Showing posts with label video. Show all posts
Showing posts with label video. Show all posts

October 29, 2012

IVF #1, Days 29-31: Recap

Since we received the wonderful news, not much has changed.  I still feel like I'm talking crazy, saying, "I'm pregnant".  I don't "feel" pregnant.  I mean, yes, my body feels different, sore boobs and sore and tender lower abdomen (endo is way more sensitive right now, with every movement), I'm extremely exhausted all day every day, and some nausea and nasty indigestion has definitely kicked in.  Oh, and I'm struggling to fit into my pants because I'm soooo bloated! ...but it's not to an extreme where I feel it's not my norm (from IVF meds or endo).

I want to be super duper excited, but I'm still just a tad hesitant because it's all so surreal.  I wonder when and if it will ever feel real.

I will go in for my second Beta test tomorrow.  I'm praying that the numbers are doubling as they should.  If I get great news again tomorrow, then maybe I'll feel a little more like it's real?

KJ, still doesn't know because she made it very clear that she does not want to know until there is an ultrasound to confirm that everything is going well.  It's been really tough not saying anything in front of her.  We've been very careful about not letting her overhear our excitement or conversations.  I can't wait until we know our first ultrasound date so that I will at least know when we might be able to share the news with KJ.

Symptoms:
  • complete scatterbrained and forgetful
  • exhausted/sleepy/tired
  • bloated
  • indigestion and nausea
  • super emotional
  • hot flashes —right after my nightly progesterone in oil injection
  • very sensitive lower abdomen (I assume it's due to endo, because of the pain)


Here are some other things that have gone on:

10:27:
When we got "the phone call", we were at La Cantera.  We had just left Build-A-Bear and we were buying a soft pretzel, talking about the two for one special they had going on.  I heard the phone ring and saw the caller ID . . . my heart started racing.

The nurse told me that my numbers looked "Fantastic", beta was 500, and that everything looked great with my progesterone level.  Then she said, "So, I want to say, congratulations!  You are pregnant."  I immediately said, "oh yay!! Praise God!! Thank you so much!!"

As soon as I hung up, I jumped up and down a few times, while gripping Chris's jacket, beginning to cry, and said "Hun!!!... She said everything looks fantastic.  My Beta is 500!!  Hun, it's real!!  We're pregnant!!"  (of course I said this quietly, but with a ton of joy and excitement.  I needed to make sure KJ would not hear.  She was off to the side, playing with some of her new stuffed pups —she was lost in her world of imagination).  Chris was so happy he stopped what he was doing, ordering or paying for his pretzel, and hugged squeezed me.  It was a great moment.

Jokingly, he said "I just found out my wife's pregnant!", to no one in particular.  He didn't care who was around...  Yes, we got some strange looks from the lady that handed us our pretzel and drink, but we didn't care.  We were so giggly and excited as we walked back to the car.

Then we were off to Austin, for my nephew's first birthday celebration!
road trip to Austin

I knew I wanted to tell my mom and sis in person.  So, I waited until the party was over and everyone was gone (or at least at their car).  I shared the news with my mom and sis and it was perfect!  We all cried and hugged and it's that special moment you always think about.  :)
*If I would have waited one more minute, before telling them, Chris would have exploded from holding it in from 11am until around 4:30pm or so.  Lol  He was being so silly (we were joking that he was just like the "surprise lady" from SNL!! LOL




10/28:
As soon as I woke up, thanks to a picture on facebook, of sausage for breakfast, I was immediately wanting to eat bbq sausage links and egg.  Here's the really crazy part... I don't really like sausage.  I'll eat it when it's covered in mustard, wrapped in bread or a tortilla.  But Sunday morning, I really, really, wanted some blackened bbq sausage with a side of scrambled eggs.

Chris stopped at HEB, on his way home from another errand, and he bought some sausage links.  I cooked them exactly how I wanted and I enjoyed my plate of sausage links and eggs.  I didn't want anything on the sausage, not even mustard.  It was just perfect!  —and then the nausea kicked in...

