March 12, 2014

You're unwelcome here

Dear Endo,

I do not appreciate the fact that you force your way into my life.  I have had enough of you already; yet, you just continue to take, take, take, from me.  

Today, for instance, you took advantage of the fact that I was already flustered, packing up, trying to take a road trip.  You thought it was great timing to disrupt my activity.  You put a sudden halt to everything.  All I was doing was buckling up some car seats.  What is supposed to be such a simple task led to gut wrenching pain (shooting down my hip --it felt as if someone was trying to twist my leg right off!).  I refused to move while you overstayed your unwelcomed visit.  I sat and tried to ignore you, but you were determined to get my attention.  The overwhelming hot flash kicked in when the pain hit its' peak and my blood pressure rose as I sat, flustered, in pain. 

I guess it's just not enough for you that you have already forced your way into the last 19 years of my life, bombarded my life with infertility and then secondary infertility.  You limit my everyday 'normal' activities and you wedge your ugly self in my intimate life as well.  Don't you see, Endo, you're not going to win?!  I refuse to let you drag me down.  Sure, you get my undivided attention when you want, but it doesn't mean you rule my life, you know.  Some day, somehow, some incredible discovery will come around and I, along with many, many, other women, will not only cry tears of joy as I rid you from my life for good, I will laugh in your face, sing and shout with joy, and I will never, ever, EVER, have to sit back and let you push me around again!

I'll never give up.
Yours truly,
Michelle/Endo Warrior/Daily Survivor/Mom of three beautiful miracles

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