At a glance

As I scroll through facebook today, I see many posts that are starting with "What a great way to start off 2012...".  This is the first year that I'm thinking "What's the big deal, people?!!  It's just another year!..."  I am normally the optimist . . . I hope I get back to the 'normal' me soon.  :(  It's exhausting feeling this blue.

This is the biggest life change I've ever encountered as an adult.  It's changed me —I'm not someone I would even want to be around right now.  ha!  I don't blame others if they walk away from me thinking, "Geesh!  What's her problem?!"  I don't remember a simple smile feeling like such hard work...

If I had to look back on 2011 and remember some great moments, I would choose to remember:
My hubby's heart beating normally again
Getting the opportunity to sing again
The birth of my little nephew
Meeting a wonderful new bff
Having the chance to parent a teen
Paying off our second car
Loving all the little babies that have come into my life
Learning so much more about KJ

...I'm sure there are many more -but those are what come to mind right away...

What I hope for 2012:
Major positive changes in my relationship(s)
A beautiful new baby
To stand on my own two feet
To be debt free
I look forward to trusting and loving fully again
I WILL find the "ME" that is meant to be

So, as I start 2012, looking in every direction for any signs of hope and encouragement, I know my only way to start this year off right is to rely fully on God —to trust and love Him with everything I am —to learn to be still and let Him lead my every step.

Here's to 2012.  Happy New Year.