I'm not dreaming

Yesterday evening, we had our first home study to pursue "kinship" of our young friend (second daughter), Pickle!!  (is that how you say it "pursue kinship"?).  We are going to Foster her and then pursue adoption.  I always thought it was just "foster to adopt" but last night we learned that we will become her "kinship Caregivers".  BUT the fantastic news about that change in 'wording' is that we don't have to be certified to foster before she can move in! :)  We were thrilled when we found out!!!

(I want to also mention KJ's response to the Consultant when asked, "How do you feel about having an older gal come live with you?" KJ said, "I feel great about it because I don't really want to have just my imaginary friends anymore or just my Build-A-Bear friends to play with.  I want to have a real friend here at home..."  it made my tear up and giggle all at once.  I love my KJ and pray everything goes through so she can do away with all of her imaginary friends (if she wants to)...)

The actual home study was a bit intimidating (I had prepared myself for that).  But overall, it was a great experience.  It's so amazing to see how God just lines people up to come in and out of your life for very specific reasons! :)  You want to hear how some of this has gone?  Let me share:

I'm just going to start at meeting my husband, Chris.  Which led me to meet Jessica (a friend of Chris's).  6 yrs after meeting her she posted on fb a job opportunity to work with her at a Boys and Girls Club.  I got hired.  :) a little over a year later, I became the Teen Program Director (and worked with the teens and preteens).  That is how I met the young lady! :) but wait!  It keeps going...

I had the opportunity to work back at home (providing Home Childcare).  I resigned but was able to leave my business info for the parents.  The young lady's [foster] mom used my childcare services quite frequently, allowing us the chance to get to know more about her and the opportunity to Foster to Adopt her.  Okay, so now we are pretty much up to date -- however, last night, the Home Study Consultant that was hired to do our assessment was not only a kind-hearted mother of 3 children . . . she home-schooled all three of them! (one in college, another 16, and the other is 13 or so)  —I have really really been praying about getting the opportunity (convincing Chris to 'let me'/be supportive) to home school KJ.  So, the Home Study Consultant was so open to share info with me about it and she was even kind enough to say such wonderful things about home schooling to Chris!  He heard first hand, from someone that had plenty of experience (or at least I feel that she has had great success!).  So, she said she would love to help me get started, share the curriculum sites (or something like that) that she uses —and even go over and check out their "school room" and "library"! :)

I was on cloud 9 last night!!  I just couldn't contain myself.  As soon as the lady left, I just leaped into Chris's arms (as much as my [much larger] body could) and held back the tears of joy.  :)  I told him, as we got ready for bed, basically up until my very last words before I konked out, "I'm so thankful to feel this happy right now.  After all we've been through, over the years, with ttc, I feel like I DESERVE TO FEEL THIS JOY RIGHT NOW!!!" (I hope that doesn't sound too snobby or anything —it's just that I always wondered if only the news of conception would fill that hole . . . that sadness . . . that desire to have another child.  You know what I mean?  Finding out that the paper work would be submitted by Friday just gave me the biggest rush of happiness and joy.  The kind lady said, after she was done with her assessment, that she doesn't see anything preventing us from fostering her and that she will have the paper work submitted by Friday and give us a call.  :)

All I keep thinking is, "I'm not dreaming . . . this is for real!!"  :D  I wish I had more words to express how in awe of God I am  . . . how all the strange looking puzzle pieces of our life (all the sad and most challenging life experiences) are finally being matched up and fitting into place.  I honestly don't know if I could be any happier right now.  (although, the thought crosses my mind frequently, "wow, how would you feel, Michelle, if you find out you're pregnant the same month that you become a foster parent to a 14 yr old?!" lol I told Chris that I would know that God wanted to truly bless us with every desire of our heart and that it would be our reward for fighting through all the tests and trials that have come our way --and, with God's love and care over us, we have successfully passed! :)

Have a wonderful Thursday and I will definitely post an update as soon as I have one.

PS. I believe that I previously mentioned having a Dr.'s appt tomorrow, Friday.  But I was thinking ahead . . . it's not until the 28th (literally around the time that Pickle is supposed to be moving in).  So, if you're looking forward to the doc update, you'll just have to wait another week.  sorry. (trust me, I'm just as bummed about having to wait an ENTIRE week! :P  )