April 21, 2008

changes

**Just so you know, this blog is quite longer than usual . . . if you don't make it all the way through, please, at least jump down to the bottom, what's in bold, and respond and share your input --at least for that section. Please and thank you. :)


I told a couple of you that I would blog --so that I don't repeat myself, explaining one of my 'status messages' (said something like "just found some news out and now I have a LOT to think about . . .")

So, I normally blog about our ttc updates because stuff in our daily life had basically been staying the same. Not personally -like we haven't just been zombies -- we were just having a steady, constant, flow of regularity (does that make sense?!) And also, there are just some things I choose not to blog about. :) My point, now I have something to blog about, an update of our daily lives . . . what goes on. :)

A lot of things are happening; seems like they are 'lay low' issues, happening 'under the radar'. Meaning that they impact our lives suddenly and very gradually --at the same time!! ha ha. So, confusing, it seems. As I'm typing this, I'm thinking "this makes no sense what so ever!!!" ha ha. But it's the way it seems to me . . . and a lot needs to be thought out in order to make some sense of it --decisions/solutions.

The day I changed my status, that mentioned some "news", it was the day I got word that the kids I currently watch will soon be staying home w/ their mom. Which I am really excited for the family because I really enjoying being home w/ Kryssa and soaking up alllll the mommy moments, you know?! Plus, as a mom, when you want to be at home w/ your kids and finally get the opportunity to do so, it's a VERY rewarding and a life changing, exciting moment!! So, my joy went out to the family. THEN I sat there, after the phone conversation, and so many other thoughts started to swirl in . . . "I'm really going to miss not seeing them as much as I do right now.", "not having that extra income will make a difference", "Kryssa's going to miss having company/playmates 3 times a week", "it's been great, overwhelming, rewarding all in one package . . . but what now?!", "Oh, well, this will give me more time to focus on Yum-Yummies!" (if we could 'open shop' by the end of this year, early next year, that would be AMAZING!!!) . . . so, I had a LOT on my mind. But then I realized that it was a God sent in one area (that I can see right now): I had accepted a 5 dz. order for the 28th and I had planned on just starting the order Thursday evening (after the work day) and working all the way through, until I finished, and then just pump myself w/ caffeine to work at 8am Friday morning. Plus, I was going to see if my FIL could delivery the order --seeing how I would be working all day Friday w/ the kids. SO . . . as I sat and stared at my calendar, it hit me that it was one of God's ways to show me that when I trust Him in my time of "what do I do", "all things are possible" and just work out well!! :D Seeing how that came together just right (oh, the reason it all worked out is because, in that same phone conversation, I found out that I would be off all this week.) it made me feel quite a bit better that God is fully in control of my businesses (I do constantly thank God for what I do). I started to see that as much as I will miss what I do w/ the kids, God has a perfect way of closing one door to lead you through another. So, now I'm pretty excited to see what God has for me next --I'm really wondering if the cupcake shop will happen sooner than expected . . . who knows!

Now, I'm off all week and have plenty of time to work and plan out this cupcake order . . . and then I will get to be w/ the kids one more week --and then we'll just have to plan some visits here and there w/ them! -to keep in touch. :)

