hurting again (had been pain free only yesterday and today, since October!) and my eyes were struggling to stay open. But now as I lay here, while everyone else is asleep and resting (I'm waiting for my pain meds to kick in -for my back and endo), I am so happy that God helped me push through all the negative to be able to enjoy some family time...I am blessed to have these two in my life!
So it turned out to be a very nice Valentine's day. All the "work" I complained about was definitely worth it! :)
Anyone else feel like sometimes it's hard to want to "celebrate" when it means more work for you??
Happy Valentine's day.
Good night.
So, I called Chris to see if he could pick up dinner (so that my gift to myself would be REST) but that didn't work out. After about 45+ mins of brainstorming on food choices, I got fed up with time passing, when all I wanted to do was spend time with my loves (one was having melt-down after melt-down and the other was out driving around trying to figure out what to pick up for dinner). I told him to just get home and that I would just suck it up and cook.
I made sure to work on my mood and attitude, to make the best of the situation (situation being: I'm tired, my body needs rest, and it's taking a whole LOT of energy for me to keep going at this point). I focused on the positive and whipped up a nice fettucini Alfredo, with shrimp, and garlic bread dinner. I happily gave out gifts, sat and ate, and watched some of the "family" movie we picked out for tonight. Then it took everything I had to get up again and clean everything up -again.
My feet feel like the bones are going to pierce right through the skin. My back actually started hurting again (had been pain free only yesterday and today, since October!) and my eyes were struggling to stay open. But now as I lay here, while everyone else is asleep and resting (I'm waiting for my pain meds to kick in -for my back and endo), I am so happy that God helped me push through all the negative to be able to enjoy some family time...I am blessed to have these two in my life!
So it turned out to be a very nice Valentine's day. All the "work" I complained about was definitely worth it! :)
Anyone else feel like sometimes it's hard to want to "celebrate" when it means more work for you??
Happy Valentine's day.
Good night.
January 1, 2012
At a glance
As I scroll through facebook today, I see many posts that are starting with "What a great way to start off 2012...". This is the first year that I'm thinking "What's the big deal, people?!! It's just another year!..." I am normally the optimist . . . I hope I get back to the 'normal' me soon. :( It's exhausting feeling this blue.
This is the biggest life change I've ever encountered as an adult. It's changed me —I'm not someone I would even want to be around right now. ha! I don't blame others if they walk away from me thinking, "Geesh! What's her problem?!" I don't remember a simple smile feeling like such hard work...
If I had to look back on 2011 and remember some great moments, I would choose to remember:
My hubby's heart beating normally again
Getting the opportunity to sing again
The birth of my little nephew
Meeting a wonderful new bff
Having the chance to parent a teen
Paying off our second car
Loving all the little babies that have come into my life
Learning so much more about KJ
...I'm sure there are many more -but those are what come to mind right away...
What I hope for 2012:
Major positive changes in my relationship(s)
A beautiful new baby
To stand on my own two feet
To be debt free
I look forward to trusting and loving fully again
I WILL find the "ME" that is meant to be
So, as I start 2012, looking in every direction for any signs of hope and encouragement, I know my only way to start this year off right is to rely fully on God —to trust and love Him with everything I am —to learn to be still and let Him lead my every step.
Here's to 2012. Happy New Year.
This is the biggest life change I've ever encountered as an adult. It's changed me —I'm not someone I would even want to be around right now. ha! I don't blame others if they walk away from me thinking, "Geesh! What's her problem?!" I don't remember a simple smile feeling like such hard work...
If I had to look back on 2011 and remember some great moments, I would choose to remember:
My hubby's heart beating normally again
Getting the opportunity to sing again
The birth of my little nephew
Meeting a wonderful new bff
Having the chance to parent a teen
Paying off our second car
Loving all the little babies that have come into my life
Learning so much more about KJ
...I'm sure there are many more -but those are what come to mind right away...
What I hope for 2012:
Major positive changes in my relationship(s)
A beautiful new baby
To stand on my own two feet
To be debt free
I look forward to trusting and loving fully again
I WILL find the "ME" that is meant to be
So, as I start 2012, looking in every direction for any signs of hope and encouragement, I know my only way to start this year off right is to rely fully on God —to trust and love Him with everything I am —to learn to be still and let Him lead my every step.
