Tears, tears, and more tears...
I thought I would be emotional from the menopur, follistim, ganirelix, etc; instead, I'm emotional while on progesterone. Is that normal? I'm flustered often and feel "blue" most days. So many thoughts run through my head and I work at staying occupied, to avoid more emotions and thoughts.
We are currently down to one car (and it's the one that is in worse condition) —Bummer! Also, we are looking to re-home our adorable German Shepherd puppy, that we got for KJ. —I feel so very sorry for KJ. It's not her fault, nor the puppy's, that my health and capabilities are not where they need to be in order to raise a puppy, her size (approximately 35-40lbs, maybe more?). I can't risk throwing my back out again. I can't risk being layed out from severe endo flare-ups. And most importantly, I can't risk, messing up this round of IVF over a pup —no matter how adorable and fun she can be... The fact of the matter is that she is more than what I can do right now and I don't know what kind of limitations my future may hold.
On top of all the other stuff, I have not been working, so things are getting tighter and tighter right now. I have to say, thankfully, we are in a very good place in our relationship, because last year, all these things, piled on top of one another, we would have been at each others throats, with intense silent treatments, daily —probably. So, praise God for growth and unconditional love!
We got through the first part of "the wait". Now, we just have to make it 'til Saturday... I really think this week will be tougher than the last.
I haven't been sleeping well at all —tossing and turning all night long, with sweaty-hot and shivering-cold flashes. Also, I've been having very intense, uncomfortable, dreams (where I or my family are in danger).
Today is day 22. We are still on 1cc of progesterone, nightly. Tonight was the first night I needed to switch to my left butt cheek. Tonight's injection was our 11th progesterone injection (10 were all on my right side, all bunched up in about the size of a quarter). Last night, I think Chris passed through a blood vessel or something, because it's super duper sore AND has a puffy green bump (reminds me of when I used to pop blood vessels, on my wrist(s), when I used to play volleyball —but on my butt. lol) It HURTS!!! :(
side effects that I've notice:
super sleepy (like needing several hours of a nap during the day to make it through 'til bedtime)
I get crazy "munchies"
Super thristy
sore "boobos"
very irritable
more random endo episodes
...so basically, it's like a very long stretch of PMS (poor Chris and KJ!)
Sorry I haven't been blogging everyday, these past few days. It just feels a little depressing that my only updates, really, are "very emotional again today"... lol I hope it ends soon.
October 20, 2012
October 18, 2012
IVF #1, Day 20: Oh what a morning!
What a day it's been already!
Horrible endo pain woke me up at 5:32am. I had been rolling around, in bed, trying to let it pass, hoping to just stay asleep. But this was the kind of endo pain that makes you wonder if your ovary is about to explode!
The only way I can explain the pain, for those who don't know what endo pain is like, is... Imagine your ovaries are balloons. Normally, you aren't even aware of where they are because you don't feel them in any way. However, these "balloons" feel as though they are just tiny water balloons that someone is over-filling. They keep stretching and expanding, fitting more and more water. They felt as if they are to the point where they are riiiiight about to explode.
If you can imagine that kind of burning, stabbing, pulling, twisting, tearing, -like excruciating pain —that's the kind of pain that woke me up at 5:32am. And I'll tell you what caused it. It might be TMI for some of you... (but if you've been reading my blog long enough, you'll know that my version of "TMI" might be some what different than 'the average bear's'.) When my intestines fill up, as in, I have to "go potty", it causes endo pain. When my bladder fills up, it causes pain. When I empty my bladder, everything re-shifts and causes another episode of pain (most times). When I "go potty", my intestines are now empty and re-shift and always causes another episode of pain. Sometimes the 'before' pain is so much worse than the 'after' pain. Sometimes the 'after' pain is so much worse than the 'before' pain. And then sometimes they are both just as paralyzing.
I've been regretting not getting another surgery before IVF only because it won't "just go away" —unless someone lasers it out. So, if I end up pregnant, which is exactly what we are praying for, I will have to fight these pains every.single.day. of my pregnancy, and for a while afterwards. If we don't end up pregnant from this round of IVF, I feel very strongly that I will opt for a surgery first, to get rid of as much endo and lesions as possible, before starting a "FET", frozen embryo transfer (since we had one embryo survive long enough to be frozen!).
