May 31, 2007

What a dissappointment!!

So here's the update -from the appointment:
So, May 1st, I was told that the 31st, today, was the soonest that I could be seen and then I found out that my doctor is leaving the practice (her husband is military and is being relocated).  I was sooooo heartbroken so I schedule to see her today so that she could help us out with some issues and concerns regaurding our second child.  WELL . . . I get there and wait an entire hour to find out that my appt. had been cancelled!!!!!  Oh MY!!!!  I can't even express how emotionally UPSET I was.  When I first got there to sign in, they couldn't find my chart but said that my doctor was backed up and that's probably why.  So, I have a seat and about 20 mins later, I go up and ask if they found it and how much longer my wait was going to be (Chris was at work waiting for my phone call -to tell him that the doctor is going to see me soon- so that he could drive down the road and meet me there) -I was told that only one person was ahead of me and then I would be next.  I sit for another 20 mins or so and then I hear my name called out from the lady that I checked in with, not the nurse to call me to see the doctor.  I go up there and she asks me if had called to cancel my appointment.  I tell her no and then realize that the 'worst' thing is happening . . . she then tells me that she found my chart but my appointment wasn't scheduled in the system -"It seems as though it has been cancelled."  I explain that I did not cancel the appointment; that I have been waiting allll month long to see the doctor.  I also tell her that I worked everything out to make child care arrangments and arrangments w/ my work and that it is very important that I see my doctor because I understand that she is leaving the practice in June, "This was the only appointment available so I took it even though it was an entire month's wait.  How could something like this happen?!"  She then tells me that she is sorry and she understands and that she will see what can be worked out "We'll figure a way to work this out for you Mrs. Mayfield."  So, I go and wait some more -I guess it was about another 20 mins or so and then a different lady calls my name, she was the office manager -so I knew what that meant . . .
She tells me that she is really sorry but "I understand that you were late for you appt. and Dr. ____ is running behind and there's no way to squeeze you in.  You won't be able to see her today.  The only thing we can do for you is -"you can see the nurse for you exam."  Oh, that upset me even more.  I wasn't there for a darn exam!! They had no idea what was going on.  And instead of just saying 'sorry, we messed up' -no, they make excuses and try to make it seem like all this happened because I was 15 mins late!!  I told her, "It doesn't matter that I was late.  I signed in and no one said anything other than there was someone ahead of me and then I would be next.  So, wether I showed up early, on time, or late, my appointment still wouldn't have been there.  Someone is responsible for this because I called May first and made this appointment . . ."  I just went on and on until I couldn't speak anymore -I was fighting back the tears.  To me, not seeing my doctor today was almost like being told that I can't have a child right now . . . like that opportunity was being revoked right then and there -by people that didn't seem to show any concern!!!
So, needless to say, my eyes have been super tired and blood shot from crying my heart out (several hours after it all happened and then any time I've thought or talked about it since then).  Because not only had my appt. been mysteriously cancelled, my doc couldn't squeeze me in, and the people tried to have me see the nurse for something that I wasn't even there for --- BUT I was also told that she doesn't have any more appts. available before she leaves -so I will never ever see her again!!  Now, not every one can understand how emotional that is for me -but basically she was more like my personal specialist, my friend almost.  When I was hospitalized, during my pregnancy, I was there for a total of five weeks and when she could, after her rounds or even just after her shift in the office, she would come by and chit chat and see how I was doing.  Now, how many docs do you know of that show that much care and concern towards their patients?!?  I had been looking forward to this appt. allllll month long and the nerves started last night and got so much worse today only to be hit in the face w/ a horrible mis-hap.  I was prepared for the 'worst case scenario' during the appt -not the worst case scenerio of still not knowing what we're going to do :( !!!So, it's really been a super emotional day . . . really tough for me to do what I have to .  .  . I've just wanted to go and cuddle in bed alllllll evening . . . and now that it's night time, I don't want to go lay in bed and think about everything.  Ugh, I say that I'm giving it to God and then I feel as though I have it on a bungee cord . . . I really need to just let it go and focus on what I have right in front of me.  God's been so good to me and my family.  We are blessed in so many different ways.  Chris tells me to just think about it this way: we are going to Vegas real soon; so, it's not like I want to be pregnant while in Vegas -which is 75% true.  Then he is working on meeting all the goals he needs so that he can win a Hawaii trip from his work . . .another vacation that I might not want to be pregnant during -again, pretty true.
All I know is that we are so ready for another little baby to join our family.  I think the hardest part of sitting in that waiting room for an hour was seeing all those pregnant women -it made me remember when I would go there w/ Kryssa in my tummy -so many memories that I really look forward to experiencing again . . . soon; real soon!

*Oh, so, now I have to choose another doctor to start working with.  After I make my decision, then I'll have to wait for his availability for an appointment.  I sure hope it's not another month . . .I just pray that the one that I am considering will be as caring as she was . . .

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