Here's to 2012. Happy New Year.
February 17, 2011
There's something in the air
2/17/11 updated "28 reasons why I love you"
I have to admit, now that we are on day 17, it's getting a bit harder to find specifics and not just "I love you!" I love all sorts of things about him but to pick ONE to post everyday is a challenge...
I love that you let me talk your ear off.
4. I love that you bring "surprises" even while doing the most routine errand --grocery shopping.
5.
I love your confidence!
2/2/11
Ah, that's right . . . LOVE.
I absolutely LOVE this month. Here are just a few of my reasons:
1. It's the most interesting month because its' only consistency is that it is not consistent (in it's number of days) like all the other months.
2. Valentine's day —yes, every day should be about showing love and thinking of others, and so on. But, I just love the fact that there is one particular day (or week, or weekend) where someone makes the time to plan something for their loved one(s).
3. This is the month that my dad welcomed my wonderful husband into the family. Valentine's day 2002. Totally unexpected. I will never forget that exact moment when he acknowledged him as his "future son-in-law". :)
4. I love that I can go to the stores and find an endless amount of cute lovey-dovey items to decorate my house with!
5. I love the excitement of Groundhog Day. :) (really, I do!)
Just recently, Chris asked me, "Why do you love me?". Do you have your moments where you find yourself wanting to see what your "other half" sees in you? Well, I totally get where he was coming from when he asked me. Sometimes you just want to hear it all over again. :) So, I've decided to create a list for him throughout this month. By the end of the month, he will have a total of 28 reminders of why I love him/what I love about him. I know that I love him. I know how deeply in love I am with him. But taking the time to put it into words gives me a tingle inside . . . that "puppy love", "young love", newly married love. I enjoy that feeling! It reminds me to praise God for every moment of our journey together.
So, I'll admit that I've had this idea in my head for a long time now and just couldn't figure out how to tell him all the reasons without it being too corny (well I guess I can't tell him all of them . . . new ones keep popping up as time goes by) . So, I have an opportunity now but I just started it today; I wish I would have started yesterday. So, I posted two for him today:
Here's a challenge: Express your love to 'your love' during the next 28 days. C'mon, what's the worse that can happen? You fall deeper in love? ;)
With much love,
Michelle
I have to admit, now that we are on day 17, it's getting a bit harder to find specifics and not just "I love you!" I love all sorts of things about him but to pick ONE to post everyday is a challenge...
1.
I love that you let me talk your ear off.
4. I love that you bring "surprises" even while doing the most routine errand --grocery shopping.
5.
I love your confidence!
Ah, that's right . . . LOVE.
I absolutely LOVE this month. Here are just a few of my reasons:
1. It's the most interesting month because its' only consistency is that it is not consistent (in it's number of days) like all the other months.
2. Valentine's day —yes, every day should be about showing love and thinking of others, and so on. But, I just love the fact that there is one particular day (or week, or weekend) where someone makes the time to plan something for their loved one(s).
3. This is the month that my dad welcomed my wonderful husband into the family. Valentine's day 2002. Totally unexpected. I will never forget that exact moment when he acknowledged him as his "future son-in-law". :)
4. I love that I can go to the stores and find an endless amount of cute lovey-dovey items to decorate my house with!
5. I love the excitement of Groundhog Day. :) (really, I do!)
Just recently, Chris asked me, "Why do you love me?". Do you have your moments where you find yourself wanting to see what your "other half" sees in you? Well, I totally get where he was coming from when he asked me. Sometimes you just want to hear it all over again. :) So, I've decided to create a list for him throughout this month. By the end of the month, he will have a total of 28 reminders of why I love him/what I love about him. I know that I love him. I know how deeply in love I am with him. But taking the time to put it into words gives me a tingle inside . . . that "puppy love", "young love", newly married love. I enjoy that feeling! It reminds me to praise God for every moment of our journey together.