*endo pain and full episodes can also occur, for me, if I go from a sitting position to a standing position too fast (get up too fast), switch laying positions too fast, lean too far forward while in a sitting position (polishing toenails, picking something up from the floor, lean forward to tie my shoes wrong, do a full-body stretch (laying or standing —arms over head while both legs are straight. Also, too much walking, standing, or movement (sweeping, yard work, vacuuming, mopping, or even recreational, etc.). Sneezing causes pain, if I don't crouch down or curl up somehow, before, to brace for the forceful explosion, along with coughing, gagging (I do unfortunately have a very sensitive gag reflex and gag every single time I brush my teeth. lol). And here's the real personal one... I'll share it only because I really try to spread awareness of how extreme endometriosis/"endo pain" changes a person's life. After every single orgasm, I suffer with 20-45 mins of a painful endo episode (typical endo "episode": entire body tense from excruciating pain, have to focus on breathing to help keep nausea away. When any extreme episode finally passes, I am EXHAUSTED, no matter how energetic I felt prior to the episode, and my whole body tingles from finally relaxing and getting good blood flow.) Now, that really puts a damper on things, if you can imagine! It's one thing to mess with my personal daily life, but it's really upsetting when it messes with my relationship!
If you, or someone you know, experience anything similar to what I just described. Please do NOT brush it off as "menstrual cramps" (because, yes, it does flare up even worse around 'that time of the month'); make an appointment with a doctor and tell them exactly what you experience and that you are concerned you might have "endometriosis". And here's another important part to this: if they don't do anything about it (look into it further) keep going to new doctor until you find one that will listen and take you seriously!!
I was 12 years old when I had my first signs of this horrible disease. We thought it was just horrible menstruation — little did we, my mom, sis, and myself, know that "horrible" menstruation is the first sign to something being "wrong". (I didn't get [correctly] diagnosed until I was 26!) It's not normal. (now back to my blog... lol. I just absolutely felt the need to share from my experiences and perspective.)
I got up to "go potty" and, a whole 28 mins later, the pain started to calm down. I crawled back into bed, knowing that Chris's alarm would be waking him up in 30 mins and my alarm would go off in an hour and a half. It took me an entire hour to fall back to sleep. Thirty minutes later, my alarm went off.
KJ was the worse grump, when I went in to wake her up! Cranky, yelling, complaining, whining, crying —very extreme this morning. I did my best to help her be positive, but it didn't seem to do any good. (I did my best to keep my blood pressure down and avoid "stress", as instructed after the transfer.)
We managed to leave on time and it was perfect —no traffic! I had to be at RMA, Medical Ctr., by 9am, to get my progesterone level checked. Everything was going so well... until my car started acting up. I had already driven for 15 minutes; I only had another 10 minutes to drive, but I knew I wouldn't make it safely. (my car refused to accelerate into fourth gear. The engine just revs instead of jumping into fourth gear. Then, at times, it would'n't even accelerate past first gear!)
"Don't stress...don't stress..."
There I was, 10 minutes away from my destination, parked in an unfamiliar neighborhood, crying. I called and had to have my appointment moved to tomorrow. I prayed and got back on the road, heading home, driving mostly in "2", second. —not "D"... that scared me too because I was afraid I was messing up my car even more, but that was the only way my car would accelerate enough to keep momentum.)
I reminded myself that there must be a reason for this —because on the way home, my car worked just fine, going into all the needed gears, most of the way. If only I could have kept driving to my appointment! It did, eventually, start acting up again when I was just minutes from my house, but still on the highway!
I made it home safely, by 9:17am, put some eggs in a pot to boil, and I'm now trying to "relax". Car trouble is never a way to "relax" though. lol
Today is "2dp5dt" (two days past 5 day transfer). I have 9 more days before we test for pregnancy!
'To a better day!
Horrible endo pain woke me up at 5:32am. I had been rolling around, in bed, trying to let it pass, hoping to just stay asleep. But this was the kind of endo pain that makes you wonder if your ovary is about to explode!
The only way I can explain the pain, for those who don't know what endo pain is like, is... Imagine your ovaries are balloons. Normally, you aren't even aware of where they are because you don't feel them in any way. However, these "balloons" feel as though they are just tiny water balloons that someone is over-filling. They keep stretching and expanding, fitting more and more water. They felt as if they are to the point where they are riiiiight about to explode.
