January 24, 2011

Back so soon?!

It was exciting while it lasted . . . being "late", I mean.  I, unfortunately, got my 'Day 1' today.  I was 3 days late and I was loving every moment.  But it came to a sudden halt...

Yes, I cried a bit.  I didn't expect it at all!  I find myself wondering if it's because I literally ran KJ to the bus stop this morning —was that too much for my body to handle?  or did I really just not conceive again?!  (I'm sure it really had nothing to do with running; but after all the [little bit of] running, my stomach started cramping up really bad, endo pains and all!  I knew I shouldn't have over exerted myself --just because I'm so out of shape and the endo is not nice to me at all when it comes to being 'active' in any way.  :(

So, I'm honestly not excited for my appointment, this Friday, at all.  I don't see the point in going and seeing my empty uterus, again, for what feels like the millionth time (it's probably more along the 20th time or something —18 months of ttc from '07-'08 + the current 9 months of ttc).  Do I reeeeeally have to go and test my emotions?!  :(  I don't wanna!! ::stomping foot, arms crossed::

I cried when I told my hunny . . . because I know how much he would have loved for me to tell him that I saw TWO babies on the ultrasound!! hee hee :)  He was, once again, sweet, loving, and encouraging.  I guess it's not the end of the world.  KJ starts her swim lessons back up tomorrow, Pickle is staying with us this week —so her basketball and cheerleading (now on top of KJ's swim schedule) will keep me busy enough to get through the week and get ready for Friday.  Clomid.  **the optimism in me plans on ordering the Clomid after my appointment . . . just in case it's due to implantation...  ;)  Hey!  a girl can dream, right?!  Or maybe I'm just going crazy now . . . or maybe it's Hope and Faith . . . who knows; but I'm waiting until after my appointment before I order and take any more Clomid.  :)

As always, I'll update soon.

PS I don't have an update yet on the Home Study (assessment).  We are anxiously waiting for that, too...

1 comment:

  1. It is sad news. But it is still great news that you DID ovulate, and hopefully will again with the same dose (yay for not having to up the dose! :D).
    I love you my friend, and I pray for you every time I think about you.