So, I'll admit that I've had this idea in my head for a long time now and just couldn't figure out how to tell him all the reasons without it being too corny (well I guess I can't tell him all of them . . . new ones keep popping up as time goes by) . So, I have an opportunity now but I just started it today; I wish I would have started yesterday. So, I posted two for him today:
1.
What are you planning for that "special" someone? What are your favorite things to do during February?
Here's a challenge: Express your love to 'your love' during the next 28 days. C'mon, what's the worse that can happen? You fall deeper in love? ;)
With much love,
Michelle
January 4, 2011
I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Christmas has come and gone . . . and not a single post from me. :( Shame, Shame!
I finally made the shirt I wanted for Christmas 2009 (something similar to what I had wanted)
What I would have loved to have:
I finally made the shirt I wanted for Christmas 2009 (something similar to what I had wanted)
What I would have loved to have:
What I was able to make at the last minute:
KJ's Shirt
What I would have loved to be able to make:
What I was able to make for her at the last minute:
(she lost her two front bottom teeth at the right time of the year --to really enjoy it!)
We had a wonderful Christmas!
May 10, 2010
Motherly quality time
I had a very nice mother's day. Chris, Kryssa, and I spent all day at my parent's house. My dad was in bed the whole day -due to knee and hip pain :(
I made yummy orange french toast with homemade orange syrup!, bacon, eggs, and a side of mangos, strawberries, and pineapple. Oh, I wish I could gobble up fruit right now.
We hung out and munched on some baked goodies. Then we made chicken taco for dinner --again, YUM!!!
After dinner, we played monopoly. Tons-o-fun. :) KJ won with over $14,000!
I came home to catch up on all the housework -preparing for work the next day . . . only to get a bitter sweet voicemail that the baby is sick still and won't be coming. So, I was surprised with a day off -again. It got me all excited because I knew I could stay up late!! hee hee
I made yummy orange french toast with homemade orange syrup!, bacon, eggs, and a side of mangos, strawberries, and pineapple. Oh, I wish I could gobble up fruit right now.
We hung out and munched on some baked goodies. Then we made chicken taco for dinner --again, YUM!!!
After dinner, we played monopoly. Tons-o-fun. :) KJ won with over $14,000!
I came home to catch up on all the housework -preparing for work the next day . . . only to get a bitter sweet voicemail that the baby is sick still and won't be coming. So, I was surprised with a day off -again. It got me all excited because I knew I could stay up late!! hee hee
December 8, 2009
nothing to share...
I should be working. I got to work from home yesterday -didn't get much "work" done. I get to work from home again today (all week, I think) --I really need to get some work done today! I have a deadline tomorrow and then another on Friday. ((sigh))
KJ's doing soooo much better in school these days! Oh, and since my last blog, I've been chosen to be the "Room Parent" for KJ's class. It's like a part-time job all on its own. Right now I just have to focus on the Winter Party that will take place on Friday, Dec. 18th. I am off from work that day --originally to decorate cake/cupcakes for Jo's first bday party. Now, I have to make time to attend and host KJ's Winter Party and then head to Austin to decorate desserts. :) Fun! KJ will LOVE going to Austin!
We are back in our "should we move out of SA and have another house built or should we stay and change up some things on our house . . . or should we move but stay in SA?!" debate/pros and cons.