If you can imagine that kind of burning, stabbing, pulling, twisting, tearing, -like excruciating pain —that's the kind of pain that woke me up at 5:32am. And I'll tell you what caused it. It might be TMI for some of you... (but if you've been reading my blog long enough, you'll know that my version of "TMI" might be some what different than 'the average bear's'.) When my intestines fill up, as in, I have to "go potty", it causes endo pain. When my bladder fills up, it causes pain. When I empty my bladder, everything re-shifts and causes another episode of pain (most times). When I "go potty", my intestines are now empty and re-shift and always causes another episode of pain. Sometimes the 'before' pain is so much worse than the 'after' pain. Sometimes the 'after' pain is so much worse than the 'before' pain. And then sometimes they are both just as paralyzing.
I've been regretting not getting another surgery before IVF only because it won't "just go away" —unless someone lasers it out. So, if I end up pregnant, which is exactly what we are praying for, I will have to fight these pains every.single.day. of my pregnancy, and for a while afterwards. If we don't end up pregnant from this round of IVF, I feel very strongly that I will opt for a surgery first, to get rid of as much endo and lesions as possible, before starting a "FET", frozen embryo transfer (since we had one embryo survive long enough to be frozen!).
*endo pain and full episodes can also occur, for me, if I go from a sitting position to a standing position too fast (get up too fast), switch laying positions too fast, lean too far forward while in a sitting position (polishing toenails, picking something up from the floor, lean forward to tie my shoes wrong, do a full-body stretch (laying or standing —arms over head while both legs are straight. Also, too much walking, standing, or movement (sweeping, yard work, vacuuming, mopping, or even recreational, etc.). Sneezing causes pain, if I don't crouch down or curl up somehow, before, to brace for the forceful explosion, along with coughing, gagging (I do unfortunately have a very sensitive gag reflex and gag every single time I brush my teeth. lol). And here's the real personal one... I'll share it only because I really try to spread awareness of how extreme endometriosis/"endo pain" changes a person's life. After every single orgasm, I suffer with 20-45 mins of a painful endo episode (typical endo "episode": entire body tense from excruciating pain, have to focus on breathing to help keep nausea away. When any extreme episode finally passes, I am EXHAUSTED, no matter how energetic I felt prior to the episode, and my whole body tingles from finally relaxing and getting good blood flow.) Now, that really puts a damper on things, if you can imagine! It's one thing to mess with my personal daily life, but it's really upsetting when it messes with my relationship!
If you, or someone you know, experience anything similar to what I just described. Please do NOT brush it off as "menstrual cramps" (because, yes, it does flare up even worse around 'that time of the month'); make an appointment with a doctor and tell them exactly what you experience and that you are concerned you might have "endometriosis". And here's another important part to this: if they don't do anything about it (look into it further) keep going to new doctor until you find one that will listen and take you seriously!!
I was 12 years old when I had my first signs of this horrible disease. We thought it was just horrible menstruation — little did we, my mom, sis, and myself, know that "horrible" menstruation is the first sign to something being "wrong". (I didn't get [correctly] diagnosed until I was 26!) It's not normal. (now back to my blog... lol. I just absolutely felt the need to share from my experiences and perspective.)
I got up to "go potty" and, a whole 28 mins later, the pain started to calm down. I crawled back into bed, knowing that Chris's alarm would be waking him up in 30 mins and my alarm would go off in an hour and a half. It took me an entire hour to fall back to sleep. Thirty minutes later, my alarm went off.
KJ was the worse grump, when I went in to wake her up! Cranky, yelling, complaining, whining, crying —very extreme this morning. I did my best to help her be positive, but it didn't seem to do any good. (I did my best to keep my blood pressure down and avoid "stress", as instructed after the transfer.)
We managed to leave on time and it was perfect —no traffic! I had to be at RMA, Medical Ctr., by 9am, to get my progesterone level checked. Everything was going so well... until my car started acting up. I had already driven for 15 minutes; I only had another 10 minutes to drive, but I knew I wouldn't make it safely. (my car refused to accelerate into fourth gear. The engine just revs instead of jumping into fourth gear. Then, at times, it would'n't even accelerate past first gear!)
"Don't stress...don't stress..."
There I was, 10 minutes away from my destination, parked in an unfamiliar neighborhood, crying. I called and had to have my appointment moved to tomorrow. I prayed and got back on the road, heading home, driving mostly in "2", second. —not "D"... that scared me too because I was afraid I was messing up my car even more, but that was the only way my car would accelerate enough to keep momentum.)
I reminded myself that there must be a reason for this —because on the way home, my car worked just fine, going into all the needed gears, most of the way. If only I could have kept driving to my appointment! It did, eventually, start acting up again when I was just minutes from my house, but still on the highway!