You know, I was watching Joel Olsteen Yesterday, I'm just realizing this, what I'm about to share, and in his message, he was talking about how God has a perfect way of preparing you for what's going to come --and we are so clueless to the impact of a situation sometimes (just like my thought I have as my headline: ""Even though things don't always seem to go the way we would like them to . . . what if the impact of a situation is much greater than the requested miracle itself?!"). So, he went on to say that they sold a house and then later got sued by the buyer because of some sewage damage or something. He explained how he was soooo stressed, even though he knew that it wasn't his fault and that he wasn't going to be responsible for the damages . . . he said that it went on for months and months and months and he just couldn't focus sometimes because how heavy the stress was. Well, eventually the lawsuit ended and, as he knew, he wasn't responsible. BUT it wasn't until later when he realized why he was supposed to go through all that drama/mess --he goes on to say that as they were trying to purchase the building, that they are currently in, there was a lawsuit against him -fighting for him NOT to get that building. He said that because he had already been through a 'nonsense' lawsuit, he was not stressed, nervous, or in any way uncomfortable throughout the church building lawsuit --but it's because he had already experience all those emotions during the first lawsuit dealing w/ his house. ...but if he wouldn't have gone through the first bogus lawsuit, he would have felt 'unsure', overwhelmed and stressed about the church building lawsuit. So all in all he explained how God was preparing him for something so much greater. SO, I am now realizing that when I was on vacation for 3 months, I didn't know what to do w/ my time sometimes and then I wondered why in the world I was able to get such a long 'break' from working. I mean, I really enjoyed it --so much that I wondered what life would be if I went back to not working childcare (not that I don't like it or whatever --I just wondered how it would be for life to stay that way --on vacation, I guess.) I would ask myself if i felt that I had learned my lesson on procrastinating and just being lazy w/ my time. I mean, don't get me wrong, when I have something to do as a mother, I get it done. Kryssa is a top priority when it comes to being a Full Time Mom during the day. But when it comes to housework and organizing, I, almost always, wait until the last minute to get things done. I can't stand that about myself and I've always tried to find ways to make that different. **I do realize that this blog is going on and on and if you are still reading at this point --wow, you must be one good friend . . . to care enough about what 'goes' in my mind, heart, life and so on. :) pls let me know who you are -because I sure appreciate you taking the time to hear me out!** So, I do have a point .. ha ha . . . I am starting to realize now that God gave me a practice period, of 3 months, to prepare myself and learn how to prioritize better for what would happen 4 weeks later (4 weeks after starting back up, after my vacation, I will be back to just being a MOM --no more home childcare.). I had no idea, of course. But I am now in awe of the way He just works every thing . . . EVERY THING out!! -and how He's prepared me mentally, emotionally for what's about to happen. I have known that and seen some works and heard it all my life, about how God always works everything out, according to His will, for the Good- for as long as I can remember. But to have an impact such as this one, where it's once again revealed to me in MY life --it's such a confirmation in so many ways. (for those of you who knew what my life was -back in '07, the Trials, tests and challenges, I went through/decisions I faced- that was just another GREAT example to me of GOD's work in my life. I don't know the exact moment that I could 'breathe' again --all I know is that it ALL worked out for the Good. in all those moments of being faced w/ the most important decisions I had EVER been faced with, trusting God and just waiting was all I could do. "Be still" is what gave me peace . . . I knew that whatever decision was made there would be life changing results --it was one of the hardest things that I have ever EVER faced -but here I am in awe, times a thousand!!! I feel that I'm in another "be still moment --wondering what I will do w/ no home childcare after May 2nd. So, I know that this "be still" moment --where a lot is changing right now in my life (not just w/ my businesses)-- is just prepping me for the next phase of my life . . . another chapter of my life (like all that took place in '07 . . . it broke me down and built me back quite differently, ready to face what's ahead.

I guess that in writing this blog, I've found more peace in all that I'm facing right now in my life . . .

Business w/ Yum-Yummies is still going steady and I'm excited to see what more I can do w/ more time during the week . . . (starting in may)

Some fun stuff to share, if you don't already know, is that my FIL bought me a Tilt. I really really like it a LOT!! hee hee. i've never had a smart phone and it's a lot of fun learning everything on it. My new number is (210) 268-3244. I have unlimited texts so that would be the best way to get ahold of me right now --we all share minutes and I DON'T want to be the cause to paying for going over on mins -ha ha. I did that on our last plan . . . :(

I know that this blog is already super duper long --BUT the last thing I want to share --and really really want your input on-- is that there is a puppy up for grabs and we are really considering adopting it. I know, I know!! We just recently had to re-home Skylar. BUT everything about adopting this puppy is so different from when we adopted Skylar. It's a MUCH smaller dog and seeing how I won't be working 30hrs weekly anymore I know that we would now have the time to care for the pup . . . I'm just asking for everyone's input on pros and cons. We have our list and I'm just really trying to be wise about this decision . . .

thanks a bunch!!
:)

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