In the evening I was forced to go to Fiesta Texas (lol).  I say forced only because we had to go get our passes done so that we wouldn't miss out on the free upgrade/perks, that ended on Sunday.  So, KJ and met Chris out there.  (he had already been out there with a friend).

I was nauseous the entire time I was there.  I couldn't ride a single ride with my KJ :(.  It was so frustrating.  The only thing I could tolerate was sipping on my ice cold water.  Oh, and everywhere we walked, there was a strong smell of people, turkey legs, roasted corn, popcorn, hamburgers, pretzels, etc... and did I mention people!! Ugh!  It did not help!

Visiting Fiesta Texas for the last night of Fright Fest

Once we all got home, and I got my nightly injection, Chris went back out with his friend to a haunted house.  KJ went to bed and my bff came to visit!  :)  It was so nice to have some girl-time in a quiet house.  She gave me such a sweet and thoughtful gift:
"morning sickness relief kit"
Includes: Ginger chews, Peppermint oil, and Sea-Bands.  :)


10/28:  Info I was reading in one of the [many] books my sis lent me.  Our embryo(s) will be 22 days this friday, 11/2!!  The early stages of life are truly amazing!

August 15, 2012

Time to let go...

I've been up and down lately, with emotions.  I've been feeling really confused and sad and then really confident and joyful.  I've been trying to evaluate my life, thinking there needs to be some serious changes.  My marriage is still healing and I am working on myself —to be Love in my marriage (forgiving, kind and gentle with my actions and words, slow to anger, not holding grudges, etc.).  I am constantly reminding myself to "let go" of our battle with infertility and my battle with endometriosis.  I've been working on not letting myself turn bitter because of what has "happened" to me (in my marriage, with my health, and in my past —unfortunately, yes, it still finds a way to creep into my head and heart).  I'm working on staying away from the "Me" syndrome.  I don't want to have a pity party.  I want to just shake it off and keep moving forward. (easier said than done)

Today was a great day.  I felt great.  I felt "together".  I felt motivated.  Then, out of nowhere, around 8pm, the sadness and frustration took over.  I managed to overcome the heavy feelings and I was thankful to God...  then I came across a new blog, a great blog, Uncover Ministries.  It talks about having courage and letting go.  It stirred something inside of me.  I know I have a lot of healing to do.  Next month will be 5 years since I've known that I need to face the dark places of my past —and I still haven't. (I thought it wasn't an issue anymore and then right when I was about to turn 25 it hit me like a ton of bricks.)  I haven't known where to start.  The most I've faced anything is just having quiet time with God about it.  I confided in a friend last summer and we casually talked about our pasts.  But it only caused me to realize even more dark places of my past —parts of my past that I had been blind to see, until that conversation.  It confused, angered, hurt, and shook me up all over again.

So, as I read through the Uncover Ministries blog, it made me question "How much more courage must I need in order to face my past and actually "let go"?"  I really thought I had faced it and let go —enough to live my 'adult life'.  I sat and thought . . . and prayed.  I really need to find that starting point.  I'm realizing now that I have a lot more "letting go" than I originally thought.  I want to find that place in my life where I no longer carry the heaviness, anxiety, hurt, and anger of my past.

This song came to mind as I thought whether or not to post.  As much as I wondered what "others" might think after reading this post, the reminder that I'm not alone in this, and the thought that this might help someone else tonight, outweighed any concerns and hesitations I had...

Be blessed and stay encouraged!

(music video below)
Whatever You're Doing
by Sanctus Real

It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
All I can do is surrender

[Chorus]
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Revaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow your will
or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is you want from me
I give everything I surrender...
To...

[Chorus]

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to to release all my held back tears

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly
Something heavenly

It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time breathe in and let everything out




March 23, 2011

This is the stuff

Currently my absolute favorite song.  It will always get me singing and dancing --no matter what mood I'm in.  :D




Hopefully I'll even be playing it soon... ;)

October 24, 2009

yay it's back! :)

I had posted this video some time ago and then the feed was cut off. I found it again and I still really like it!! hee hee