I made it home safely, by 9:17am, put some eggs in a pot to boil, and I'm now trying to "relax". Car trouble is never a way to "relax" though. lol
Today is "2dp5dt" (two days past 5 day transfer). I have 9 more days before we test for pregnancy!
'To a better day!
October 16, 2012
IVF #1, Day 18: Transfer Day!!
Today, felt like a dream. Everything about it felt like a dream...
Woke up at 7:45am. Went to wake up KJ but she was a grump. I sadly walked out of her room to go shower. She realized I was really excited and that she might have hurt my feelings; she yelled from her bed, "Mom?! I'm sorry if I was rude! I don't mean to be rude! I'm just tired." I was happy that she was considering my feelings and apologized all on her own. :)
We left the house later than I wanted to because we were still grabbing last minute things for KJ (snacks, her book, a sweater, etc.). Chris drove.
We signed in three minutes late. No biggie; they weren't busy. We were the only ones there. We took a family photo to remember that moment. It was full of excitement and joy!
I got called and the three of us quickly followed the nurse. I was instructed to change into the gown, hair cover, and booties, once again. I hopped into bed and then the embryologist came out. She happily showed me a picture of our two beautiful embryos that "made it", without any doubt. She said there was a third that might make it to freezing, but they wouldn't know until Wednesday. (the fourth one definitely did not make it to day 5.)
The embryo on the right is the strongest. She said it looks "perfect"! The one on the left isn't quite there yet —it still has some work and catching up to do.
That's when she said that it is completely up to us, because we are down to just two embryos, if we want to transfer both or just one. What a huge decision to have to make right then and there! She stepped out, so Chris and I could discuss our plan. I quickly told Chris that I want both to be transferred; he looked like he was going to pass out! lol I reminded him that all this time, from beginning of IVF process, we had both been saying that we really hope they let us transfer two. But now, he wasn't sure. It was real and we needed a decision soon. After some discussing, he was fully on board to transfer two (a high-five and all. lol!)
Dr. A made his way in to talk with us. He gave us some medical facts and statistics on a twin pregnancy. I'll be honest! It really made me think twice about transferring both embryos. But then I remembered that there are no guarantees that two embryos lead to a twin pregnancy. I've known of two embryos leading to no pregnancy at all! I had to remind myself that God is in control —over medical facts and statistics. (I mean, when KJ was born five weeks early, according to the "charts", but was almost 7lbs, I remember how the statistics and medical facts were showing that she would need NICU and tubes. We were told that she would develop slower. I remember being really concerned, but then seeing how God took care of her and kept her out of NICU, never needing to go even once. She's one smart kiddo and her pediatrician would always comment on how "amazing" she's coming along, more advanced than the "average kid", between 12 months and 4 years. It's because God is amazing like that!).
So, when the doctor left the room, to give us time to, again, think it over, he left the room reassuring us that there is no "right or wrong answer", that it's our choice completely. Chris seemed unsure about it just because he was really concerned about medical health of having twins (between myself and two babies). I had to remind him that this does not guarantee twins; the way I saw it was, it was giving us two chances at the same time, instead of just one chance, at conceiving a baby. He kept asking "what do you think?". Without hesitation, I was telling him everything that was crossing my mind. I kept coming back to the fact that God is in control. If he hadn't had it in "our plan" to have a baby these past four and a half years, that we've been trying to conceive, then just because we transfer two does not mean that He does not have control over "our plan" anymore. I, very strongly, felt that if twins were in our plan, God would take care of everything according to His will. If all this time, only one baby is in our plan, then God will make sure it happens that way. There was no other way for me to put it in words. I just knew, and still know, without a shadow of a doubt, that God is fully in control and will bless us according to His plan for our lives.
I could tell Chris was still a bit hesitant but he said "okay, I trust you" and I remember thinking, "me?. . . you trust me? What about God? Don't you trust Him??!" (then I thought, "Well, if I am trusting God and Chris is trusting my trust in God... then I sure hopes that means he also trusts that God is in control —no matter what we, or doctors, say or do...?") So, we gave them our decision.... "Transfer two."
It was such a surreal experience for me. *except as rough as Dr. A was, it reminded me that it was very real. lol. I couldn't hold back my emotions (I had already balled just when we saw the picture of our embryos. It became as real as this whole experience can possibly be. Life had been created and there it was, in picture form, right in front of my eyes.) and the staff member that stayed by my side, during the entire procedure, was absolutely God-sent and amazing! She explained everything in detail. Especially when things felt too rough, she calmly reassured me that it was almost done and she even offered for me to squeeze her hand (because I had a death grip on the blankets). *for some reason, this particular doctor, in the two times he has had to be in my "personal areas", has seemed to be too much in a hurry and extremely rough. :( very disappointing! Watching the transfer take place was amazing and emotional. The idea of two fertilized embryos going into my uterus was incredible and almost too much to take in at once. I did my best to enjoy every moment and just slow my thoughts down... one thought at a time; one moment at a time. Only God knows what our future holds.