Christmas is just creeping up on us! It just hit me the other day --how people say, "time flies when you have a child". I SO get it now!! It's not just because you are watching a little life grow up and form. It's because as they grow up there are sooo many different things going on all at once. Deadlines, conferences, report cards, homework, field trips, lunches, clothes, rewards, etc. --there's not much time to just sit back and enjoy a day. Thanksgiving c, ame and went and I didn't even realize it was happening until the week of. Only because KJ was on vacation. I've been so busy with keeping up with her in school and my full time job and family time that I haven't had time to actually "count down" to the holidays. Before KJ was in school, I looked forward to the Holidays because it was something different and special that took place in that year. Well, now there are so many other different, special, new things taking place in this year that I have to balance it all out. The Holidays don't seem to JUMP out at me this year . . . KJ's first report card does... KJ's first school party does... Planning and looking forward to a special family outing on a weekend does... It's just so strange. I really was so unaware of what others meant when they would say "enjoy it. They grow up so fast." She's like a little busy bee and she's only in Kinder. I have a whole calendar just for KJ and she's not even in any extra curricular activities -like dance, karate, et. It's all just school (picture days, yearbook orders, homework packets, reading logs, sight words to study, holiday projects, field trips, spirit days!! Geez . . . there's soooo much to remember allll the time!!!!! lol
Im really looking forward to the Holidays just to be able to have some time off from work. I'll have more time to be with Chris and KJ. Right now, I wake up to get KJ ready for school, make her breakfast, pack her lunch, and take her to school by 7:45am. Then I see her again at 7pm or so. :( Then her bed time is at 8pm. By the time I get home, most of the time, she is already done with dinner and homework and in the bath getting ready for bed. Such a bummer! Really! I do enjoy my down time before my 9pm or 10pm bedtime. However, I really really look forward to my weekends with my family --and days off. :) Chris, on the other hand, gets off as early as 3:45pm and gets to pick her up and be with her after school. He's also had 3 weeks of vacation, spread out, since her first week of school!! He's about to have another during Christmas break. Lucky him! haha. My "vacation time" doesn't kick in until January.
So, Christmas is just days away and I'm here brainstorming about how to work it all out. :)
Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving; Merry Christmas! Happy 2010!
KJ's doing soooo much better in school these days! Oh, and since my last blog, I've been chosen to be the "Room Parent" for KJ's class. It's like a part-time job all on its own. Right now I just have to focus on the Winter Party that will take place on Friday, Dec. 18th. I am off from work that day --originally to decorate cake/cupcakes for Jo's first bday party. Now, I have to make time to attend and host KJ's Winter Party and then head to Austin to decorate desserts. :) Fun! KJ will LOVE going to Austin!
We are back in our "should we move out of SA and have another house built or should we stay and change up some things on our house . . . or should we move but stay in SA?!" debate/pros and cons.
Christmas is just creeping up on us! It just hit me the other day --how people say, "time flies when you have a child". I SO get it now!! It's not just because you are watching a little life grow up and form. It's because as they grow up there are sooo many different things going on all at once. Deadlines, conferences, report cards, homework, field trips, lunches, clothes, rewards, etc. --there's not much time to just sit back and enjoy a day. Thanksgiving c, ame and went and I didn't even realize it was happening until the week of. Only because KJ was on vacation. I've been so busy with keeping up with her in school and my full time job and family time that I haven't had time to actually "count down" to the holidays. Before KJ was in school, I looked forward to the Holidays because it was something different and special that took place in that year. Well, now there are so many other different, special, new things taking place in this year that I have to balance it all out. The Holidays don't seem to JUMP out at me this year . . . KJ's first report card does... KJ's first school party does... Planning and looking forward to a special family outing on a weekend does... It's just so strange. I really was so unaware of what others meant when they would say "enjoy it. They grow up so fast." She's like a little busy bee and she's only in Kinder. I have a whole calendar just for KJ and she's not even in any extra curricular activities -like dance, karate, et. It's all just school (picture days, yearbook orders, homework packets, reading logs, sight words to study, holiday projects, field trips, spirit days!! Geez . . . there's soooo much to remember allll the time!!!!! lol
Im really looking forward to the Holidays just to be able to have some time off from work. I'll have more time to be with Chris and KJ. Right now, I wake up to get KJ ready for school, make her breakfast, pack her lunch, and take her to school by 7:45am. Then I see her again at 7pm or so. :( Then her bed time is at 8pm. By the time I get home, most of the time, she is already done with dinner and homework and in the bath getting ready for bed. Such a bummer! Really! I do enjoy my down time before my 9pm or 10pm bedtime. However, I really really look forward to my weekends with my family --and days off. :) Chris, on the other hand, gets off as early as 3:45pm and gets to pick her up and be with her after school. He's also had 3 weeks of vacation, spread out, since her first week of school!! He's about to have another during Christmas break. Lucky him! haha. My "vacation time" doesn't kick in until January.
So, Christmas is just days away and I'm here brainstorming about how to work it all out. :)
Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving; Merry Christmas! Happy 2010!
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