April 3, 2015

In the midst of all the waiting... (SPD and ASD)

Oh, the waiting.  No solutions.  No answers.  Just a whirlwind of emotions from everyone involved.  What a LONG and draining process this has been.

Our oldest, 10 years old, was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder (September 2014).  We thought it was all the answers we needed. We thought we were on the right road to getting the help we needed —in hopes of understanding how to better face the challenges at hand. 

My sad, broken, confused, momma heart just needed answers... Needed hope that life would smooth out and that raising and parenting our 10 year old would feel right again.

But unfortunately only occupational therapy days gave me hope. Nothing changed at home. Nothing changed for school time.  I knew there was still more 'digging' that absolutely needed to be done.  I needed answers and my daughter needed me to not give up on her.  She needed something more.  So we pushed through...

So, here we are.  Now six months after her SPD diagnosis, four months of OT (twice a week —which we are no longer continuing, until we get some more answers.), three and a half months of seeing a psychologist (and so far a month of emotional therapy and a very high scored test for Aspergers)... And now waiting another two weeks for her to be tested for ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). 

It's been SUCH a trying road (6 years of questions and trying everything we could think of).  Please be in prayer with us that results are accurate and that our daughter gets the care, love, and guidance that she requires (and her parents too!).

This road has felt so incredibly long and lonely.  I know God has been holding our hearts through it all, but it has surely been trying.  Some people closest to us want to tell us what she "needs" (such as more discipline (and even what discipline she specifically needs), more or less structure, etc), and it's so tough to hear and take lightly when I know we're doing our absolutely best, with the situations we face.  No one knows what it's really like, unless they themselves have a child needing help and guidance beyond the "normal"-everyday-'kids being kids' situations.  I have started to accept/learn that once behaviors stem from a neurological 'disorder' (such as SPD), I can't let others around me make me feel like I'm not a good enough parent, or that I'm causing these behaviors.  I have to know I do my very best. And I have to accept that I'm only human, and definitely have moments where I fall short, as do we all. 

So, with April being Autism Awareness Month, I thought it would be a good time to share a little more of what we have faced and will be facing.  We aren't alone.  I know other Mommas (and daddies) are quietly facing challenges beyond their wildest imagination, of what "parenting" would be like... Keeping tears and concerns behind closed doors, afraid of what 'others' might think, say, or do.  Let's learn together. Let's pray together.  And let's tackle each challenge confidently!  (Even when we feel like we don't have any more 'fight' left in us). 

I love my daughter... Through every triumph and through every challenge.  Not only because she deserves it, and not only because I'm her mommy, but because God chose me as her mommy and her as my daughter.  We are literally a match made in heaven and I will keep fighting for great memories and a blessed future... She deserves the very best!

So, let's "Light It Up Blue" (for Autism Awareness Month), share our journeys and encourage one another!

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