I was wheeled out to the recovery/rest area and told to lay completely flat for 30 minutes. The three of us were more quiet than usual; everyone was kind of doing their own thing...
Once the time was up, I changed and we drove home. I laid on the couch the entire day, until we went to bed at 11pm or so. (I did make sure to remember my progesterone shot on time.) "Doctor's orders" were to lay flat for the rest of the day; tomorrow, you can sit up but still don't do anything —let your husband take care of all the cooking and cleaning."!! :) (sounds like a great plan to me! haha)
I still can't believe that I'm laying around with two little embryos in my uterus... the only thing that reminds me that this is not a dream is when I look at our printed picture of our two beautiful embryos!! I'm full of awe and amazement —that God has allowed us to see such early, early, stages of life... How amazing is that?!!!
I will go for a progesterone check on Thursday, at 9am. They need to make sure my levels are 'just right'; if not, they'll have to raise my daily dose (injection). The anticipated pregnancy test (blood work) is scheduled for October 27th!!! Only 11 days away!!! Wow —just wow.
We are counting down the days...
*a few more pics:
Woke up at 7:45am. Went to wake up KJ but she was a grump. I sadly walked out of her room to go shower. She realized I was really excited and that she might have hurt my feelings; she yelled from her bed, "Mom?! I'm sorry if I was rude! I don't mean to be rude! I'm just tired." I was happy that she was considering my feelings and apologized all on her own. :)
We left the house later than I wanted to because we were still grabbing last minute things for KJ (snacks, her book, a sweater, etc.). Chris drove.
We signed in three minutes late. No biggie; they weren't busy. We were the only ones there. We took a family photo to remember that moment. It was full of excitement and joy!
 |
I got called and the three of us quickly followed the nurse. I was instructed to change into the gown, hair cover, and booties, once again. I hopped into bed and then the embryologist came out. She happily showed me a picture of our two beautiful embryos that "made it", without any doubt. She said there was a third that might make it to freezing, but they wouldn't know until Wednesday. (the fourth one definitely did not make it to day 5.)
The embryo on the right is the strongest. She said it looks "perfect"! The one on the left isn't quite there yet —it still has some work and catching up to do.
That's when she said that it is completely up to us, because we are down to just two embryos, if we want to transfer both or just one. What a huge decision to have to make right then and there! She stepped out, so Chris and I could discuss our plan. I quickly told Chris that I want both to be transferred; he looked like he was going to pass out! lol I reminded him that all this time, from beginning of IVF process, we had both been saying that we really hope they let us transfer two. But now, he wasn't sure. It was real and we needed a decision soon. After some discussing, he was fully on board to transfer two (a high-five and all. lol!)
Dr. A made his way in to talk with us. He gave us some medical facts and statistics on a twin pregnancy. I'll be honest! It really made me think twice about transferring both embryos. But then I remembered that there are no guarantees that two embryos lead to a twin pregnancy. I've known of two embryos leading to no pregnancy at all! I had to remind myself that God is in control —over medical facts and statistics. (I mean, when KJ was born five weeks early, according to the "charts", but was almost 7lbs, I remember how the statistics and medical facts were showing that she would need NICU and tubes. We were told that she would develop slower. I remember being really concerned, but then seeing how God took care of her and kept her out of NICU, never needing to go even once. She's one smart kiddo and her pediatrician would always comment on how "amazing" she's coming along, more advanced than the "average kid", between 12 months and 4 years. It's because God is amazing like that!).
So, when the doctor left the room, to give us time to, again, think it over, he left the room reassuring us that there is no "right or wrong answer", that it's our choice completely. Chris seemed unsure about it just because he was really concerned about medical health of having twins (between myself and two babies). I had to remind him that this does not guarantee twins; the way I saw it was, it was giving us two chances at the same time, instead of just one chance, at conceiving a baby. He kept asking "what do you think?". Without hesitation, I was telling him everything that was crossing my mind. I kept coming back to the fact that God is in control. If he hadn't had it in "our plan" to have a baby these past four and a half years, that we've been trying to conceive, then just because we transfer two does not mean that He does not have control over "our plan" anymore. I, very strongly, felt that if twins were in our plan, God would take care of everything according to His will. If all this time, only one baby is in our plan, then God will make sure it happens that way. There was no other way for me to put it in words. I just knew, and still know, without a shadow of a doubt, that God is fully in control and will bless us according to His plan for our lives.
