June 20, 2008

My new best friend

So, we meet, once again.
18 months that you've been gone.
What a bitter sweet reunion.
I didn't think I'd see you around so soon.
I feel like it's the right decision though.

Please be good to me.
Keep me balanced.
Don't overwhelm me.
Don't drain me.
Don't keep me from 'lovin'.

You're one part of my life that must stay consistent.
I'll depend on you only for a while.
Let's not get to comfortable
Because the time will come when we must part, once again.

Figured it out yet? LOL. I'm working on accepting my current situation (one of them at least) --w/ a sense of humor!! haha --So, for those of you who have figured it out . . . you're either cracking up or rolling your eyes (Chris is still laughing at me, yes, AT ME! He says "I'm not making fun of you; You're cute!" --but I know he's making fun of me!! ha ha. I don't care. I'm making light of how I really feel.) LOL. For those of you who have no idea what this is about, I started my BC today. Yay! :) and Boo! :( all at the same time.

Doc says it should really 'take care' of the pain I've been dealing w/ (my right ovary has been very mean to me!) -so Yay to that. Also, this will help us do our best in planning the next couple/several years.

I did shed my tears today. I had no idea it would happen. When the doc asked why we decided to get back on BC and stop TTC, I started talking about it a bit and then just told him that it's a bit emotional for me . . . so he quickly switched subjects. :) What a great doc! Really, he is! Then I gave my usual updates to my mom and sis but when my mom heard sadness in my voice she kindly asked, "you doin' okay, mija?" --and then I broke. Just a bit. It's settling, finally. Something I AM very thankful for: My WONDERFUL doc gave me 2 months of BC. That saves us $100!!! Yes, the BC I choose to take costs $50 a month! :( But thank God we just saved $100!! And he said that if the pain doesn't start getting better w/in the month that I should go back and see him and he would keep monitoring my ovaries (I think I've already mentioned that the cysts had started to come back. Well today, because I mentioned how much pain I've been in, daily, he checked my ovaries and my right (the one causing all the miserable pain) has several cysts -5 times bigger than what the left ovary has! :( - **I just realized this might be making some of you cringe . . . sorry! ha ha** ANYWAY!! If I have to go back and see him, I know him, he'll give me more "samples" of my BC -hee hee!! :D But God willing I won't have to go back.

So my silly poem is one way of accepting my new pills . . . instead of fertility pills, i should have been starting today, I walked away w/ the complete opposite. haha.

It is what it is now and I WILL make the best of it. I'm ready . . . Let's get packing for Disney World!! ha ha!!


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