June 27, 2010

Who felt worse?

Today, our very good friend, Ciara, got married.  :)  I had the honor of singing during the ceremony.  I was nervous beyond belief (I haven't sung in front of others in waaaay too long) and when I got through the ceremony without passing out, I was ready to relax and enjoy the rest of the celebrations.

All that changed when we sat at a table, at the reception, and I was flat out asked, "So, when are you due?"  HA!!  I asked, "excuse me?!" (just making sure I heard her correctly) and she actually stalled a bit and then asked "are you expecting?" or "you're expecting, right?".  I, blinked, took a deep breath, smiled and kindly said "No."

I HATE SMALL TALK WITH STRANGERS!!!  I really don't like social events.  Must I explain any further?  People pulling random things out of the air -just to fill dead space.  Why must we talk?!  Can't we just sit at the same table and enjoy the reception without pretending that we care where we grew up, what we do for a living, how many kids we have, etc.?!?!  ugh.

I wanted to leave.  I really wonder who felt worse --the person that just put her foot in her mouth or the person that is desperately trying to conceive and just got called out for having a round figure.  :(  I felt bad for her . . . and I felt like crying for me.

I excused myself to go to the restroom to share the 'laugh' and awkward moment with my mom (I really just wanted to hide there for a while).  My mom was so kind with her words.  We both agreed that "maybe it's a sign" that it's coming soon for us...

About 20 mins later her and her husband excused themselves and left.  I was really relieved.  I don't know that I would have been able to suck that one up and enjoy the rest of my time with the happy Mr. and Mrs. Charles.  It still took me about and hour to shake it off and enjoy the celebration.

My husband was careful around me and handled it really well --with giving me a big hug and helping me get my mind off of it.  I know if I wasn't trying to conceive that I would have more than likely laughed it off and not even have been bothered by the question.  But that wasn't the case.  For the last week and a half, I have been calming myself as much as possible and reminding myself to trust God's timing with expanding our family.  I've been trying to focus on anything other than the fact that I'm so anxious to test again, after this last cycle.  So, Chris understood my hidden tears.  I could have just sobbed right then and there.

So, I just want to share with you another way to ask the same question and avoid a situation like this one.  :)
Choice one: "How many children do you have?" (if I were answering that question, and pregnant, I would respond by saying "we have one and one on the way")
Choice two:  "Planning on having any more children?" (if I were answering this question, and pregnant, I would respond by saying "Yup!  We have one on the way!")

Has this ever happened to you? (on either side of the situation)

How would you ask --without assuming the person's belly is a 'baby bump'?

Please share your stories . . . I'd love to know I'm not the only one.

Thanks to this lady, I'll probably test every day for the next two weeks!  ;)  (not really, but it will be hard to resist)

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