I could tell Chris was still a bit hesitant but he said "okay, I trust you" and I remember thinking, "me?. . . you trust me? What about God? Don't you trust Him??!" (then I thought, "Well, if I am trusting God and Chris is trusting my trust in God... then I sure hopes that means he also trusts that God is in control —no matter what we, or doctors, say or do...?") So, we gave them our decision.... "Transfer two."
It was such a surreal experience for me. *except as rough as Dr. A was, it reminded me that it was very real. lol. I couldn't hold back my emotions (I had already balled just when we saw the picture of our embryos. It became as real as this whole experience can possibly be. Life had been created and there it was, in picture form, right in front of my eyes.) and the staff member that stayed by my side, during the entire procedure, was absolutely God-sent and amazing! She explained everything in detail. Especially when things felt too rough, she calmly reassured me that it was almost done and she even offered for me to squeeze her hand (because I had a death grip on the blankets). *for some reason, this particular doctor, in the two times he has had to be in my "personal areas", has seemed to be too much in a hurry and extremely rough. :( very disappointing! Watching the transfer take place was amazing and emotional. The idea of two fertilized embryos going into my uterus was incredible and almost too much to take in at once. I did my best to enjoy every moment and just slow my thoughts down... one thought at a time; one moment at a time. Only God knows what our future holds.
I was wheeled out to the recovery/rest area and told to lay completely flat for 30 minutes. The three of us were more quiet than usual; everyone was kind of doing their own thing...
 |
| Laying for 30 mins |
 |
| Keeping me company, eating her snacks. :) |
Once the time was up, I changed and we drove home. I laid on the couch the entire day, until we went to bed at 11pm or so. (I did make sure to remember my progesterone shot on time.) "Doctor's orders" were to lay flat for the rest of the day; tomorrow, you can sit up but still don't do anything —let your husband take care of all the cooking and cleaning."!! :) (sounds like a great plan to me! haha)
I still can't believe that I'm laying around with two little embryos in my uterus... the only thing that reminds me that this is not a dream is when I look at our printed picture of our two beautiful embryos!! I'm full of awe and amazement —that God has allowed us to see such early, early, stages of life... How amazing is that?!!!
I will go for a progesterone check on Thursday, at 9am. They need to make sure my levels are 'just right'; if not, they'll have to raise my daily dose (injection). The anticipated pregnancy test (blood work) is scheduled for October 27th!!! Only 11 days away!!! Wow —just wow.
We are counting down the days...
*a few more pics:
 |
| Dr. A was nice enough to give us the petri dish, where our embryos fertilized and grew for 5 days, as a keepsake! It's so small —only about the size of a quarter. (you can see the number "4" scratched on the dish, lower left side.) |
 |
| Nightly injection of progesterone. (doesn't he look just a little too happy |
October 15, 2012
IVF #1, Day 17: Night before Embryo Transfer
Tomorrow, our little embryos will be 5 days old! Tomorrow we will transfer one or two of them (we won't know for sure until we get there). So, tomorrow is the BIG-BIG day!
Today, was a pretty great day. I felt so much more like my normal self. My bloating was down significantly! I was very pleased. (I was able to fit into some denim shorts that weren't even close to closing last night!).
This evening was the BEST time we've had, as a family, in a very long time! In honor of International Babywearing Week, we decided to share some laughter:
Five minutes before the pic was taken, KJ came running downstairs, saying "In honor of babywearing week!" —and she ran downstairs wearing a pull-up DIAPER!!! LOL (I gave it to her to use, for play, with her stuffed animals) I had to explain to here that it was not baby week —baby wearing week! haha. She changed to her night gown and happily joined in on the fun. :)
We laughed so extremely hard —I nearly pee'd my pants!! LOL The laughter lasted, for what feels like, all night. It truly made tonight the best.night.ever!! hahaha
My bum is super sore, from the nightly injections of progesterone. I decided not to alternate sides, every other night. I figured I'd rather have one really sore side, instead of two annoyingly sore sides. I'm not sure how much I'll last with this plan.
