November 17, 2013

One hour.

I just experienced my first hour away -all by myself. No nursing baby, and no talkative 9yr old. 

Since the twins were born, I've been alone with Elly several times. I've also had one time alone with Kj (I took her down the street for a hair cut). I had never gone anywhere well over 6 months!

Now, I didn't do anything extravagant.  I traveled 10 minutes away to purchased some cloth dipes from another momma (that I met for the first time when I arrived at her house).  I was only gone for an hour. 

Everything felt strangely normal, at first.  Probably because I was rushing to leave the house, as I normally am these days.  Then, driving there, I was so focused on directions, I didn't have much time to think about being alone.  Once I arrived, I had to check all the dipes and decide on what I was going to buy.  Again, my mind stayed very occupied.  *what did feel strange, though, was when I was in conversation and I would say "my son" or "baby girl".  I felt like I did before I had them and that I was making it up and telling stories. Haha!  I didn't have my babies there with me, so I felt like they were just all in my head. 

Once I started realizing how much time had passed, and I knew Elly would be needing to nurse soon, I started feeling extremely anxious and scatterbrained. The other mom might have felt like I had multiple personalities!  All of a sudden, I couldn't think straight.  I didn't remember how to function on my own. I think I kept repeating myself too. Haha!

I called Chris on my way home. I was sure I would hear Elly screaming over the phone. Silence. That's all I heard. Chris told me that he bathed Elly and then she fell asleep in his arms.  (Awww!)

I got home a few minutes later and was so relieved to see a calm and happy home. 

I stuffed my face with whatever I could find (because I hadn't had a chance to eat all day!) and I made something for Kj to eat --because Chris did a great job with all three kiddos; but apparently I wasn't gone long enough for him to get a chance to practice cooking AND hanging out with the kiddos. ;)

It was SO refreshing being out, even though it was just for an hour.  It was like a "reset" button... Wiping the slate clean... Starting fresh. 

I really need to do this more often!

Ps. Yes, I reeeeeeeally missed my babies while I was gone!!

No comments:

Post a Comment