I'm really, really, hoping to sleep better tonight. I've still been waking up multiple times, to tinkle. It's more annoying than anything. I don't understand it because I don't tinkle that often during the day, when I am actually drinking glass after glass of water. But at night, I can't sleep more than an hour or two before I absolutely have to get up to tinkle. Last night I even had to get up twice in one hour again.
Not much more to update about today. I successfully kept my mind busy, around the house and with KJ's school work. So busy, that at 11:48pm, Chris reminded me that we still needed to do tonight's injections. I flipped out! I can't believe that I forgot. It should have been done around 10pm. :( I hope it doesn't change or mess anything up... I am still on Doxycycline, Medrol, and, of course, the progesterone injection.
I don't have much else to share but here are a few more pics from tonight:
Today, was a pretty great day. I felt so much more like my normal self. My bloating was down significantly! I was very pleased. (I was able to fit into some denim shorts that weren't even close to closing last night!).
This evening was the BEST time we've had, as a family, in a very long time! In honor of International Babywearing Week, we decided to share some laughter:
Five minutes before the pic was taken, KJ came running downstairs, saying "In honor of babywearing week!" —and she ran downstairs wearing a pull-up DIAPER!!! LOL (I gave it to her to use, for play, with her stuffed animals) I had to explain to here that it was not baby week —baby wearing week! haha. She changed to her night gown and happily joined in on the fun. :)
We laughed so extremely hard —I nearly pee'd my pants!! LOL The laughter lasted, for what feels like, all night. It truly made tonight the best.night.ever!! hahaha
My bum is super sore, from the nightly injections of progesterone. I decided not to alternate sides, every other night. I figured I'd rather have one really sore side, instead of two annoyingly sore sides. I'm not sure how much I'll last with this plan.
I'm really, really, hoping to sleep better tonight. I've still been waking up multiple times, to tinkle. It's more annoying than anything. I don't understand it because I don't tinkle that often during the day, when I am actually drinking glass after glass of water. But at night, I can't sleep more than an hour or two before I absolutely have to get up to tinkle. Last night I even had to get up twice in one hour again.
Not much more to update about today. I successfully kept my mind busy, around the house and with KJ's school work. So busy, that at 11:48pm, Chris reminded me that we still needed to do tonight's injections. I flipped out! I can't believe that I forgot. It should have been done around 10pm. :( I hope it doesn't change or mess anything up... I am still on Doxycycline, Medrol, and, of course, the progesterone injection.
I don't have much else to share but here are a few more pics from tonight:
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| We literally dropped everything as soon as we remembered we had forgotten the injection. |
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| Chris crashed right after he gave me my injection. It must be tough giving nightly injections... hee hee. |
IVF #1, Day 16: finally felt a little normal
I had been laying around, in the house, since Thursday's egg retrieval. Not necessarily by choice...my body just wasn't getting back to that "normal" feeling.
Is it the whole IVF process? Is it the daily progesterone injections? Or was it needed recovery time from egg retrieval? How about all of the above!?
My back felt much better today. Almost normal again! My insides didn't feel like they were bouncing around in there, for the most part. Now my mood seemed much more sensitive and "on edge" (similar to pms).
Leaving the house, today, was actually to rescue my hubby. He had left the house to go to Lowe's, needed to stop for gas first --but he forgot his wallet. So he called me and asked to meet him down the road to give him his wallet. He asked me to go to Lowe's with him and gave me his puppy-dog eyes when I told him I had just planned to go right back home. (I had literally thrown on a bra just to leave the house...no makeup, hair not done, comfy house-shirt (with tiny holes!), and crocs! --I was NOT prepared to go to a store. ). I decided "what the heck?! It's Lowe's, I might not stand out toooo much..." Lol. So, kj and I hopped into Chris's car and headed to Lowe's. (his face lit up like like he got a shiny new toy!)
Buying a new mower at Lowe's, the only reason for going, turned into also buying some pretty flowers and a huge barrel-like planter. Oh, also a pumpkin, four ceramic flower pots, and some other random stuff. :)
We got back home and got straight to work --mow lawn and clean out flower beds. We love our lawn now, but our body's sure hate us for it. Lol
I'll be honest, this morning started off really rough. We were on each others' nerves and I was so sensitive and took any huff and puff, that came out of his mouth, as a personal insult... We haven't had a moment like that in months! I didn't even want to sit at the table with him, to eat the sausage biscuits we had made together. It was crazy.
I took a long shower and shaved my legs, while listening to K-LOVE radio, and then I took some time for myself (self-care: plucked my eyebrows --that's my "me time", lol). That was enough time for me...until he walked into the same bathroom and crowded my space. :(
Once I joined him and kj downstairs, I sat on the single seat to keep some space and gather my love and kindness, and it all passed. We both changed our attitudes and became loving towards one another again (phew!). Then came the "I forgot my wallet moment"...
I'm so glad our day got better. I'd like to think its just crazy over sensitive emotions right now due to everything we are going through, with IVF. But I know I have to take responsibility for my own thoughts and actions, too. I have to work harder right now to continue to be a loving person. (It's not always so easy.)
During the emotional roller-coaster of the day, we received our 'day 3 embryo update':
"...Your embryos look great today. All 4 are dividing and progressing as expected. We will do your embryo transfer on Tuesday at 10:00am. Please be here at 9:30. There is no anesthesia, so you can eat and drink as you normally would. You can shower, but please do not wear any perfumes or scented lotions. We are going to need you to have a full bladder for the transfer, so be drinking water as you are getting here. There is no need to be in pain or hold it all morning, just simply be drinking on your way in. Once you get here, one of us will come out and talk to you about your embryos and what we are going to transfer. ..."
So we still have four beautiful embryos!!! Praise God!! We are still so amazed.
Tonight's meds:
Progesterone injection
Medrol
Doxycycline
No new side effects --still having SERIOUS hot flashes and still super bloated; is bloating still normal at this point?
Lets see what tomorrow brings. :)
Is it the whole IVF process? Is it the daily progesterone injections? Or was it needed recovery time from egg retrieval? How about all of the above!?
My back felt much better today. Almost normal again! My insides didn't feel like they were bouncing around in there, for the most part. Now my mood seemed much more sensitive and "on edge" (similar to pms).
Leaving the house, today, was actually to rescue my hubby. He had left the house to go to Lowe's, needed to stop for gas first --but he forgot his wallet. So he called me and asked to meet him down the road to give him his wallet. He asked me to go to Lowe's with him and gave me his puppy-dog eyes when I told him I had just planned to go right back home. (I had literally thrown on a bra just to leave the house...no makeup, hair not done, comfy house-shirt (with tiny holes!), and crocs! --I was NOT prepared to go to a store. ). I decided "what the heck?! It's Lowe's, I might not stand out toooo much..." Lol. So, kj and I hopped into Chris's car and headed to Lowe's. (his face lit up like like he got a shiny new toy!)
Buying a new mower at Lowe's, the only reason for going, turned into also buying some pretty flowers and a huge barrel-like planter. Oh, also a pumpkin, four ceramic flower pots, and some other random stuff. :)
We got back home and got straight to work --mow lawn and clean out flower beds. We love our lawn now, but our body's sure hate us for it. Lol
I'll be honest, this morning started off really rough. We were on each others' nerves and I was so sensitive and took any huff and puff, that came out of his mouth, as a personal insult... We haven't had a moment like that in months! I didn't even want to sit at the table with him, to eat the sausage biscuits we had made together. It was crazy.
I took a long shower and shaved my legs, while listening to K-LOVE radio, and then I took some time for myself (self-care: plucked my eyebrows --that's my "me time", lol). That was enough time for me...until he walked into the same bathroom and crowded my space. :(
Once I joined him and kj downstairs, I sat on the single seat to keep some space and gather my love and kindness, and it all passed. We both changed our attitudes and became loving towards one another again (phew!). Then came the "I forgot my wallet moment"...
I'm so glad our day got better. I'd like to think its just crazy over sensitive emotions right now due to everything we are going through, with IVF. But I know I have to take responsibility for my own thoughts and actions, too. I have to work harder right now to continue to be a loving person. (It's not always so easy.)
During the emotional roller-coaster of the day, we received our 'day 3 embryo update':
"...Your embryos look great today. All 4 are dividing and progressing as expected. We will do your embryo transfer on Tuesday at 10:00am. Please be here at 9:30. There is no anesthesia, so you can eat and drink as you normally would. You can shower, but please do not wear any perfumes or scented lotions. We are going to need you to have a full bladder for the transfer, so be drinking water as you are getting here. There is no need to be in pain or hold it all morning, just simply be drinking on your way in. Once you get here, one of us will come out and talk to you about your embryos and what we are going to transfer. ..."
So we still have four beautiful embryos!!! Praise God!! We are still so amazed.
Tonight's meds:
Progesterone injection
Medrol
Doxycycline
No new side effects --still having SERIOUS hot flashes and still super bloated; is bloating still normal at this point?
Lets see what tomorrow brings. :)
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